CE-Oh no he didn't! Part LXII: Steve Ballmer publicly ridicules Microsoft employee with iPhone, threatens to smash it
By Thomas Ricker 
posted Sep 11th 2009 6:08AM
posted Sep 11th 2009 6:08AM
Not every man was born with common sense. And anyone who's ever seen Steve Ballmer take a stage knows that you don't want to get in the way of the emotionally-charged big man when the curtain opens. So we're not terribly surprised to learn that Steve grabbed an iPhone he saw during his big entrance to a private Microsoft company meeting held at Seattle's Safeco Field. Apparently, the hapless employee (allegedly from the Windows group) was trying to snap a photo of his boss when Ballmer grabbed the device and made some "funny comments" met by boos and jeers from Microsoft's employees. Steve then set it on the ground and pretended to stomp on it before walking away -- later teasing the employee during his presentation by noting that he hadn't forgotten him. Good times, we're sure, and nothing rallies the troops like a common enemy... except perhaps the camaraderie that comes in knowing that you've created a game-changing device.
We even have a photograph from the actual iPhone supposedly snapped while Steve Ballmer was brandishing it overhead. We can't say for sure if it's real, in fact, that could be the guy from Lost. See it after the break.
We even have a photograph from the actual iPhone supposedly snapped while Steve Ballmer was brandishing it overhead. We can't say for sure if it's real, in fact, that could be the guy from Lost. See it after the break.
Seriously doesn't look like Ballmer at all..
Can't blame you for saying that and can't blame Balmer for doing that.
i can't let you do that, Star Fox.
Camera did a barrel roll.
Oh joy, another attack on Steve Balmer. And a new Photoshop job to boot! I dont think i've ever seen a normal picture of this guy on Engadget. We get it, you have some bizarre hate for this guy, and salivate at every opportunity to ridicule him.
While all of the loony stuff Steve Jobs does is filed under:
"Oh that's just the mad genius El Jobsie is known for! So when are we gonna get that iTablet! :)"
Steve Balmer sounds like a c*ck
If the iPhone had a good camera, you wouldn't be wondering who this is. Crappy camera for a sexy device. Like a beauty queen with gonorrhea.
looks like John Locke to me.
Engadget Spread Lies!!!!
.
A bit of a David Brent?
In this topic Thomas fails to realise that jabs at Steve Ballmer are no longer automatically funny because:
1. He's overseen the production of Microsoft's best OS ever. And if we're being honest it's the best commercial desktop ever.
2. Managed to make the Xbox 360 an extremely strong and established console despite a horrendous failure rate.
3. Avoided an unwise merger and got what he wanted for a fraction of the price.
4. Did a lot of behind the scenes work that made this possible.
You know, I like Ballmer - he's brash and in your face but he believes in what he does and has the guts to be passionate about it. I respect that.
As for those of you that call him 'stupid' just shut the fuck up. Brash? Yup. Passionate? Yup. Stupid? WTF?
Mmm, cheap shot.
@ ^^
Steve Ballmer is not just stupid, he's an idiot who happened to be in the right place at the right time. I wonder how you could possibly know that he "did a lot of behind the scenes work that made this possible", when practically every one of his appearances in public confirm his utter inability to do anything but act aggressively and show his failure to understand anything about the market.
Good points Mark Anderson. But you forget to mention:
1] Windows Vista
2] Zune
Yup. Ballman is the king! I think he's still smarting from his public prediction that the iPhone would tank. Genius he is!
This is one of those times were you don't know if your boss is having fun or really Pissed Off and using humor to cover it up. I've been in those meetings were your not quite sure if you should laugh or not, the result of which, every-time, is discomfort.
I'm sure that employee had a talk with his manager shortly after.
@ Mark Anderson
That great and all, but the POINT is. As a CEO of a major company like Microsoft, Ballmer has the responsibility of "acting" accordingly to the position he is in.
You can say he's "In you face" all you want, that doesn't change the fact that the "employee" who ever he was, has every right now to go to HR and fill a complain against Ballmer -- for "public humiliation of an employee, in a NON-work related incident -- during working hours, in front of the entire company."
AND the employee would WIN, because there's prove. And worst yet, Ballmer himself REPEAT his insults in a PUBLIC forum. And now the situation has made it onto the internet. Ballmer is not a Rock Star, so he doens't get to act like an immature brat. If Ballmer cannot control his own actions, then step down as boss. That is the point.
Ballmer presiding over successes doesn't mean jokes about him aren't funny anymore.
