Crapgadget: 'Gee... thanks?' edition

If you need a flash drive or USB hub there are many useful and, more to the point, tasteful options out there. But if you want to saddle a hapless co-worker or relative with a silly, embarrassing, or just plain crapulant gag gift suitable for the current technological moment? Look no further than the following assortment of crapgadgets. Your illustrious Engadget eds have hand-picked a wonderful assortment of devices tailor-made to evoke awkward responses at office birthday parties and the like. So, without further ado...

Read - No Green Thumb Required: USB Fever 4-Port Flower Pot Hub
Read - USB Airplane Hub with built-in fan
Read - Robot USB Drives would make a cute gift
Read - USB Artillery Hub
Read - USB Octopus Hub

Which of these bad boys are almost, kinda not crap?

Flower Pot USB HubAirplane USB HubRobot USB DriveCannon USB HubOctopus USB HubVote

[joe23521 @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:43PM]

So, does the cannon physically eject your USB drive?

[John Stracke @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:34PM]

RTA. It plays 3 seconds of cannon sounds when you plug something in.

[Ross @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:55PM]

that would be epic. It would actually make me want to "Safely Remove Hardware".

[Khalid Shahin @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:43PM]

This would be good if it fired the USB device.

[all things considered @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:43PM]

many of the links to those products won't even load right now, probably because that site never expected so much traffic; traffic induced solely because engadget put up a poll asking about which one was the least crap-gadgety. lolz

[franktinsley @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:45PM]

I have a feeling the poll results will be completely messed up by all the people assuming they're supposed to vote for the crappiest gadget instead of the least.

[No Phone For You @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:06PM]

I have to agree. I thought we were voting for the crappiest one. (The Cannon)

[Jake @ Jul 2nd 2009 5:39PM]

Don't Do What Donny Don't Does

-jp

[A non eMous @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:46PM]

No Contest. The Airplane USB hub with built in fan. Possible tag line "keeping you two kinds of cool!"

[sacapuntas @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:54PM]

"fly high with this FANtastic USB accessory"

:D

[JonnyW @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:50PM]

too soon? never too soon! i loled for a good bit after reading that..

[G @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:46PM]

"Which of these bad boys are almost, kinda not crap?"


hey that's the opposite question from what you usually ask. i voted for the flowers by mistake :(


i think the airplane is nearest to not being crap

[Matt @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:51PM]

I voted for the cannon by mistake, thinking it was supposed to be "which is the crappiest?" But now that I know the cannon makes a firing noise, I believe I made the correct decision.

[No Phone For You @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:20PM]

I feel the need to take a college course on Engadget Grammar 101. No offense, but really...

[Il_Baffo @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:48PM]

"Read the question before give the answer."
Is that really so strange ?

[miko34 @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:49PM]

The Pink Robot USB drive kinda looks like Frankenberry.

[KGB @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:50PM]

I will take two Airplanes just for the cool factor.

[coffee @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:05PM]

I want two airplane ones, on one side and the artillery one on the other side of my notebook.

[Greg N. @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:54PM]

The robot flash drives don't look that bad at all...I mean there has been much worse on crapgadget before.

[A non eMous @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:54PM]

*grabs metallic spray paint and apple decal*

Where would you like it sent to?

[all things considered @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:54PM]

lolz....


....for once.

[LoStellare @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:57PM]

Actually the Octopus USB Hub is kinda useful, this of course after you connect whatever you want to connect to it, and shove it out of sight behind the desk!!

[Alan Strangis @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:04PM]

Yep. The Octopus might actually be useful with the breakout cables. All the rest are craptastic.

[Fred @ Jul 2nd 2009 6:08PM]

It was close, but I voted the Robots as best. It seemed appropriate to take the legs off before you have it penetrate your USB socket, in a weird kinky way. I almost voted for the Octopus, if only so it could give my power squid some company.

[Dayne @ Jul 2nd 2009 1:58PM]

Those robots look too lego-esque to NOT love them.

[lane @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:01PM]

That's a pentapus

[LoStellare @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:01PM]

Actually somebody should tell the manufacturer of the Octopus USB Hub that Octopus have *Eight* not Four Legs!!! they should rename the product quadtopus!!!!

[thybilldozer @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:02PM]

someone needs to make a Mortal Kombat themed hub with Goro and each arm is a USB port.

[alanpro777 @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:07PM]

LOL! That'd be halarious!

[Venomizer @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:09PM]

+1 for the awesome idea

[lazy @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:19PM]

Great idea!

[jo_82 @ Jul 3rd 2009 4:16AM]

Like this Panda: http://www.gadget4all.com/prod_detail.php?prod_id=00903&cat_id=014&dept_id=003 ?

[J-Reign @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:23PM]

Some reason, this reminds me of the movie Dusk till Dawn...

[bouv @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:31PM]

So the same site that thinks the Power Squid is one of the best gadgets out there is now saying the the exact same concept applied to USB hubs is crappy merely because of the addition of googly eyes?

[ja_3kids @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:32PM]

I voted for the airplane. It's obviously the not-so-bad, almost, kind of in an odd way the best out of this worst line up. That should be obviously evident, in an obscure way to anyone with the least amount of style.

And the added functionality of the fan pushes it over-the-top by understating the not so obvious.

Anybody get that?

[No Phone For You @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:33PM]

Please don't tell me you have an Apple tattoo and somewhere it says Made in China.

[Loonie @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:33PM]

I like the added excitement from the plane hub. Will your cable become entangled in the rather close fan? Dun-dun-dahhhhhhh!

[MarbleMind @ Jul 2nd 2009 2:49PM]

The octopus hub looks silly but it is most certainly not crap. I have a few unpractically wide stick-shaped USB devices that block the adjacent ports on many of my systems, forcing me to connect an extension cable if I want to use more than one port at the same time. Of all the hubs listed on my local price comparison site, this excruciatingly expensive multi-connector LaCie hub is the only other device to address this issue:

http://www.lacie.com/imgstore/product_medium/addons_hub.jpg

Tastes may differ but I'd rather have the octopus, thanks.

[Alex @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:03PM]

Octopus is not a bad idea, like those squid surge protectors.

[tobz1000 @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:08PM]

I don't think any of them look that bad... except the flowers, and maybe the aeroplane. The rest look okay to me.

[John Leyman @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:35PM]

What, no "All of the above" choice???

[JonnyW @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:53PM]

did nobody else consider the fact that the fan on the plane+wires=disaster waiting to happen..lol

[tekdroid @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:22PM]

The plane was fine until I saw the video and the noise it makes (and the chrome trim).
Canon similarly annoying (along with the chrome trim).

Octopus (Quadrapus?) is pretty practical.
Robots aren't so bad, but a USB drive competing with USB hubs is funny. The robot could plug into any of these.

[Graphical Mind @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:31PM]

First things first, Octopuses have 8 legs not 4. So it's more like a Quadropus.
Numéro deux, what's the point when wireless USB is on its way in?

[jcar302 @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:49PM]

Where's the transformers usb drive?
While it wouldn't be crap for $5, at $45 it was total crap.

[NOCknock @ Jul 3rd 2009 11:32AM]

Cow udder hub...

[Rick @ Jul 6th 2009 10:36AM]

You changed the poll question!? It's usually 'which is the most craptastic' and today it's 'which is not crap'. Oh so sly. You got me.