While we wait for all the carriers to get on board with nixing their endless, unhelpful voicemail pre-beep messages, we've already got instructions from Sprint on how to disable it for your own particular voicemail box on that network.

It's pretty easy:
  1. Call your voicemail
  2. At the menu, press 3 for personal options
  3. Press 2 for greeting
  4. Press 1 to change the greeting
  5. To enable / disable the instructions, press 3
Trust us, we did some serious searching for similar instructions on the other major carriers, but had no luck. If you know of anything, let us know!

Update: Thanks to some helpful comments we've got instructions for AT&T and Verizon for lopping off bits of the message, and, in Verizon's case, speeding up the talking. Check 'em out after the break. Consider yourselves upgraded to orange, guys!


AT&T
There's a "cut through paging" option on AT&T's voicemail, at least for certain customers. It only cuts off that small section of the voicemail instructions (the part about paging somebody), but it's all very unclear and inconsistent. AT&T has been upgraded to orange, and you're free to try these instructions at your own risk:
  1. Call your voicemail
  2. Go to personal options
  3. Go to administrative options
  4. Select "cut through paging"
  5. Select off

Verizon

Instructions are a little conflicting, but here's what we've gleaned from the tips. As far as we can tell, Verizon methods can vary by region, so let us know what works for you.Here's what kchinth recommends.
  1. Personal options
  2. Administrative options
  3. General options
  4. Then you will have these three options:
    • Auto Play On or Off
    • Call Back Number Prompt On or Off
    • Rapid Prompt or Standard Prompt

T-Mobile

Crickets.

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Take Back the Beep: how to disable voicemail instructions on Sprint (updated!)