@Lake
The other Steve is buying organs effectively allowing a person without as much money to die, still parking in handicapped spots, approving advertisements with lies, selling devices with exploding batteries that have harmed people (why recall in one country, but not all?) taking pot shots at their competition that helped rescue them from bankruptcy (why not include MS in that "Other" group in his monopoly proving chart?), and so on, and so on, and so on...
But Ballmer needs to be held to a higher standard.
1. He's overseen the production of Microsoft's best OS ever. And if we're being honest it's the best commercial desktop ever.
Meh...not too sure about that. Yeah, it may be their best OS, but it's certainly not the best commercial desktop ever. I still find myself frustrated by the Windows experience. Having started on DOS, then moving to Windows, then Linux, then OS X, I would say the Gnome Desktop is most frustrating, followed by Vista, then 7, then XP, then OS X at the top. Not fanboism, just my opinion (I hate that I have to say that whenever speaking in favor of OS X). Granted, when you take software compatibility into account, the list gets re-ordered a bit, with OS X moving closer to the bottom, however we're talking about the desktop experience. Windows 7 is nice, but still more complicated than it needs to be.
2. Managed to make the Xbox 360 an extremely strong and established console despite a horrendous failure rate.
I'm still amazed by this. Granted, I've only had one RRoD in nearly 3 years, but I'm still scared every time I turn the thing on that my 360 will fail. Still, it's my favorite console, and will risk it Red Ringing over playing the same game on PS3. Having said that, I'm nearing the 3 year mark, so I may be a little less eager to risk failure once the warranty runs out. I think that when it comes to RRoD, MS should have made the warranty a lifetime one. They gain points for having the best warranty in the business, however they lose points for trying to get around that warranty by changing the symptom with the launch of NXE.
3. Avoided an unwise merger and got what he wanted for a fraction of the price.
No matter how you slice it, that was pretty smooth.
4. Did a lot of behind the scenes work that made this possible.
You know, I like Ballmer - he's brash and in your face but he believes in what he does and has the guts to be passionate about it. I respect that.
As for those of you that call him 'stupid' just shut the fuck up. Brash? Yup. Passionate? Yup. Stupid? WTF?
He's not stupid, I agree with you there. However, he does come off as unstable. It's possible to show your passion for a company without throwing chairs, turning red in the face and screaming at people. To me, that (and stunts like the one in the article) just shows instability. It shows stress. And it makes me wonder, "If that's how he is in public, what must life at the office be like?" It tells me that the pressure being put on MS by its competitors is getting to him. That's not something investors want to see. Also, I wonder about the wisdom in making the face of a company that makes enterprise software one of its priorities an unstable one.
And just so no one accuses me of being an apple fanboi just for saying something negative about MS, I'm not too thrilled with Apple lately. Their announcements are getting pretty bland, their new releases are ho-hum, and their hardware seems to be declining in quality. I think the biggest news at the latest event was Steve Jobs' appearance, not their products. And no matter how you slice that, it's a bad sign.
i prefer Steve "Donkey" Ballmer sense of humor than the now Steve "iMartyr" Jobs weakness
this is why steve ballmer is the man
It looks like the guy who sells Oreck vacuums, not ballmer.
@Mark Anderson
1. He's overseen the production of Microsoft's best OS ever. And if we're being honest it's the best commercial desktop ever.
Glossing over that he oversaw one of MS's WORST OSes first, but thankfully there were talented enough people under him to fix it.
2. Managed to make the Xbox 360 an extremely strong and established console despite a horrendous failure rate.
Because they've bled money in to it. And still are hemmoraging. I'm on my third console btw. First was 3 red rings, 2nd was a dead laser (after 2 weeks! and I barely played!), 3rd was no video. The only reason I hadn't moved on to PS3 yet was because MS ate the cost of the machines to make it cheaper, and sunk millions of dollars in to acquiring great studios like Bungie and Lionhead. (I'm still pissed about Bungie. I paid $500 years ago for a top-of-the-line All-In-Wonder expecting to play Halo 1 on PC... and then suddenly it was an Xbox Exclusive title after MS bought them up... by the time it came out on PC, my card was barely able to run it)
3. Avoided an unwise merger and got what he wanted for a fraction of the price.
What he should have wanted was to not be in that position in the first place. They could and should have had a huge lead in the internet market. Instead, with no vision of where things are headed in the future, he ended up playing catch up. But congrats on the non-merger, from being a distant third in the search engine market to a distant tied-for-second now.
4. Did a lot of behind the scenes work that made this possible.
He's a salesman. He's not a visionary, and should not be a CEO. The problem is MS has no idea where the markets are heading, and instead only play catch-up now. Billions of dollars buy some spiffy wheels to catch-up, but they haven't been innovators in a long long time, and the problem in their case starts right at the top.
