Here's a sure-fire way to get noticed: take an overly trite expression and apply it literally to your complaint. Case in point: Unlimited IT, so exasperated by South Africa's leading supplier of slow internet connectivity that it pitted a Telkom ADSL line against a real-live homing pigeon in a 60-mile data transmission race. The pigeon arrived with the 4GB memory stick in just over an hour with another hour required to load the data onto the computer. As for Telkom? Well, after 2 hours it had barely reached 4%. Point made.

[Thanks, Ugotamesij]