Windows 95 on iPhone: the worst Parallels installation you've ever seen

Give a guy an iPhone, a jailbreak, and an open-source, cross-platform x86 emulator, and it's just a matter of time before hilarity ensues. In this case, said hilarity involves getting Windows 95 to boot on an iPhone 3G, a process that takes 5-10 minutes worth of pure boot time only to yield an environment useless for... well, actual use. In the video, we see the hack demonstrated both on an actual iPhone and within the Mac-based emulator, which we reckon is just about the most terrifying Parallels / VMware replacement we've ever encountered. Apparently, XP emulation and 3GS tests are up next -- the 3GS should perform marginally better on account of its faster core and more capacious RAM -- but that still won't cure the sting of being handily beaten to the milestone by the N95, will it? Follow the break for video of the mind-twisting Microsoft-on-Apple-on-Apple emulation in action.

[Via Gizmodo and Good iPhone]

[mikethevee @ Jul 13th 2009 7:17PM]

lol idle minds

[sacapuntas @ Jul 13th 2009 7:42PM]

Is that a colorware'd macbook?

[Look_Around_You @ Jul 13th 2009 7:47PM]

@mike

It does serve as an interesting illustration of how far things have progressed in 14 years, where an entire OS from 1995 that used to run on big beige boxes and came on half a dozen floppy disks, can run on a pocket phone in 2009 and was likely downloaded from Bit Torrent in about 10 minutes.

[Cy Starkman @ Jul 13th 2009 8:13PM]

@Paul

wouldn't this unite the haters. The Win haters can gnash their teeth at their beloved being sullied and the Mac haters can gnash their teeth at their beloved running on the most heinous product from the den of evil.

Actually I think this is the beginning of a new dawn! Where the haters unite against their common foe, interoperability.

[AK66 @ Jul 13th 2009 8:14PM]

to the people it's a "blackbook," but the official name by apple is "macbook ultimate."

[mikethevee @ Jul 13th 2009 8:29PM]

actually "look_around_you", I know. It is only a small chuckle to these guy's idle-ness and their results. I've used windows since 3.1 running a 486 compaq all in one.

[sacapuntas @ Jul 13th 2009 8:41PM]

@AK66

I thought it was a regular blackbook too except I noticed it that has the new chiclet style keyboard....

[mikethevee @ Jul 13th 2009 8:43PM]

ok.everyone. stop replying through my post. kthxbye

[Matt @ Jul 13th 2009 8:49PM]

Ok. Roger that.

[John @ Jul 13th 2009 8:56PM]

I can't imagine any "Mac haters" being pissed at interoperability. That's like half of the pro-Windows argument in a nutshell; you can run Windows on a Mac, but not the other way around. It looks like it's a very nice OS with a lot to offer, but I'm not willing to go through all the effort of hackintoshing just to still be ultimately breaking the law.

[timberspine @ Jul 13th 2009 9:10PM]

@John ... the only reason why you can't run OS X on a PC is 'cos Apple has issues with it.

[timberspine @ Jul 13th 2009 9:15PM]

@timberspine: You're a stupid schmuck to read half the comment, understand half of the half of the comment you read and then post a half assed comment.

@John: neva mind :)

[darkstar @ Jul 13th 2009 11:23PM]

how ironic. windows 95 actually could multitask while the iphone still cant.

[Peace-whatever @ Jul 13th 2009 11:49PM]

P.S.

I don't always like the press........

[Samboini @ Jul 14th 2009 4:12PM]

Replying for the lulz.

[Quix @ Jul 13th 2009 7:17PM]

*shudder*

[Agent .25i @ Jul 13th 2009 7:43PM]

"What can they say? It's too painful for them to even fathom such a thing." - Paul A. (douche) Chapel
I was thinking thats how you fanbois would be feeling.
Finally there is a use for the iphone. Toss TCPMP on there and you have a great little media player.

[Look_Around_You @ Jul 13th 2009 7:49PM]

Why on Earth would this clown thing anyone "hates" this? It doesnt affect a hair on anyone's head. And from what I can tell, it seems like the they are the ones that are acting like this a real problem.

[bucorraba @ Jul 13th 2009 7:57PM]

@Paul A. Chapel

Run something more useable, faster, and cooler than Win 95, -on a real iPhone-.

[Dayne @ Jul 13th 2009 8:01PM]

This is either the most awesome thing in the world or i'm bored

[Josh @ Jul 13th 2009 8:21PM]

Not being a fan of iPhones, Windows 95, people, and many other things. What is this abomination why would they do it. Stupid iPhone, its not a computer. Stupid Windows 95, its...old and creepy. Its kind of like an old creepy man sitting in a park leering at the young girls. Its just creepy and it shouldn't be. Continuing my odd and creepy analogy, the young girls (iPhones) shouldn't be wearing such clothing around creepy old men. They should just stay away from each other. Not join forces and mate to form an abomination like this. Wow this analogy got horribly out of hand...

I'm not even sure what I was going for, I think all I accomplished was appearing creepy.

[Kamokazi @ Jul 13th 2009 10:01PM]

I agree.

I desipise Apple, and the iPhone, and I am quite fond of Windows.

But NOTHING deserves Windows 95. Nothing.

[Muddy @ Jul 14th 2009 2:24AM]

@Josh Best comment ever. I was wondering where you were going with that analogy, just like you were. You accomplishment was well and truly achieved.

