EATR robots are coming, this isn't funny anymore

Oh sure, we joke about rogue AI all the time, and we're aware that we'll probably pollute ourselves to death well before the robots get us, but who really thinks flesh-eating machines are a good idea? The (patently evil) scientists behind the EATR project -- no fair, they're making their own jokes now too -- have reached a new milestone in the development of the reconnaissance bot, successfully coupling a steam generator with a compact biomass furnace. It is now therefore possible for an autonomous machine to forage for and refuel itself with biomatter, otherwise known as soft, pulsating, yummy humans. They call it fuel versatility, as gasoline, diesel, and solar power may also be used if available, yet we'll offer no prizes for predicting which energy source these chainsaw-equipped robots will prefer.

[Via Switched]

[skyblaze @ Jul 10th 2009 9:04AM]

blog title ftw

[LMM @ Jul 10th 2009 9:24AM]

Seconded.

[10minutehobo @ Jul 10th 2009 5:31PM]

The one in the read link is even better.

"Autonom-nom-nom-nomous technology"

[Scarhawk @ Jul 13th 2009 10:10PM]

Love how it has "SICK LADAR" !!! Cuz plain old ladar would have been lame!

[Scarhawk @ Jul 13th 2009 10:13PM]

"Ramp for Packbots" OMG it can have babies!!!

[Dorf @ Jul 10th 2009 9:17AM]

No no no, they won't eat humans, this story is false.

They are going to use a substance called Soylent Green.

[Duke @ Jul 10th 2009 10:52AM]

You tell everybody. Listen to me, you've gotta tell them! Soylent Green is people! We've gotta stop them somehow!

[ilovethewaggle @ Jul 10th 2009 9:18AM]

All of my nightmares are comming true. I will never accept our new CHAINSAW WIELDING flesh eating robot overloards!!!!!

[SeanG @ Jul 10th 2009 9:35AM]

Well I, for one, will welcome our new overlords with open arms and 10w-30.

[this @ Jul 10th 2009 9:48AM]

you are not required to willingly accept our new chainsaw-wielding, flesh-eating robot overloards. that's what the chainsaw is for.

[astrodemoniac @ Jul 10th 2009 9:39AM]

I'd put one outside of the house of parliament just for kicks =)

[Rob Bourne @ Jul 10th 2009 10:09AM]

I'd rather put it inside instead.

[Releaux @ Jul 10th 2009 12:11PM]

In fact, these should be stationed inside every major house of government on the planet. The ecosystem will consist entirely of chainsaw-wielding robots and politicians and interns. The politicians will be distracted and craft legislation related to that ecosystem, thus minimizing the damage they do to the rest of the world.

We'll need some bigger, meaner robots for the outside of the ecosystem to keep everything inside, though...

Ah, the circle of biomatter-fueled life.

[icepod @ Jul 10th 2009 9:49AM]

多面手。

[Michael @ Jul 10th 2009 9:49AM]

run for your liiiiiives

[PedoJokerBear (aka Deeznuts) @ Jul 10th 2009 9:56AM]

you want a piece of me? do you robots?! well HA!


*stands on chair*

[JStro @ Jul 10th 2009 10:05AM]

Is it a chainsaw proof chair?

[Rob Bourne @ Jul 10th 2009 10:10AM]

Now you're standing at chainsaw height.

Can I have your stuff?

[rsm @ Jul 10th 2009 10:02AM]

I knew something was up! My Roomba went out of control last night and scrawled in my carpet "ALL HUMANS MUST DIE!" At first I thought it was a weird anomaly -- but after reading this, I'm not so sure anymore...

[ProfessorKaos @ Jul 10th 2009 10:12AM]

This is just great, the robot kill squads had to come during my life time, who the hell's idea was it to add a godamn CHAINSAW to the robot? Even without AI, it gets a electrical shock, and that saw diggs into your leg, ho yeaaa, awesome. I would be ok with this, IF the robot looked like Johnny 5 :)

[cbgoding @ Jul 10th 2009 10:20AM]

I say we pull an "Independance Day" and hack them with our prehistoric laptops.

That'll teach em.

