New iPhone only visible to most loyal customers, claims The Onion

Can you spot the poseurs?

[infinityv Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:09AM]

10/10

[air on Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:21AM]

I hope people actually read the article instead of just looking at the picture. article is gold XD

[Voss Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:38AM]

Paul, you sad case, what are you on about?

Why do you have to comment on every single Apple related post here? Nothing else to do with your time then patrolling Engadget comments... really sad.

[MarkAnderson Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:47AM]

Wouldn't you have to have a job to do that, Paul?

[billmiller Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:55AM]

Is this like the old story...'The Emperor's New Clothes' :P

[Duke Posted Jul 29th 2009 11:07AM]

Thanks for telling us what Apple products you bought Paul, its so refreshing to see a guy talking on the internet about how much money he spent and what crap he bought. Oh yeah, its very original.

"Retailing for $599, the iPhone 3GI offers only the most special Apple consumers—the ones who believe in the company more than anything else in the world, and who would never, ever dream of questioning it—the ability to open dozens of powerful applications at once."

Paul, that is you and your type they're mocking. How can you not see that your behavior is ridiculous?

[Duke Posted Jul 29th 2009 11:12AM]

True. You got us there.

[LAY Posted Jul 29th 2009 11:49AM]

I'm starting to think this isnt the actual Paul A. Chapel. This has to be a guy playing a parody of the original at an obscenely coked-up level.

[(Unverified) Posted Jul 29th 2009 12:08PM]

B
O
R
I
N
G

[monkey with glasses Posted Jul 29th 2009 12:20PM]

Is Paul Chapel the same person as Paul A Chapel?

[jivetrky Posted Jul 29th 2009 12:46PM]

I love this line the best:


"Not only does it look awesome, but it can do pretty much anything you want as long as you believe in it."

[monkey with glasses Posted Jul 29th 2009 1:20PM]

Their comment seem different or split personallity?

Paul Chapel loves apple. Paul A Chapel adores apples and the worms it housed.

[Sir Mycroft Posted Jul 29th 2009 4:11PM]

At least now we know what he looks like.

[Raul7 Posted Jul 29th 2009 5:02PM]

"No Starbucks cup. Not real."
Funny. I have quite a few Apple products at home and NEVER in my life set foot into a Starbucks.

[(Unverified) Posted Jul 29th 2009 7:38PM]

125 comments about nothing. Seinfeld rerun.

[VanillaSpice Posted Jul 29th 2009 11:12PM]

Look_Around_You said "I'm starting to think this isnt the actual Paul A. Chapel. This has to be a guy playing a parody of the original at an obscenely coked-up level."

Heh. I hope you're being hideously ironic!

Throughout all the months of the people versus Paul A Chapel, did it never occur to you, or anyone else, that Paul A Chapel was *already* a guy playing an obscenely coked-up parody of the original Apple fanboys?

I mean, you just had to read his posts. Read the ones here! Is it really possible for someone to be so immature and fanboyish that they'd write that "most original, most beautiful, most sexy device ever made" comment above (and genuinely believe it) ... while *simultaneously* being self-aware and self-deprecating enough to make jokes like his starbucks-and-turtleneck post?

Clearly, he is self-deprecating enough to make jokes, and therefore his ultra-fanboy persona is a fiction. And it always has been. The only people who missed the (incredibly obvious) parody and sarcasm were those who believe that all Apple fans (and anyone who makes a positive comment about them) are immature and unthinking snobs - PAC's ultra-fanboy persona fitted their prejudices so nicely that they were unable to see the parody.

[kurisutofu Posted Jul 30th 2009 5:24AM]

Give Paul some slack, after all, here, he might be the only one to see the iPhone 3GI.

[One Love Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:09AM]

Let the war begin!

[One Love Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:17AM]

That's paul chapel in the white. Apple hasn't rewarded him yet for his loyalty. (hes still trying)

[KGBSmurf Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:09AM]

Let the fanboyfest begin!

