Large Hadron Collider is online, Higgs boson be damned

"We have captured it! First circulating beam of 2009!" And with that tweet, researchers at CERN announced that they did in fact activate the Large Hadron Collider, after quite a long delay and despite warnings of a looming, nefarious Higgs boson. Whether or not we will have had total destruction as an unfortunate result of the device remains to be seen, but should the future find a way to either cease to exist or travel to the past in some time-bending paradox, we only hope linguists and physicists can work together and figure out the proper verb conjugations for this brave new world.

[wack Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:29PM]

just as long as they stay away from that dan brown antimatter shit

[Padilla7921 Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:31PM]

You know not what you say.

[Yan Posted Nov 20th 2009 8:22PM]

Vatican's on high alert.

[NikAmi Posted Nov 20th 2009 10:28PM]

Yeah, and you just know that one of those idiots will claim to see Jesus in an electron.

[kdilkington Posted Nov 21st 2009 3:20AM]

just as long as they stay away from that dan brown shit

FTFY

[Fanman Posted Nov 21st 2009 8:06AM]

Ewan Mcgregor is in trouble.

[thanatos465 Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:29PM]

the end of the world is near

[R V Posted Nov 20th 2009 8:42PM]

"This comment has been down-ranked into oblivion."
Lol

[DoctorG Posted Nov 20th 2009 9:46PM]

Comment: epic fail.
Comment system: epic win!

[thanatos465 Posted Nov 21st 2009 7:27PM]

it was a joke but whatever, getting butthurt on engadget....sad

[smi1ey Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:29PM]

BOOM.

[smi1ey Posted Nov 21st 2009 6:17PM]

why the hell was this comment "downranked to oblivion"? sheesh, commenters on here need to learn to take a joke.

[CaramelZappa Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:30PM]

I've got my crowbar ready.

[darthnazgul Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:37PM]

I don't :(
*sigh* better stop by Wal-Mart and pick one up...

[MeisterDon Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:53PM]

Don't forget your orange suit!

[apolloa Posted Nov 20th 2009 8:36PM]

Gravity gun all the way....

[br4nd0nh347 Posted Nov 20th 2009 10:42PM]

and your MIT education.

[WinRulez Posted Nov 21st 2009 12:53AM]

"Throwing that switch and all, I can see your MIT education really pays for itself"

heck, I still use that red crowbar in years, and still need it for more years later.

[thealbion Posted Nov 21st 2009 12:56AM]

best comment ever see you in city 17 :)

[(Unverified) Posted Nov 21st 2009 2:37AM]

Pfft, screw that. I'll be working for Aperture Science!

[benjgvps Posted Nov 21st 2009 12:08PM]

Awww! I was hoping Valve would come out with HL2:Episode 3 by now!

[doug Posted Nov 21st 2009 6:11PM]

crowbar? pfft...apparently all we need is a fire extinguisher to fight off the end of the world

[CaramelZappa Posted Nov 21st 2009 11:05PM]

I'm guessing you've never played Half-Life, then.

[jivephish Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:31PM]

damn, end of the world, Duke Nukum Forever will NEVER come out now... :\

[Speedracer98 Posted Nov 21st 2009 7:58AM]

no that will happen when hell freezes over. it just so happens that we will all be dead by then anyway.

[Bud92 Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:31PM]

I was excited when it first came online, now I'm just like blah we I hear news about it.

[MisfitOfScience Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:33PM]

Effects preceding causes is not a paradox at the quantum level. Happens all the time, as a matter of fact.

[Tense Posted Nov 20th 2009 10:17PM]

Would you please provide some evidence to this "fact" statement that you enlightened us with?

Did you also know all the remaining wild unicorns were killed during the beach landings at Normandy during WWII, as a matter of fact.

[MisfitOfScience Posted Nov 20th 2009 10:35PM]

You seem to be under the misapprehension that this is a matter of pseudoscience. It is, in fact, an widely acknowledge consequence of the standard model of particle physics, which is one of the most fantastically empirically supported scientific theories in history.

[Alexicov Posted Nov 20th 2009 11:04PM]

I'm a physicist and I haven't heard of any causality violation. Please don't just throw big words around without any substance. It implies that you saw someone on the internet explain to you how Quantum mechanics works.

[MisfitOfScience Posted Nov 20th 2009 11:16PM]

I cannot imagine how a physicist can possibly not have heard of "causality violation". And I'm searching, and searching, for "big words" in my comments, and finding none, unless you are a physicist who thinks that "quantum' is jargon.

[MisfitOfScience Posted Nov 20th 2009 11:19PM]

I mean, really, you'd have to have never seriously encountered Copenhagen at all.

[outphase84 Posted Nov 20th 2009 11:58PM]

http://bit.ly/4yWbtv
http://bit.ly/4TwGh0

Dude's right, this is old news.

[dallashigh Posted Nov 21st 2009 12:55AM]

"While a few legitimate scientific theories have also proposed limited forms of retrocausality, no experimental observations have been reliably reported that verify such hypotheses."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retrocausality

[jepzilla Posted Nov 21st 2009 1:10AM]

If you were actually a physicist, you'd know that under quantum mechanics, time evolution is bidirectional.

[csnoke Posted Nov 21st 2009 10:55AM]

Mmmm... bidirectional. Time evolution sounds sexy.

[Alexicov Posted Nov 21st 2009 12:37PM]

from http://bit.ly/4yWbtv
" None of the laws of fundamental physics, classical or quantum, forbid travel back in time. In fact they do not even distinguish backward from forward. "

Second law of thermodynamics. The total entropy of a system and surroundings always increases as it evolves with time. True in quantum and classical systems. QED

[Samurai Jack Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:35PM]

Wouldn't that be the future passive periphrastic tense? It would seem to perfectly encapsulate all of your fears surrounding the Higgs Boson one day. Or once upon a time.

[NeoJew Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:36PM]

FINALLY!

[The Real Alex Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:44PM]

Woot!

[Leo Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:37PM]

It works!

[Condiment Posted Nov 21st 2009 1:50AM]

LOL.

Doc: It works?! It works! I finally invent something that works!

[JimRomeDoesntLikeBonerInSweatPan Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:43PM]

New World Order????

[Neros Fiddle Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:43PM]

Mr. Sulu, bring us about!

[Putzy Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:43PM]

Does this mean they can go back in time and back up my sidekick data?

[Charbax Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:46PM]

Yes soon. As soon as they find the Boson and use the scientific data to create a time machine, a space traveler and a matter generator.

[apolloa Posted Nov 20th 2009 8:38PM]

I'm so sorry to laugh at your expense but your comment is damn funny.... hahaha

[octoberasian Posted Nov 20th 2009 9:27PM]

Yeah that was good comment! LOL

[SEPURB Posted Nov 21st 2009 3:03AM]

LMAO! I'm planning on getting a Sidekick also, maybe it can bring back some of my Voicestream/Powertel messages lol.

[BrentSchmidt Posted Nov 20th 2009 7:45PM]

D. Gibbons is a bad man.