@Paul Ass Chapel Have you actually ever had a girlfriend or are you too busy fingering the refresh key on any article remotely/can be tenuously related to Apple/Microsoft in your Safari Web browser, inciting hatred amongst the people actually trying to contribute to these forums? Don't worry about posting a come back as I won't be refreshing constantly.

[Levi @ Jul 13th 2009 7:19PM]

sounds more useful than when that guy got XP working on the PS3. Didn't it take like 10 minutes just to load notepad?

[Barry @ Jul 13th 2009 7:21PM]

Invalid Parameters.

[Malweran @ Jul 13th 2009 7:21PM]

Master Chief did.

[Clyde Berry @ Jul 13th 2009 7:22PM]

I completely forgot about that fugly default desktop color. Just seeing it makes me cringe a little.

[sacapuntas @ Jul 13th 2009 7:38PM]

as a kid raised around computers with that wallpaper I have to say I have grown to love it. :D

[Andrey @ Jul 14th 2009 8:14AM]

Ok, so....... why was Paul low marked on this comment? I use Microsoft every day. The only Apple product I own is an iPhone and I have to agree with him completely. Until Windows 7 (which I'm still undecided about) I kind of feel like Microsoft pays a monkey to pick out their desktop pictures based on which which pictures accumulate the most flung poo. Seriously, doesn't ANYONE else feel that way?

[SoulinEther @ Jul 13th 2009 7:24PM]

2000/XP might run faster, depending on the emulator... but this isn't running on an x86 processor so it'll still be slow.

Still an interesting concept.

[Jonathan S @ Jul 13th 2009 7:33PM]

Steve jobs. He said it kills battery life. He said the same thing about 3G, though. Lets be clear here: the iPhone is nothing more than an iPod Touch with phone apps and accompanying radios. Real phones have removable batteries, keyboards, and multitasking. This is because in the real world, people use their devices for more than the occasional fart app or scrabble game.

Please re-read: http://www.engadget.com/2009/07/10/editorial-taking-the-iphone-3gs-off-the-job-market/

And for the record, I use a pre because it meets all of those criteria. It doesn't have the stupendous blackberry keyboard or the thousands of iApps, but it has a keyboard and a forthcoming sdk. And instead of a charger, I carry around a spare battery. It's less bulky, and puts the mobile back into mobile phone.

[macserv @ Jul 13th 2009 7:35PM]

OH GOD IT BURNS

[Decoy @ Jul 14th 2009 3:53AM]

That would be the iPhones battery.

[DanielT @ Jul 13th 2009 7:39PM]

The entire process is much faster/cooler on the Hello Kitty 3G.

[Coopdoggie @ Jul 13th 2009 7:43PM]

Hey look! They made it useful.

[Steve @ Jul 13th 2009 7:44PM]

Why'd he glue his iPhone to his monitor?

[transfat0g @ Jul 14th 2009 2:27AM]

LOL I dont know if you're joking or not but damn thats funny.

[yes @ Jul 13th 2009 7:44PM]

lol someone is too serious in here.

btw, ZuneHD Rulez!!!

[Epsilon-Not @ Jul 13th 2009 7:46PM]

Clearly the obvious thing to do is to run a Mac OS emulator in the Windows box, right? (Probably have to be 68k) And then find some more emulators to run in that....

And thus the problem of overheating iPhones was figured out!

[DBrim @ Jul 13th 2009 7:46PM]

If it runs minesweeper, I'm sold.

[xodus @ Jul 13th 2009 7:47PM]

Paul Chapel u are probably the most pathetic useless human on the planet. You obviously are to stupid to make any kind of valid argument. Go walk in front of a moving car.

[TheIcemanCometh @ Jul 13th 2009 8:54PM]

@xodus - at least he's contributing something. Humor.

[TheIcemanCometh @ Jul 13th 2009 8:58PM]

@xodus - at least he's contributing something. Humor.

[3Djesus @ Jul 13th 2009 9:25PM]

@TheIcemanCometh There seems to be an echo in the internets today.

[Loonie @ Jul 13th 2009 7:49PM]

Perhaps it's your telling skills that are lacking.

The multitask comment was fairly amusing, but then you had to go getting all smug afterwards.

[Quixotic @ Jul 13th 2009 7:50PM]

@ Paul

Whether or not a blue screen would appear in such an endeavor as this has nothing to do with the iPhone's (or ANY Apple) hardware and everything to do with the software. The fact that there was no blue screen here just shows that the person who pulled this off really knew what they were doing.

(Note: I am not a computer expert. This comment is based off of my own experience and research. If I'm wrong, please let know in a simple, nice comment. No flames, please)

[esporenthead @ Jul 13th 2009 7:51PM]

I bet my money on Android running on an iPhone soon. It's only a matter of time.

[nd_jaguar14 @ Jul 13th 2009 8:18PM]

yes please.

[Daniel @ Jul 17th 2009 7:11AM]

Dude, check this then: http://budurl.com/iLinux
Your dream should be realized very soon...

But what about running Vista - i guess you'd need to install another processor & attach a fan to the back first :P

[Gregorian @ Jul 13th 2009 8:00PM]

I'd prefer to see Win 3.1 up and running personally.
I miss that OS.