What you are about to read is from an actual court filing. Gregory McKenna has filed suit against
Apple, which he alleges is conspiring with the mob in an effort to coerce him to return to a New York-based modeling agency he quit in 2000. As explained in the 124-page complaint, an
iPod shuffle he bought on eBay in 2005 and an iPod mini he bought new from an Apple store in 2006 -- possibly a nano, as minis were discontinued a year prior -- both contain receivers that have allowed the Mafia to send audio death threats that play in tandem with his music. The suit seeks $14.3 million total and lists ten defendants in all, including a local mechanic, a private investigator, the St. Louis Police Department, the FBI, and the US Department of Justice. While our initial reaction is to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, it's hard not to feel sad for McKenna and his state of mind -- of course, if by some stroke of fate he manages to prove it was all one big conspiracy perpetrated by the Mafia, well, guess we'll be ending up with egg on our faces.
[Via
TUAW]
posted Jul 20th 2009 9:59PM
...you're telling me you guys DON'T believe this? Geez, talk about Apple bias.
How is this funny? Does this amuse you? Is this guy like a clown? Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm effed up or something but what is so damn funny?
I think what everyone finds so funny is how absurd the claim is, which is also very sad since the person either believes this, or believes that he could actually win a case like this.
Watch out for Don Jobs!
Want to whack a rival crime boss? There's an App for that!
Please, we all know that if any company is going to join some vast conspiracy with the mob, a mechanic, and the DoJ, to harass some out of work male escort, it's Apple.
I smell Ballmer...
@Marbles:
+1
@Marbles
iMob?
Sorry to say this but I belive this is true...I used to have a Ipod MIni and from time to time used to 'play songs or non sense things that I ever listened to so I throw it away...but now I see why used to do that
Engadget doesn't want to get on the bad side of Steve Mobs.
I do really feel bad if he does have some sort of mental disability... but otherwise...
ha... haha...hahahahaaha...... HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
PS. ha
you missed a ha ;)
anyway, on the post, even if there really is a transmitter, did it ever occur to you that MOB might have put a transmitter in there, and not apple?!?
I think everybody misses a-ha
He clearly has paranoid schizophrenia.. He says his girlfriend's and mom's cars both play death threats over the speakers when he is driving.. It's very sad that he has not been helped yet. That said, it is hard not to laugh..
I thought you were kidding about the car-being-bugged bit, but then I clicked the "read" link.
Hence my minor... "disclaimer" of sorts. Had I read further into it, I would have had a less... "insulting"? (for whoever has gotten offended) comment. That being said, it doesn't help that Engadget doesn't point that out in the post.
I really wouldn't be surprised if it turns out this guy is a schizophrenic.
Yeah I can't believe this guy's lawyer or someone at the court didn't just call the psychiatric hospital...this sounds exactly like schizophrenia.
I KNEW IT!
You and him are both morons because its was obviously done by robots sent from the future to make sure he is working at that New York based modeling agency so that he can lead the resistance...
The mob was so 20th century.
Thats going to be my defense!!!
" I swear judge Microsoft working with PETA made me do it! Listen to my Zune and you will hear PETA tell me to let all the animals out of the zoo!"
My iPod shuffle tells me to burn things :)
My iPod Nano... burns things.
When I press play on my ipod, I can ear Bruce dickinson telling me to die with my boots on.
iPod Minis were discontinued in 1998?
Apparently.
-Taylor
They fixed it, but I noticed that too and was confused for a bit.
Bent a little? Hahaha. Please.
Generalguy41 would be generally correct, btw. Unless you can prove otherwise.
No.
At last the truth comes out.
Apparently indeed.
damn it, that response was meant for Jon
Yeah I was wondering what you where on about. I thought you were CRAZY!
That would be ironic coming from the one with the name "Nutjob"
Ah, that would not be ironic. It might be the pot calling the kettle black, or even hypocritical if you bent it a little, but not ironic. Look it up.
Well at least you knew what I meant... it's been a late night, can't think straight XD
You're forgiven.
He has to win this case so he can pay for his schizophrenia electric shock therapy. Let's hope his shuffle accidentally sends enough voltage through the ear buds so he doesn't have to!
Taylor - is there any particular reason we need to see your name three times in a post containing one word?
WTF?
Wtfwtf?
¡FTW!|¡WTF!
This isn't ridiculous, I've been thinking this too. Just never thought I should report it.
/end sarcasm.
I'm so glad you put the "/end sarcasm" notation at the bottom, or otherwise I would have thought you were completely serious and made fun of you!!!
what are you looking down here for?
Cookies?