So what? No-one gets it right all the time - part of being a good CEO is realising when things have ballsed up and fixing them. If you look at what Ballmer did with Microsoft's client division after Vista that would be obvious.
But, hey, don't let reality rain on your hate parade.
@monkeycrackers
"Glossing over that he oversaw one of MS's WORST OSes first, but thankfully there were talented enough people under him to fix it."
Maybe you've forgotten, but Vista was Allchin and Gates' last great masterpiece together. Ballmer was handed the reigns after Vista was pretty-much finalised.
Besides, as a Vista user, I can definitely say that it's quite a bit better than XP. :D
@Mark Anderson
I'll agree that Windows 7 finally gets some stuff right, but Balmer has been an abject failure since Bill Gates left.
- Balmer oversaw a disastrous 6 year period of stagnation resulting in Vista, the most despised windows version since ME.
- Balmer oversaw the first quarter in company history when they saw a negative increase in revenue
- Balmer oversaw a similarly long period of stagnation and decay of Microsoft's mobile platform --- it's primary progress being four name changes --- culminating in Windows Mobile 6 which still uses basically the same ancient non-accelerated GDI+ interface layer, Wince Kernel, and ARMv4 compiler target as devices from the PocketPC era.
OMG the iPhones camera is excellent.
I'll be sending you the bill for my replacement monitor. Pepsi is sticky on LCD screens.
mmmmmmmmmm pEPSI
Seems a bit blurry to me though...
As for the Donkey Kong thing . . .
Most. Disturbing. Photoshop. Ever.
@Smart People - thanks so much, the minute I saw the graphic, I hastily scrolled down, looking for that one comment you can always count on. Thank. You. For. Doing. It.
I have taken pictures with the Blackberry Tour and the iPhone 3Gs, and by far, the Tour takes much better pictures even though they are both 3 megapixels.
God you anti-Apple trolls aren't too bright. The phone was obviously in motion when the pic was taken, hence the resultant quality.
Sheesh!
The employee was taking pic of Balmer, pressed the "shoot" button, Balmar saw him with iphone, walked down to the employee, grabbed the phone, walked back stage, raised the iphone for everyone to see and begun to make some funny comments..
And only after all that did the iphone camera react and actually snapped the picture?
Excellent camera indeed...
Anyone consider this may be the iPhone or the iPhone 3G and not the 3GS with the much better camera? And the phone couldn't possibly be moving horrendously when the picture was shot...I swear most people look like idiots when they make smartass comments.
Wow, he just lost about infinity points in my book.
I would've asked to see the phone he uses. Odds are 9:1 that he'd whip out a Blackberry, Android, or iPhone himself. When I think about the many years I spent with WM, I shudder... ::shivers::
Ditto, and I developed for that platform. WinMo is pure cr@p.
Thankfully my crap WM phone allows me to stream my Slingbox over 3G and turn my phone's 3G signal into a portable wireless router as well as self replace my battery when it finally dies. "Outdated" would probably be a better term then "crap". All I can say is bring on WM7 with the Zune HD interface, which is probably the phone Ballmer uses.
WinMo isn't THAT bad... it's just outdated.
I've been using it for wifi checking email, msn, web surfing until my iPod Touch came along.
Maybe Ballmer should just make a device that is better than apple's and available on every network. At least google is trying - the crap coming out of Redmond is so lackluster. There is a reason Zune's market share is 1.1% - only haters bother with such an unfriendly piece of tech.
@digiboi
Yeah it's real friendly to be forced to use iTunes and not allowed to change my own battery.
I don't know, he just earned points in my book. That sounds pretty damn funny. I'd do the same thing if I was in his position. Sure WinMo is crap, but I think his joking around about smashing an employee's phone was funny.
@ Kali4,
are phillips screwdrivers illegal where you live?
@logicbomb.de
taken from Apple support discussion forums: "If an iPhone that is under warranty is opened by you or by a 3rd party, doing so will void the warranty"
No phone that I have ever owned has required the use of a tool to change the battery. On top of that, changing the battery did not void the warranty. Screwdivers are not illegal, and yes I *could* change the battery. But why would I void the warranty of an expensive piece of equipment before it expired on it's own? There is plenty of time for jailbreaking, hacking, and tweaking (all of which violates the EULA in case you forgot. Not that I agree with it, but that's the way it is.) after the warranty expires and you can't get it replaced for free.
