Rotgutonix -- the slightly paranoid, somewhat discerning drunk's best friend
By Laura June 
posted August 13th 2009 10:20PM
posted August 13th 2009 10:20PM
So concerned with the quality of the liquor you binge-drink that you think a testing device that looks just like a pregnancy test is in order? Sweet -- Rotgutonix has got you covered! Just uncap the tip, dip it in your drink for a few seconds -- and you'll have an answer in under a minute -- and while the device is only capable of recognizing five liquors at this point, the company hopes future iterations will include up to twenty. Sure, it's a novelty item, and likely won't actually be able to tell you if that Johnnie Walker you're swilling is "rotgut," i.e., poison, but it's fun, right? Of course, you could just do what we do -- subsist entirely on seltzer -- and save yourself the trouble of having to wonder if your alcohol is poison (probably). Sadly, it seems to be unavailable for purchase yet, but we're going to keep our eyes out for this one, we assure you.
I remember the FIRST time my liquor was poisoned
Congratulations! That is the biggest achievement of your life :D
When McNugget replied, I seriously started thinking something fishy is going on here...
Johnnie Walker IS rotgut, give me a single malt goddammit.
Johnnie Walker HAS a single malt: Green Label.
Nope, green label is a blend too, as is blue label which costs over £100 a bottle.
In my opinion it's a myth that blends have to be inferior to single malts; even black label is as good as many island single malts.
If you blend crap, you get a crap blend (like red label, or other cheaper blends), if you blend decent stuff, you can end up with a lovely drink that has good properties of various single malts combined! Bargain!
"even black label is as good as many island single malts"
...
You have to be kidding me. Blends are purely and simply an excuse to put cheap, crappy grain whisky in to bulk out the product. They all taste essentially the same, and they're all terrible.
Got given a giant bottle of Black Label after a friend came through Duty Free, and whilst it was incredibly kind, we ended up throwing some of it away. Some of us happen to believe that delicious, smoke-laden island whiskies are undoubtedly the best, and find even the idea of a comparison with such swill slightly offensive...
Its all in your mind.
green label is vatted (a blend of single malts), not blended with grain whiskey...you are wrong
Yah Johnnie Walker is generally crap. I found this out the hard way after buying a blue label. Crap. Tried the Black, Green, and Red as well. Crap crap crap. Then I realized I just don't like blends. Give me my Glenlivet 40 year. I still have A LITTLE left in the bottle. Not much.
PS- If someone is looking for a tasty single malt try Deanston 12 year. Its around $35 for a bottle but don't let the price fool you. Its DAMN good.
I have some island single malt weed.
Does it detect date rape drugs? I'm afraid Justin McElroy is going to rape me. :(
95% johnnie walker, 5% rufie
100% good times
"Good News! Its a suppository!"
Surely what defines a poison when it comes to alcohol is surely up to debate?
And surely a rohypnol detector would be better(and probably sell relatily well)
Good news everyone!
I was also wondering what the detector considers "rot gut," since liquor preferences certainly vary from person to person. The fact that Taaka even exists is testament to this.
I'll see your scoffs, Engadget, and raise you the possibility that my 12 dollar serving of Don Julio Tres Generaciones on ice is in fact Montezuma Blue. And although I can tell just by tasting it once, I'd rather not. (If you've ever tasted Montezuma Blue, you'll understand, and I feel for you).
I'm happy with the $7 still in my pocket and sauza in mi estomago
Don't get me wrong, Seven for Sauza is an ok deal, as is five for patron, but that's the limit. After a while I got to the point where I was only drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon or top shelf Texas Teas (really just a long island iced tea), depending on how dive-y the bar is.
almost tricked me..
almost
Um guess what the fact that alcohol is a poison makes this all bogus
......choose your poison??
This is why Mad Eye Moody drank from his own hip flask!
but...but...mad eye was locked in chest!
He did it even before he got locked in the chest and the impersonator only mimicked him.
I hate each and every one of you
I'm sorry you have all these anger issues John.
mmm polyjuice..
You are my hero, good sir.
this will be only good for us moonshine drinkers to see if it's poison, other than that everything else is good to go in your belly.
Well, shit, now I need a freakin' drink!
My syntax was on vacation on that one :(
Not. Real.
FTFA: "This is a prototype still in the marketing phase."
Ah, the joys of the internet.
Now the marketing phase comes before the production phase (see also: Optimus Maximus keyboard)
@wolf ticket
http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/keyboards-mice/9836/
They usually have them in stock,first time I've seen them out.
"The design featured on the studio's website received attention on the web when it was featured on Slashdot on 14 July 2005, and afterwards for a few weeks on other technology websites. The original release date was "end of 2006", however production issues caused the Optimus mini three to be developed first, with the full keyboard delayed until the end of 2007. The keyboard was number 10 in the Wired Magazine 2006 Vaporware Awards[1] and number 4 on the list in 2007[2] due to its numerous delays and feature reductions."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optimus_Maximus_keyboard
This would come in handy in Russia. Some of the bars there mix some nasty stuff with their drinks, and it's not just a matter of taste...it's a matter of actually dying or losing your sight.
make it test for roofies and you have a win.
I don't mean to be funny here but isn't alcohol, by definition, a poison?
No, alcohol is not really a poison. If you want to get pedantic about it, it could be considered a toxin. (Created by a living thing.)
However, this is a silly argument to make, because water can fit the same definition, ie water intoxication.
Paracelsus had it right: "Everything is poison, there is poison in everything. Only the dose makes a thing not a poison."
Forget checking the alcohol! Someone needs to make a device that tells you whether the girl you are hitting while drunk on is a hottie, a fatty or a skank! Extra points for detecting VD.