Eight Months you mean? :p
Who cares about the Mob when there are mistakes in the post!!!
I have to say I wonder if the other defendants even know they were listed?
I just hope this isn't someone just trying to drum up readers for their blog. It's just too ridiculous, even if he may have mental problems.
I'm sure Ars is desperate for readers.
The guy the filed the suit, not the site that broke the story.
I believe I speak for many people by saying "pics or it didn't happen."
Plus if this guy proved that this was true, do you think Engadget, plus a lot of apple lovers, would jump bridge because of it?
No, honestly, I think its pretty much just you.
SPOILER ALERT: The guy who filed this suit has a form of schizophrenia.
I hope this guy gets some help :( This is really sad.
Dude! I know how he feels. The Logitech bugged my mouse.
Yeah im pretty sure they watch me in my webcam.
They use the lasers to track my movements...
But it's too nice of a mouse to be left behind.
Devious......
Those are features.
Dot.
Dot.
Dot.
o_O
Holy crap, so that was the threat I got on the iPod, and I thought I was hearing things!
I think Paul did it. 8^)
Dear Gregory McKenna,
We did not put receivers in iPods. Just Zunes. Thank you for the brilliant idea though. It somehow escaped our thoughts.
Sincerely,
The Mafia
If they put that in the ipods then id hate to know what they put in my macbook pro.
Oh, I think you know....
OS X?
not much,, they just converted my floppy disk into a hard drive :o
/giggity
I wasn't aware that public ridicule had become the recommended way to treat Schizophrenia.
Yes, because we ALL knew that he was schizophrenic.
Public ridicule is how society is repaid after all our tax dollars spent letting these untermenschen live.
Yep, it's the treatment du jour. Even the NY Times in getting in on the act: http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/15/even-superman-needs-his-mom-and-dad/
With such important news, there's just no time to stop and think, is there?
I love how people who stoop to such ridiculous levels just to get a few bucks.
"How fortunate for leaders that the masses do not think"
- Hitler
(No, I'm not a Nazi)
You are just a regular fascist who just happened to have good memories on words of wisdom from a regular fascist leader.
Does your Zune get messages from the Mafia? I think not!
Another innovation from Apple, I say!
nanothermite!! ron paul!
I hope that Apple and most of the defendents are found innocent but that the mechanic can't afford a good lawyer and gets hit with the enter bill.
Clearly someone has something against mechanics :P
Whats the matter? Mechanic bug your horn to issue death threats?
that's not a problem, that's a feature
It all makes sense now!!!
I was thinking of buying an ipod and woke up with a horse's head in my bed...
I feel so much safer now with my Samsung P2.
Audio based Mafia death threats to return to a New York-based modeling agency. There's an app for that.
+1
What's the harm investigating this. You never know. If it turns out that there is some merit to his complaint, I think the repercussions would be interesting. Maybe he has mental problems. That doesn't mean he can't be a victim.
Well, now we know where Apple got that $30 billion in cash reserves.
Ell Ess Dee Bay Bee
Rather than death threats, my Sansa Clip merely taunts me.
Is that a build to order option ... if so I am filing suit because I was not informed of this functionality and most certainly would have opted for it.
P.S. my iPhone keeps posting pictures of my junk on YouTube .. Lawsuit to follow.
People like this are a danger to society at large, he should be locked away.
No they're not.
They just give us some lulz..
With apple.. Who knows...
No doubt a WinMo user becomes delusional. It has taken a big toll on WinMo users since iPhone was released! :)
but what about mugatu?
And I thought I was the only one, is there any way to get this moved to class action status??? for teh lulz of course, but seriously,....
This lawsuit implies that Apple and the Mafia are separate organisations! I thought they were one of the same!?! Seriously though, I think this case is probably true as Apple have certainly bugged my iPhone. I mean, I say 'Play songs by whatever artist' and my iPhone plays songs by said artist. So somebody is listening in.
Every time I listen to my iPod, I get this sudden urge for Italian food, and my playlists are nothing but Frank Sinatra.
Now, I know.
Would it be wrong to hope it's true?
hmm does this mean we can start sue Microsoft because they are activelly killing us by causing bluescreens which causes bleedings in our brains because we get angry and the blood pressure rises to critical levels??
This wasn't funny when it was posted on the Register.
The guy needs medication.
Ah, so THIS is why I feel so much safer after switching to the Pre.
Also, I'd like Nilay to explain why a lawyer took this case instead of referring this guy to a mental health professional. I guess it was easier than chasing down another ambulance...
@generalguy41
Nope, that's irony, alright - the use of opposites to achieve humor. Your mistake is also ironic!