@ Kali4,
If it's under warranty then Apple will replace the battery for you. But hey, don't let me stop you from bitching about a problem that doesn't actually exist.
@Ned Scott
Yeah, I should just mail off my phone and wait a couple weeks while they CHANGE THE GOD DAM BATTERY?
They'll do it at the Apple Store in a matter of minutes.
*Facepalm*
Facepalm? or Balmface!
i guess it could be ballmer... if it is him, the raised eyebrows/creased forehead and the angle make him look older.
also, going to that length isn't funny. i would have been funny if he just pointed it out, he didn't need to grab the phone from the guy. as the the fact that he was carrying an iphone, so what? i'd be willing to bet that a most MS employees get a WinMo work phone anyway; that iPhone was probably just the guy's personal device. although MS probably has rules against bringing personal devices in to work.
anway, back to work. man, all-nighters are fun!
perhaps they could spend a little less time photoshopping and a little more time spell checking and getting their facts straight...
actually forget all of that, just fix the comment system... that was supposed to go to the guy below me.
Tell me about it, if you reply to one person , then go to reply to another, you have to hit reply twice on that post, or the "reply to xxxxxx" wont show up in the entry box. Come on Engadget
No, it IS funny. That's why it's posted here with a funny DK image, and why people are laughing.
engadget's photoshop's are getting better every day. +1000 points thomas
I would love to see a post collecting all the best Engadget photoshops into one post. Maybe with an AJAX gallery. It could be like, you know, a Photoshop Battle . . . modo.
Good God, that picture startled me.
Good thing the employee didn't have an apple pacemaker.
The battery in that pacemaker might spontaneous blow up..........in his chest.
I'd love to see Indiana Jones replayed by Ballmer.
If Steve Jobs would have done something like this you would write about how you were worried about his health, and that he must be exhausted for going through a tough period, or some other bullshit. If Steve Ballmer does it however, you point at him and laugh at how stupid he is. I am sure that the iphone also contributes.
That's the whole point, buddy. No one but Ballmer would pull such a stupid trick off...
Yes... Jobs would just quietly fire the poor guy on the spot. Word from Apple insiders has it that Steve-O typically is a very nasty tyrant towards his employees.
"If Steve Jobs would have done something like this you would write about how you were worried about his health, and that he must be exhausted for going through a tough period, or some other bullshit. If Steve Ballmer does it however, you point at him and laugh at how stupid he is. I am sure that the iphone also contributes."
And this was low-ranked? It's the truth!
Hell, they were even debating whether to keep Job's health issues secret as so not to hurt his feelings... or heaven help us, to protect Apple's stock.
Good lord, this guy cannot even wake up in the morning without some tech blog trying to rake him over the coals for any and everything he says or does.
this was lowest ranked like an hour ago... talk about a bi-polar audience
p.s. i upranked you though, ark :)
Only in your head, bub.
"this was lowest ranked like an hour ago... talk about a bi-polar audience"
I guess all the mac-users fail to comprehend what happens to comments when they get pushed off the first page.
[/unfounded hate]
@ JT
I would do it, and I would do it for fun. Ofcourse, it would be planned. I wouldn't just randomly take a employee's iPhone or else I'd have to deal with lawyers, and though I thought about becoming one I decided that they give me so many headaches. So, set it up as a PR stunt but make it as realistic as possible. Fire up everyone by being cocky (and/or) egocentric, but have intelligence and grace behind the scenes.
I had a friend that did some marketing for microsoft and got to meet Ballmer while walking in the building, and supposedly ballmer is actually pretty cool, and very smart.
That image: What has science done?
Donkey Kong Ballmer is epic.
News Flash....Steve Ballmer has a wacky and sometimes tacky sense of humor.
Back to you in the studio, Liz.
Just like any other news outlet, Engadget has to sensationalize the content and entertain us.
Everyone has had or will have a boss who is a complete tool who doesn't think before they react.
Funny photo though, not sure why the logo on the tie wasn't changed to SB though.
Tacky or tasteless?
Would you expect that Apple promote the use of Microsoft products to employees???
Shhhh, Apple is currently busy trying to figure out how to stick a video cam on Jobs' ass
Sure why not, since Apple is a hardware company and MS is a software company. A software company that has a division dedicated to make software for Apple hardware and licenses activesync/exchange connectivity on the very phone he was ridiculing the employee for having.
Corey, don't Apple also make and market software such as Snow Leopard, iLife, etc?? They have just as much interest and investment in similar markets as Microsoft and definitely see them as a major competitor, so I'm sure the feelings between each organisation are mutual. It's just natural business competition that exists everywhere and this article is really nothing new nor sensational.
