Large Hadron Collider staying cool at just a hair above absolute zero temperatures
By Ross Miller 
posted October 16th 2009 9:29PM
posted October 16th 2009 9:29PM
Ah, Large Hadron Collider, our old frienemy, how close is thy doomsday clock now? Closer than it was last week, naturally, especially now that the temperature in each of its eight sectors has been dropped to 1.9 Kelvin, or -271 degrees Celsius / -456 Fahrenheit, depending on your equivalent measurement of choice. While pretty much lethal for humans, that's still twice as warm as the Boomerang Nebula some 5,000 light years away from our fair planet, making it a veritable vacation spot for those carnivorous inhabitants of the Centaurus constellation (not that they'd really want to make that big of a trek without some sort of pre-planned hotel accommodations, but we digress). The chill is all a part of the massive science experiment's ramp up to its second half of November relaunch -- assuming the personification of Higgs boson doesn't pop in via its proverbial TARDIS equivalent wearing a cape and carrying an anti-LHC particle gun, that is.
what did you do to that polar bear cub to make him pee blood you monsters!
Polar bears eat everything in their path, piss blood, crap souls, and vomit faith.
We need creatures like that guarding the Hadron Collider in the event we find ourselves dealing with an incident like what happened in the Mist. Polar Bears are our only defense against unexpected guests from other dimensions. You can obtain this information when you read the Berenstein Bears books in reverse like my parents did for me every night before bed time.
You'd piss blood too if you were exposed to the radiation emitted by 7 TeV ultra high-energy particle collisions.
he just needs some chipotlaway
Berenstain Bears!!! Dude, I had almost all of the books as a young lad! Could read the same one over and over again. Ah the simple days.
Its not blood fool, its love. Hes a Carebear!
No shave november. Beards are proven to increase chances of survival in black holes.
In Australia, we call it Mo-vember
hell yeah! wait I already have one >.>
Gordon Freeman already proved that.
Just don't cross the streams. It would be bad.
Hard to not cross the streams considering its one big circle.
And thats what its designed to do. Fire particles at each other.
I think someone failed at getting a joke.
Kris120890 got the joke, he just made another joke. It's kinda subtle, but I like it.
That's why there's fire extinguishers.....
Do fire extinguishers even work near absolute zero???
The LHC hasn't been at 1.9 for the last few months, so thats a bit of a moot point. But no, they don't, unless it's a Hydrogen or Helium Extinguisher.
Our relaunch if impending doom.
I kid I kid.
I've have a feeling that its going to break again just in a different place instead.
if these people have a sense or humor (surely not), they would have the "welcome to your doom" altered beast sound clip play upon startup of this thing.
so when is the LHC going to actually do some hardcore scientific work?
In the next 12 months as long as it stops coming back in time to destroy it self.
December 21, 2012.
The day before Duke Nukem Forever comes out.
Well the scientists may all be sucked into a black hole before they can figure out what happened, so possibly never.
ha, first glance i thougt it read "Large Hardon" yikes!
That's funny, yesterday someone said "hard on" and it made me think of "hadron".
Why were you talking about hard-on's?
...because hardon is just a funny word. kinda like censoring yourself and saying d-bag. or calling someone a butthole.
Ice cream anyone?
Lol at the Doctor Who reference :)
Higgs boson is wibbley-wobbly timey-wimey.
Yeah Doctor who comment was a nice touch.
In the series Lexx, the series finale, the higgs boson destroys the planet earth.
Nature has not made her last attempt at stopping the Higgs boson ...there will be more High Weirdness.
I eagerly look forward to the next round of drama from ignorant plebeians wanting to shut down the doomsday machine. . .er, I mean Hardon collider, er, I mean Hadron collider.
Uhh...
I never heard of the Boomerang nebula, so I googled it.
It looks like this is actually just as cold as the boomerang nebula a 1K.
... Still very effin cold.
I was going to call them on it, because it makes no sense for it to be WARMER than any natural object in Space, given the 3ºK background radiation temperature, but apparently the Boomerang Nebula is an exception. Go know?!
I still think its say Large HARDON Collider, hehehe.
In Australia, we call it Mo-vember.
Celsius for the world!
Your avatar made me lol, +1.
@above:
I'm pretty sure you were rofling, not loling.
Huzzah!
Pretty sure Tesla had a pocket watch or something that did this.
I really missed these posts... Although I was a little disappointed that I didn't see Gordon Freeman anywhere....
2013 will come.
Why is absolute zero so elusive? Is it like infinity, never to be reached? Surely there must be a way or location in the universe where there is absolutely no molecular/atomic movement.
If there is such a place in the universe, it can never be traveled to, because the instant something enters it, by definition it will cease to exist.
If it was known that a particle was in a motionless state then it's uncertainty in position would be infinite.
i thought i would share this comment from slashdot by David Gerard
The Large Hardon Collider [today.com] is designed to pump various types of hardon up to huge energies before banging them together. However, many concerned citizens without the personal experience or understanding of what hardons do worry at the idea of the large hardons being sucked deep into a black hole.
The device will push large, energised hardons through a ring repeatedly, faster and faster, as smoothly and tightly as possible, until they clash and spray matter in all directions. “It’s nothing that cosmic rays don’t do all the time all over the place,” reassured a particularly buff scientist. “It’s perfectly right and natural.”
Low-energy hardon physics and the temperature dependence of hardon production are well understood, as is the process of a hardon smoothly entering the nucleus. But some question what may happen at greater, hotter energies.
Church leaders have come out at the device. “They’re the same polarity!” said Pope Palpatine XVI. The Church worries that strange matter may recruit normal matter and turn it strange.
The Large Hardon Collider was to launch last September, but this has been delayed due to inexplicable and ill-timed failure to get a beam up. “I’m so sorry,” stammered a scientist, “this has never happened to us before.”
BEST - PARODY - EVER!
I lol'd maniacally ^_^
I wish we could vote more than once — I'd uprank you several times if I could. :)