[Jared @ Jul 10th 2009 10:44AM]

Yeah, they may eat us, but that is one SICK ladar.

[scottystalcup @ Jul 10th 2009 10:52AM]

Finally, a device that working parents can trust to watch over the kids.

[Dayne @ Jul 10th 2009 10:56AM]

Why did they ask Motorola for help naming this thing? That name ALONE will piss off a robot enough to induce a rampage.

[Insert Name Here @ Jul 10th 2009 10:59AM]

Fancy! Is that a Mr. Fusion on the back of the chassis?

[Beneyc @ Jul 10th 2009 10:59AM]

that must mean it poos no?

[Necrotix @ Jul 10th 2009 1:12PM]

This robot overlord uprising or the coming zombie apocalypse are just a couple reasons we all need to be armed...

[MaxPower @ Jul 10th 2009 11:11AM]

Its cake right? They prefer cake.

[Kryptech @ Jul 11th 2009 9:01AM]

The cake is a lie.

[Pete T @ Jul 10th 2009 11:55AM]

This uses a version of the waste heat engine from Cyclone Power Technologies. It can burn any biomass material and create electrical power from a generator connected to a sinclair engine. Hopefully they make a version for consumers to create electrical power from solar heated water or wood boiler. Less expensive than solar electrical panel. ...... Think peacful applications of this technology. They are using DARPA because the military has the money to develop this technology.

[KGB @ Jul 10th 2009 12:30PM]

Dont worry, Robo Cop will save us!

[John Stracke @ Jul 10th 2009 2:25PM]

Right after his snack.

[kyle90 @ Jul 10th 2009 1:37PM]

The only way this could be worse is if they gave the BigDog robots the ability to eat... and chainsaws,

[poppadot @ Jul 10th 2009 1:49PM]

~ never thought I'd say this:

PRAY THEY GO SOLAR!!!
We can come out at night to destroy them when their crappy environmentally friendly batteries die!

[jake @ Jul 11th 2009 11:21AM]

Haven't you seen the Animatrix?!

[John Stracke @ Jul 10th 2009 2:26PM]

"Fuel versatility". What a pleasant way to say "I CAN HAZ FLESHBURGER?".

[LB @ Jul 10th 2009 2:57PM]

I better start work on that bunker I've been putting off for so long.

[JackT @ Jul 10th 2009 4:29PM]

This robot reminds me of the field worker robot from Runaway.

http://www.technovelgy.com/ct/content.asp?Bnum=1042

[royb @ Jul 10th 2009 6:00PM]

i'm most concerned about the "ramp for packbots" in the back of the bot. is this like a
carrier for smaller, chainsaw-wielding minibots? one of these is bad
enough, but a pack of them? yeesh

maybe we could make a sport out of hunting small robots that are trying to hunt you at the same time.

[yrag @ Jul 11th 2009 2:18AM]

"The (patently evil) scientists behind the EATR project -- no fair, they're making their own jokes now too --"

It's complaining bloggers who first go into the bot's gapping maul Vladislav.

[radiek280 @ Jul 12th 2009 12:42AM]

Next thing you knowthey start putting us in fuel depots

[Mike M. @ Jul 12th 2009 1:02AM]

This robot was clearly designed to combat the coming zombie apocalypse. Robot chainsaws zombie. Robot eats zombie, disposing of the unsightly decomposing flesh.

[JohnTech @ Jul 13th 2009 12:07AM]

I would like to know how to use "sick" laser radar. What I mean is that if you want to bother the laser radar EATR, why not make use of laser radar health?

Or this is to employ a number of metals from their pimps Wrangler ride I said: "look at those of laser radar, man, this is totally sick."

[Bruce @ Jul 17th 2009 5:05PM]

If you actually read the PDF overview describing the robot it actually says that they are using Microsoft Robotic Development Studio 2008 to develop the demo and that there are a "wide variety of applications, including: Unmanned air, ground, and water vehicles; robotic swarms and cognitive collectives; driverless cars; distributed intelligence; ubiquitous intelligence, ...".

Wow, scary... swarms of autonomous, biomass-eating robots that run on Windows!