Ballmer won't praise Apple any sooner than Jobs will praise Microsoft.
Would you expect that Apple promote the use of Microsoft products to employees???"
Nope. They just get on stage and openly ridicule their competition. And they aren't joking when they do it.
"CE-Oh no he didn't" and Apple, I dont think, have ever appeared in the same sentence.
Well, given that Apple tends to invite presentations from Microsoft's Macintosh Business Unit at their events, I don't think they have a problem if people choose to use a Macintosh to run Microsoft's software.
I don't see why Apple would have such an issue with employee's running Microsoft software. Hell they told the world to run Windows on a Mac if they weren't quite ready to completely transition over. As long as they are running Microsoft software on a Apple computer, Jobs and Co could care less. They know where they are making their money and its not through retail sales of OSX or iLife.
@Kelmon: Right, but what if they were using a WinMo phone?
@CoreyJF
Could you do me a favor and remind me what hardware Apple actually manufactures? To the best of my knowledge they are an assembly plant. They don't make the HDs, processors, RAM, screens, monitors, or anything else that is designed to run software. They don't even bother to license custom parts that are not available to the general public anymore. I guess all that leaves is the boxes they bolt all the parts into. Last I checked there were not any PC case manufacters trying to claim that they were a hardware manufacturer unless they built their own power supplies. Apple doesn't make those either.
Steve Jobs says Apple is a software company. I guess that doesn't matter.
@minimalist360
The hardware manucfacturer status is what Apple has been standing behind to prevent companies like Psystar (sp?) from creating a Mac clone. See Apple argues that OSX is designed to run Apples hardware, since hardware is useless without software to run it. And if another company gets OSX running on non-Apple hardware they had to alter the OSX code. In Apples argument the software is created to support thier Mac hardware, even though the software can be purchased as a stand alone product. If one was to purchase said stand alone product, it would be illegal (through violation of the EULA and enforcable by law) to attempt to install it on any hardware other than Apples. This is a completely falacious argument since Apple no longer uses propietary hardware.
he should have used his new nano's video camera instead...hehehe
Love the photo, but whats with the grammar?
"later teasing the employee later"
No Steve don't do this! It's suchs a "Great Gaming Machine"!
No it's not. you've mistaken it with another machine.
No, it isn't. It HAS a camera!
The proper answer would have been:
"How about building something to replace it then? Oh wait, we tried ... can't get a Windows Mobile to be usable to save our lives. Entirely my fault."
Did you miss that part where Microsoft's next big mobile OS will come out next year and nobody really knows that much about it but according to you it will be unusable.
@poke: Ooo, next year?! Wow, that's only...3 years behind the crowd *whistles*
@ Tom
Kind of like putting a radio in an iPod eh?
@Neal
The lack of a radio in the iPod obviously didn't stop many people from buying one (~75% market share). The general crappiness of WinMo clearly has kept people from buying phones with it. Being late on a small feature isn't the same as being late on all around quality and value.
I laugh when people make uneducated comments like that. Doesn't anyone pay attention to how Microsoft operates?
First XBox: Mildly entertaining.
Second XBox: Sony killer (thus far anyhow).
HD-DVD: A ruse.
Netflix in XBOX360: Sony killer.
First Zune: Ok.
ZuneHD: Looks amazing.
Live Search: Ok.
Bing: Yahoo killer (don't forget that Microsoft was #3 behind Yahoo and Google. Their only goal for now is to finish off Y!)
First WinMo: Adequate.
WinMo 6.x: Much better
WinMo 7: Apple and BB Killer (I hope so)
They sit back and let everyone else figure out the market and many of the base details, then swoop in with their piles of cash and release a product that is generations ahead of everyone else.
Big deal. Sounds like Ballmer was joking around. What makes the iPhone such a solemn and sacred subject that it can't be the subject of humor? You act like Ballmer made an inappropriate comment about the employee's family or some such thing. Your post and photoshop efforts are more tacty than Ballmer's antics. Fanboy.
I believe you've missed the point. It's perfectly fine to make fun of a competitor's product, especially in front of your troops. However, to GRAB it out of one's hands and pretend to smash it is never a good idea. Imagine you work for Ford and your boss carjacks you and pretends to crash your BMW? Not so fun, eh?
Nail on head.
SB has stated in public that his family is banned from using Apple products, what makes you think he'd be any different towards MS employees?
If I were the employee I'd not fret about it, it's balmer humor, they know balmer.
Oh and incidentally microsoft doesn't make cellphones so it's not competition.