Flash drive bonanza: 36 crummy drives tested and compared!

The wild array of flash drives you see above -- a veritable cornucopia of bad taste, if you will -- has been put through some rather exhaustive paces by the freaks over at Test Freaks. That's right, they rounded up the finger tip, the tiny skull, the truly disgusting chicken foot, as well as a wide variety of fake edibles -- and poked and prodded them en masse until they came up with the answer we expected: most of these are actually pretty shoddily made. As if you buy a foul-looking shrimp tail flash drive because you expect it to get the best transfer rate. Hit the read link to check out the full insanity of this undertaking.

[Thanks, Vincent D.]

[Sisyphus @ Jul 6th 2009 4:34PM]

Does the crucifix flash drive resurrect your corrupted data?

[OneLove @ Jul 6th 2009 4:56PM]

@Barney: obviously not. "does quality matters"

[Samboini @ Jul 6th 2009 5:14PM]

The word cornucopia gets used far too much on this site.

[Gad Get @ Jul 6th 2009 5:32PM]

@ Sisyphus

No, it crucifies it.

[Complex @ Jul 6th 2009 9:09PM]

@ Sisyphus

No but it will deleted your pron it doesn't like unholy thing

[Complex @ Jul 6th 2009 9:10PM]

*porn

[Thunda Chunky @ Jul 6th 2009 9:12PM]

Really, Complex? That's the word you chose to edit?

[Bob @ Jul 6th 2009 4:36PM]

I thought was going to be the new engadget recession antidote

[jon @ Jul 6th 2009 4:37PM]

but they're all soo kyoote ^-^

[Nikesh @ Jul 6th 2009 6:34PM]

I guess one of those Chinese factories had a bunch of those fruit-shaped magnets left over, that used to be so popular, and didn't know what to do with them so they tuned them into flash drives.

[nerdtalker @ Jul 6th 2009 4:37PM]

I honestly feel sorry for whoever had to mess with all of those. It's like a holocaust of awfully designed and socially suicidal jumpdrives. Shit.

[Thunda Chunky @ Jul 6th 2009 4:52PM]

Your avatar describes whoever designed some of those god awful devices.

[Templarian @ Jul 6th 2009 4:38PM]

Where exactly is the usb drive on the stuffed animals?

[Aaron @ Jul 6th 2009 4:55PM]

Hopefully you remove the head, lol...

[Thijs Haenen @ Jul 6th 2009 5:09PM]

Unfortunately the connectors seem to be a suppository ;)

[asda @ Jul 6th 2009 6:52PM]

asd

[Ypoknons @ Jul 6th 2009 4:39PM]

Chicken's feet disgusting? You don't go Yum Cha in Chinatown / Asia much do you?

[Dayne @ Jul 6th 2009 4:47PM]

That bracelet is where it's at. Diamond studded and all.

[Eddie.exe @ Jul 6th 2009 4:50PM]

dejavu...?

[Luke @ Jul 6th 2009 5:03PM]

It looks like the strawberry 8gb has some kick

[Neil @ Jul 6th 2009 5:12PM]

You say:
"and poked and prodded them en masse until they came up with the answer we expected: most of these are actually pretty shoddily made."

But the article says this:
"Quality wise, most of these drives are decently made,..."

Usually a good idea to at least read the article you're commenting on.

[Laura June @ Jul 6th 2009 5:20PM]

I did read it. They don't immediately fall apart, but the brand name drives beats them nearly every time. Hence, they're not really up to our standards, imo.

[Shawn @ Jul 6th 2009 5:21PM]

From Engadget: "and poked and prodded them en masse until they came up with the answer we expected: most of these are actually pretty shoddily made."

From the bottom of the article: "Well we learned that USB Novelty drives just aren’t that good for doing anything but looking cute. "

From Neil: "Usually a good idea to at least read the article you're commenting on."

[Neil @ Jul 6th 2009 5:41PM]

I read it. They might not have good specs but, most of them are "decently made". Sort of the opposite of "shoddily made".

[Shawn @ Jul 6th 2009 5:15PM]

Anyone else notice on the bar graph that the 2gb stuffed fox holds 4 gb worth of data?

That's bang for your buck, foxy lady.

[NiGeRiA_StAnD_Up! @ Jul 6th 2009 5:15PM]

Most of them are tacky as hell. Off topic but whatever happened to ieye and his many iterations? I'd take him over Paul chapel anyday.

[Goatee Man @ Jul 6th 2009 5:56PM]

Choked on an iPod.

[TVGenius @ Jul 6th 2009 5:16PM]

No USB sushi? What kind of hack review is this?

[Edward @ Jul 6th 2009 5:26PM]

No Hello Kitty?

[wjousts @ Jul 6th 2009 5:26PM]

Of course, the one thing not mentioned is the shear impracticality of most of these novelty USB drives. Especially if you have to try and jam them into a USB port that is next to another USB port that already has something in it.

[xmidkx @ Jul 6th 2009 5:32PM]

favorites: the pizza (hawaiian), the shrimp tail and the pill. these are damn hilarious.

[xmidkx @ Jul 6th 2009 5:33PM]

favorites: the pizza (hawaiian), the shrimp tail and the pill. these are damn hilarious.

[Das Binky @ Jul 6th 2009 5:45PM]

Making their way to a supermarket capsule machine near you. Actually that's not a bad idea ™®©2009

[Erik @ Jul 6th 2009 6:10PM]

Dibs on the owl bling and the fried chicken!

[Wwhat @ Jul 6th 2009 6:20PM]

Next they should sell those drives and buy a $5 lamp to light their pictures in the future, if they can they might also get digital camera instead of using that old webcam(?)

[Denver_80203 @ Jul 6th 2009 6:48PM]

Fingertip drive??? Its a THUMB drive
bwwbwbaaaahahahahahahaahahhaa
haha
ha
a
ha

yeah

[sp.3 @ Jul 6th 2009 8:37PM]

The Michael Jackson Flash Drive will resurrect your data.*

* Requires anesthesiologist, sold separately.

[GhanaianBoyTellEm @ Jul 9th 2009 1:50PM]

What i want to see are the people who actually buy these drives

[tampa03cobra @ Jul 7th 2009 8:55AM]

I want the Fox and the Pill those two are priceless.