Headtime scalp massager massages scalps, blows minds

Say what you will, but we love the idea of having a tireless automaton massaging our overworked noggins. And, since human slavery was outlawed a good while ago, our only choice left is modern technology. Enter the Headtime scalp massager, produced by Kinatech. This outsized helmet has an array of 29 silicone balls for acupressure and 34 ceramic ones for... well, we don't actually know. There's an internal speaker with the soothing sounds of nature, as well as a temperature controller, which suggests this bad boy could serve as a pretty awesome cranium heater as well. Do yourself a favor and check out the rather threatening looking inside of the helmet after the break.

[shompol Posted Nov 16th 2009 9:51AM]

bad news, comrade! You will need yours to be checked out by a doctor. Don't think there is a cure though.

[(Unverified) Posted Nov 16th 2009 9:55AM]

Her wedding band looks fake...is she available? I'd massage her cranium any day.

[cobaltage Posted Nov 16th 2009 10:01AM]

I think it has something to do with the urethra-like design element on the front of the helmet.

[symmetryx Posted Nov 16th 2009 10:21AM]

Looks like exactly what you'd wear when you have a cup of tea in Teletubby land.

I mean, that's where she is in that picture, right?

[eKalb Posted Nov 16th 2009 10:31AM]

Does it come in white with red spots?

[(Unverified) Posted Nov 16th 2009 10:36AM]

It looks like something from Total Recall...

Quaid: If things have gone wrong, I'm talking to myself, and you've got a wet towel wrapped around your head.

[Gazoobee Posted Nov 16th 2009 10:44AM]

"Cranium heater"???
You do know that if your brain heats up by even four or five degrees, that you *die* right?

The "temperature controller" is likely in there to keep things cool so the massage-ees don't die and sue the company.

[Tukachinchilla Posted Nov 16th 2009 10:58AM]

I'm having a Spaceballs flashback!!

"No, yes, no, yes, yes, no, no, ah, oh, oh, oh, ah, ohh, oh, you're helmet is so big!"

[Smart People Play Tuba Posted Nov 16th 2009 11:00AM]

I'm with Level 5. If you wear this on your head, someone is bound to call you a d***head.

It's just too easy.

[kibbledbits Posted Nov 16th 2009 11:06AM]

if this feels anything like getting my hair washed by at the salon then count me in for one

[Anticrawl Posted Nov 16th 2009 11:26AM]

No question man, it ought to be considered prostition with how awesome it feels.

[Anticrawl Posted Nov 16th 2009 11:34AM]

Prostitution* On my phone here bleh.

[Anticrawl Posted Nov 16th 2009 11:24AM]

HOW MUCH

[Sonic4anarchy Posted Nov 16th 2009 11:36AM]

Excuse me for miss responding on the wrong comment, the previous reply was for the comment below by user Hank.

[StrikeFear13 Posted Nov 16th 2009 11:48AM]

*massages scalps, blows minds, doubles as Toad cosplay.

[(Unverified) Posted Nov 16th 2009 12:10PM]

The website is weird: http://www.headtime.co.kr/

All the models are white and blond, but the site is in Korean.

[glennS Posted Nov 16th 2009 1:04PM]

With slight modifications...orgasmatron. (obscure Woody Allen reference)

[glennS Posted Nov 16th 2009 1:07PM]

With slight modifications...orgasmatron. (obscure Woody Allen reference)

[glennS Posted Nov 16th 2009 1:08PM]

Sorry. Double post due to a connection hick-up/browser could not load page error.

[(Unverified) Posted Nov 16th 2009 1:36PM]

I'll take my chances with the headcrab.

[nyooman Posted Nov 16th 2009 1:55PM]

"Now this is something, Bob, you don't ever wanna do."

"Right now Headtime is heating my skull up to a scorching 450 degrees. It's like getting a scalp massage...from Lucifer."

[Seoul Brother Posted Nov 16th 2009 3:54PM]

If you want the robo-mohel to do the bris, does that cost extra?

[Morgon Posted Nov 16th 2009 3:59PM]

Regarding price, I navigated my way through their site enough to see that it's about $390:
http://www.talmo.com/home/shop/item.php?it_id=1244439915

According to Google, 448,000 Won is $388.86.

The scariest part is that if you check the site, there's some sort of product that you have to apply before using the Headtime. According to Babelfish's rough translation, it's 150 ml of 'dehairing prevention'.

[(Unverified) Posted Nov 16th 2009 4:34PM]

Where does the lemon attach to the helmet?

[(Unverified) Posted Nov 16th 2009 4:19PM]

If this were a Hulu product, I'd be VERY suspicious...

[(Unverified) Posted Nov 16th 2009 5:26PM]

I think you guys are all nuts. It looks awesome. How relaxing and wonderful. I want one.

[SteveG Posted Nov 16th 2009 5:18PM]

Oh boy! Brain cancer!

[rekkid Posted Nov 16th 2009 5:51PM]

Looks like Mr. Smithers is out of a job

[p60091 Posted Nov 16th 2009 5:57PM]

It did remind of this Seinfeld episode.

http://www.tvsquad.com/2006/07/26/seinfeld-the-nose-job/

[(Unverified) Posted Nov 16th 2009 7:18PM]

This is the second time in one day one of your columnists have called a gadget a "bad boy".

[(Unverified) Posted Nov 17th 2009 5:01AM]

I reckon they should have a headcrab cover, dangly legs and all. Then I'd buy it.