[aMac Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:18AM]

Oh hey, looks like they finally added a front-facing camera.
Nice work, Apple.

[OriginalJosh Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:09AM]

why was this even posted?

[NeoJew Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:11AM]

FOR JUSTICE!

[kjb434 Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:14AM]

Because the Onion is probably one of the funniest websites ever created!

[Tiger72 Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:16AM]

bigger question is: WHEN DOES IT COME OUT!?! OMG I WANT ONE LOOK AT THOSE THEY LOOK SO INNOVATIVE AND AMAZING!

[OriginalJosh Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:16AM]

the emperor's new iphone?

[Shmiert Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:27AM]

The Onion has funny articles on various tech subject on a regular basis, but this one was about the iPhone so Engadget had to report. Because, you know, IPHONE! IPHONE!

[BigD145 Posted Jul 29th 2009 11:08AM]

Because this is Engadget and they need more Apple to chew on.

[Generalguy41 Posted Jul 29th 2009 11:43AM]

Because I asked them to... No, seriously, I suggested it.

Didn't think people would go crazy over a joke...

[jon Posted Jul 29th 2009 2:14PM]

Reading some of these comments, this really does seem to have struck a nerve with some of the faithful.

Good catch, General sir.

[(Unverified) Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:11AM]

Lol!! They look like apple's most loyal too!!!

[Omoks Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:10AM]

Nice! Love the Onion.

[(Unverified) Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:11AM]

Why is Engadget reporting on this? I'm never going to get back the part of my life that I wasted reading this totally pointless article.

[NeoJew Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:14AM]

You had to read the article to tell that it was pointless?

[MacAlan Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:31AM]

I bet you're a bundle of fun at parties.

[IanKen Posted Jul 29th 2009 12:22PM]

Awwwwwww. Did they wittle Onion hurt your wittle bitty isheep feewings?

[Calpa Posted Jul 29th 2009 12:50PM]

You shouldn't be on the interwebs.

[Steven Wozniak Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:11AM]

Who is Paul Chapel? Link me!

[Steven Wozniak Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:30AM]

Oh, I see. All the MicroTards hate you because you're a Mac.

Well, I love you too. :]

[Steven Wozniak Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:40AM]

Besides, who needs a PC when you can run Windows on your Macintosh?

[Voss Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:42AM]

@Paul, Hahaha, you're trying to convince us you have a girlfriend! LOL

[(Unverified) Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:46AM]

Paul i-left-out-an-initial-cause-I-dont-want-to-be-called-a-douche-anymore-but-I-still-am Chapel

[(Unverified) Posted Jul 29th 2009 11:38AM]

Ah, the king of trolls makes an appearance.

[(Unverified) Posted Jul 29th 2009 11:40AM]

Paul, you're hilarious and I love you.

[Spartan117458 Posted Jul 29th 2009 12:28PM]

"Even met my current girlfriend because she stopped to ask me about my MacBook Pro while I was in Starbucks."

Wow, Paul, if that was even close to believable, you really would be the epitome of "that guy."

[Jordan Posted Jul 29th 2009 6:05PM]

"Actually, I'm a PC user too. I started out complaining about Windows 7 on Engadget and I got branded a Mac fanboy in like 3 minutes. So, I said screw it, since PC people are so defensive and can't answer my concerns about Windows 7, maybe I should check out a Mac. I had used my best friend's Mac and knew how it worked, so switching was easy."

Such a bullsh.it lie. You switched to a Mac when Windows 7 isn't even out? You are the most defensive Apple person ever. You say PC people are defensive? Have you looked in a mirror?

And if you have, did you see your "girlfriends" reflection or was it just one giant douche standing there?

[Nismode Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:12AM]

In before Paul Chapel.

[Steven Wozniak Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:25AM]

Too late, I drew him here. :|

[waterhand Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:12AM]

It's just as transparent as At&t's 3G service.

[tym Posted Jul 29th 2009 10:46AM]

zzzzzzzing