UK ATMs use cockney slang, we don't Adam 'n Eve it

If you're trying to innovate and be more inclusive, it's fine to have a local dialect -- as ATMs run by Bank Machine are doing in East London over the next few months -- but for the love of uncle Fred, don't use a lingo associated with wide boys and notorious criminals. For our American audience, imagine your reaction if your ATM asked if you'd like to "withdrizzle yo' monizzle, homie." Of course, in a world that already includes a Cockney Bible (not a joke), this sort of thing seems positively tame, and it is after all just an option.

[Via Yahoo]

[mikepegg Posted Aug 25th 2009 9:10AM]

Agreed on the BBC English.

There is something to be said for speaking a language people can understand.

There are plenty of Scandinavian people who can speak clearer English than many native English speakers.

[(Unverified) Posted Aug 25th 2009 9:28AM]

Yeah, no kidding on that. I'm currently living in Belgium and it is amazing how much better some people's English is than native speakers.

[24hourpartypal Posted Aug 25th 2009 10:08AM]

What? Are you a robot? The english dialects are a part of the culture. Which is important too. Btw, I don't find all of the dialects hard to understand..

[(Unverified) Posted Aug 25th 2009 11:14AM]

"The english dialects are a part of the culture"

Not everything in our cultures are good and anything that represents a barrier to communication is something that falls into the "not good" category. I'm sorry that this may offend people, particularly those with a dialect singled out, but I don't think anyone can disagree with my point. If people can't understand what you are saying then that is not a good thing. However, humans seem to love forming little cliques and regional dialects enforce them.

[(Unverified) Posted Aug 25th 2009 5:45PM]

I'm all for communication, but I think you really are talking about accents/slang more than dialect. I'm from NYC, and I've been told that I have a thick accent by family in Tennessee/Texas, and my family in England could barely understand me. Meanwhile my parents and friends I grew up with are baffled, because they can understand me perfectly and don't even think I have an accent. That includes the slang/accent/tone I use. I am a huge advocate of embracing and protecting regional accents, because at the end of the day that's a part of who we are, and there's no reason to assimilate to the "norm" set up by the media.

Also, BBC had a program celebrating the languages/accents/dialects of their nation, and they've kept the related pages up so you can read/hear regional accents: http://www.bbc.co.uk/voices/

(And the FAQ regarding BBC English...from BBC's point of view): http://www.bbc.co.uk/voices/yourvoice/rpandbbc3.shtml#A

[Miral Posted Aug 25th 2009 8:14AM]

scouse isnt as bad as people think it is. they are actually understanable most of the time (apart from jamie carragher!). Anyway im from east london and although i know some cockney i have no clue what the hell any on this stuff means.

Only the old generation are going to know this and they're all going to have their own ''banks'' if they're true cockneys.

Out of all regional accents in the UK, cockney has got to be the best though. The brummie accent being the worst. Cant stand that crap.

[ThomasShaped Posted Aug 25th 2009 9:04AM]

Where's my lolcat ATM?

[(Unverified) Posted Aug 25th 2009 12:49PM]

I can haz checking balance?

[Eternal Density Posted Aug 25th 2009 8:45PM]

Visible Banc Balens!
Visible Paypa Banc Balens!
In Ur ATM, Changin Ur PIN.
I Can Has PIN unlok?
Gimmeh A Munneez.
Gimmeh A Munneez an Paypa.

[jalapeno Posted Aug 25th 2009 9:25AM]

I feel like I entered a parallel universe..what the heck are you brits talking about!! :)

[Dalhectar Posted Aug 25th 2009 9:37AM]

And they blame us Americans for destroying the English language...

[(Unverified) Posted Aug 25th 2009 5:36PM]

we canna destroy it, only evolve it... :p

[teh POD Posted Aug 25th 2009 9:40AM]

Hmmm, I see they omitted the "Feed me a stray cat" from the menu.

[Martin C Posted Aug 25th 2009 9:56AM]

I would always use the "shizzle nizzle" language if I had the option. I think it's hilarious.

[patches66 Posted Aug 25th 2009 10:12AM]

i'm not going to call it offensive, but the stereotyping about cocknies and african americans typically being criminals definitely adds nothing to this post.

[Nerdman Posted Aug 25th 2009 10:20AM]

Reminds me of Summer Glau impersonating Badger in Firefly... =P

[DariaMorgendorffer Posted Aug 25th 2009 11:26AM]

COR BLIMEY YORE OUTTA SAUCHIE GUVNOR

I am so waiting for the brummie "I-tee-oymm"

[vicdezen Posted Aug 25th 2009 11:37AM]

I think this would have made for an amazing April Fools Day joke. Can you imagine an entire line of ATMs offering their services in various types of slang?

[mithritades Posted Aug 25th 2009 12:14PM]

lmao,i always thought it was bangers and mash

but i do love when the chic on fifth gear call tiff a cheeky monkey

[jowie Posted Aug 28th 2009 5:56PM]

It's all gone a bit Pete Tong!