There are three things in this crazy world that scare the living daylights out of us: poor battery life, scratched screens, and seven-foot tall she-bots wielding Pres like concealed weapons. This, it seems, was the nightmarish scenario facing Madrid as it launched Palm's first webOS-based phone this week.

Chris: "I'm being treated well, but please, it's imperative that you buy this phone as expediently as possible."
Richard Lai: "My other toy is the Pre."
Ross: "It says if we don't do exactly as it commands, the Spiders from Mars will return and destroy us all."
Darren: "Geordi La Forge and I are like this."
Josh T.: "So far they have treated me well, but I fear that could change at any moment. If you comply with their demand for 300 pairs of leather pants, they say I will be released unharmed."
Thomas: "Sir, I assure you, this is exactly how they do it in America."