Caption contest: Big Four's CEOs finally united by a very large check
By Chris Ziegler 
posted Oct 7th 2009 10:29PM
posted Oct 7th 2009 10:29PM
Chris: "Dan, seriously, will you come off the stilts for 20 seconds?"
Nilay: "One Economy will of course have to pay a $40,000 activation fee."
Joe: "Not to be outdone, Boost Mobile extends One Economy a gift certificate for one free Kid Cudi ringtone."
Josh T.: "Here, enjoy 0.1 percent of our collective salary."
Richard: "Do you think they're standing in order of who has the most bars?"
"money!money!money! what? a donation?, ahh shit"
To put it into perspective, AT&T made $12.9 BILLION profit last year. They wouldn't even notice. Even the CEO earns $10mil a year.
I just threw up a little. Thanks Matt.
Just for the sake of Culture:
One Economy Corporation is a global nonprofit organization that uses innovative approaches to deliver the power of technology and information to low-income people, giving them valuable tools for building better lives.
We help bring broadband into the homes of low-income people, employ youth to train their community members to use technology effectively, and provide public-purpose media properties that offer a wealth of information on education, jobs, health care and other vital issues.
Our mission is to maximize the potential of technology to help low-income people improve their lives and enter the economic mainstream.
http://www.one-economy.com/company
So in other words, this "donation" is actually a growth investment in future mobile customers that normally wouldn't know how to use or be able to afford a smartphone.
No, what they're saying is… "If we would have been around before 1990, we'd have made sure low income families had current text books."
So in the end, they're donating one MILLION dollars (pinky to mouth) to themselves?
..........so last CEO standing wins the big check, right?
where is metro's CEO????....strip club?
Only CEO's from companies that own their own towers are allowed to touch the check. :P
If that were the case then T-Mobile wouldn't be touching it seeing as how they use Sprints satellites.
@Hgaara - Say what 0.o?
is that where the "Administrative Fee" on my bill goes to?
What the CEO's collect their pocket change back stage and round to the nearest million?
That is kinda cool to see them all together like that, I didn't know Dan was either really tall or all the others are just really short.
I'm of average height and yet my iPhone has been dropping calls left and right this past week. Service sucks more than ever before. I wonder how Ralph pulls it off; his reception doesn't look too good down there.
That's cool. Maybe one of them can explain what justification they use to charge $100+ per month for phone/data/text services. Oh, and a word on bandwidth caps would be great, too. Oh x 2, why do all our phones suck?
Seriously, I have a lot of questions for them.
Actually, you'd only have to ask one of them that question.
Collusion FTW.
Hey buddy let go.. it's MINE!
That Kid Cudi/Boost Mobile jab was pretty funny.
"Now, let's talk about that One Economy app"
I heard Steve Jobs was itching to get into the stage... someone he feels he is the CEO of AT&T.....
Is your Map bigger than mine?
What? I can't hear you?
Nope, I can't hear you now!
Oh the irony..... Apples are red, Verizon is too, yet the iPhone is not for you.
Well there goes the economy, in one big check.
"Can you respect me now? Good!"
/serious faces in greed mood
serious faces in greed mode
/serious faces in greed mode
"We present you this 1 million dollar check. It is locked to chase bank so you may not deposit it anywhere else. You have 30 days from the receipt of your check to do so or it is void. If the check gets water damage from the rain or physically damaged it is void. This does not reflect the true value of the check as taxes and hidden fees will be deducted after deposit. You must sign a 2 year contract with each of us to distribute our 3.5G broadband cells to those low income people. Other restrictions may apply. Please see opposite side for details. Verizon, AT&T, T-Mobile and Sprint are not responsible for any recurring charges to your account for going overdrawn."
is it common to spell "cents" as "/100" ?
Yes.
Very.
The word to the right of the line is "dollars". If you put "One Million & 0 cents" on the line, it reads, "One Million & 0 cents dollars," which doesn't make much sense.
It's called a fraction.
............. have you... NEVER... seen/written a check before?
"Nice! What is this? Velvet?"
Try taking this from our collective kungfu grip...
"One Carrier to Rule Them All"
"NOOOOO," said Frodo
"I'll save you Mr. Frodo for I am Samwise Gamgee," said Sam
Here's your check for a million bucks as promised...as long as you sign up for a new 2-year contract of course.
"Last CEO with his hand on the check win. Ready, get set. g- Wait a second. AT&T seems to have dropped the check already."
If Robert Dotson stood on the left side, then Ralph de la Vega could've used this in an AT&T commercial.
**Fade in of blue rising bars over the men** "More bars in more places"
Don't you think we should ask for more than a million dollars? A million dollars isn't exactly a lot of money these days.
caption, "You mean this isn't how our admin. assist. secratarys pay bills??¨
They got the zeros wrong on that cheque, it should be a Billion. I'm sure of this, and not the peanuts that it is
who wants to tell the workers they dont get paid this year ? .... not it ...... not it...... not it...... not it...... not it...... not it.......... crap!
Why is Dan Hesse holding the check tighter than everybody else? And why is he sweating like that?!
Shouldn't we all be standing over our own logos? We don't want people to actually think we like each other...
lol the guy on the left "hey hey hey wait up guys!!!! i only have 2 fingers touching the check *sadface* man..i feel so left out with this BROWN blazer..."
Big Four?
Deloitte, Ernst & Young, PwC, KPMG?
You sir deserve a one up for knowing things that engadget doesn't.
Where all of the "missing" rebate checks went to...