Verizon ad confirms Droid is a not-quite pretty 'racehorse duct taped to a Scud missile'

There's something peculiar about Verizon's latest addition to its promotional Droid onslaught. Sure, we get the expected Mad Libs-esque hyperboles like "it rips through the web like a circular saw through a ripe banana," but other nods seem to indicate an acknowledgement that, well, it's not the prettiest of flagship phone princesses. "Should [a phone be] be a tiara-wearing digitally clueless beauty pageant queen?" (Wonder who that's a reference to.) Listen Verizon, trading "hairdo for can do" is great and all, but why can't we simply have both brains and beauty? Still, it's nice to know the fighting words haven't all but left the industry. See the ad for yourself after the break.

[Thanks to everyone who sent this in]

[yulebellow Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:12PM]

I think taping a horse to a missile wouldn't be helpful to anyone

[JXCGunrunna Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:21PM]

@(Unverified) If Christopher Reeves were still alive he would argue that point to the death.

[Why should I have all the fun Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:40PM]

@(Unverified)

Ahhh but how useful would a missile taped to a horse be? Sounds like a Mythbusters episode to me.

[EGOvoruhk Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:41PM]

It may not be helpful, but it sure would be awesome!

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 3rd 2009 11:24PM]

@(Unverified) Except maybe for a mythbusters ep. They clearly have the budget now (have you been watching the new season?).

Hear that Adam Savage? Horse + rocket & Saw + banana = next ep.

[Precision Posted Dec 4th 2009 12:31AM]

@(Unverified) atleast that way you know, that if the rocket hits the ground, it hits the ground running... get it..

ok ok stop, don't shoot me.. ^^

[tay Posted Dec 4th 2009 11:51AM]

@(Unverified)

I respectfully request to agree to disagree.

[theoneandonlyradiostation Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:15PM]

I like it!

[El Jefe Posted Dec 3rd 2009 10:25PM]

@theoneandonlyradiostation
wait, didn't the hairdo phone load webpages faster than the droid?
ie. like a hydraulic saw through a ripe banana?

[MowDownJoe Posted Dec 3rd 2009 10:47PM]

@El Jefe
*looks at Engadget's review* Only slightly faster. Like, 1 second difference. I personally, have no problem waiting an extra second.

[Marilyn Posted Dec 3rd 2009 11:49PM]

I can't really explain it but this ad speaks to a primal part of my manliness and makes me wanna say: "Hell Yeah!". A lot. And with a deep voice.

[DougieBear Posted Dec 4th 2009 5:38AM]

American adverts are always cheesy as fuck.

[chansthename Posted Dec 4th 2009 10:16PM]

@theoneandonlyradiostation

damn that ad was cool, you could start so many memes with it.

wow, im still flying after that.

[Edobe Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:16PM]

Pffttt, scud missiles are so 1992. I'm waiting on a phone that's an SS-27

[m6 Posted Dec 3rd 2009 11:19PM]

@Edobe
So, your standard is 9 years old and made in Russia? You can probably make that happen.

[jmcburna Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:18PM]

I think Iran is working on a 90% enriched uranium version out next quarter. Or wait...us Americans have 10 already. People are camping out for them now.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:18PM]

Hairdo for can do…
That's, that's pretty good.

[Bowsa Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:56PM]

@(Unverified)

This is obviously not for clueless pageant queens.

[spikebrain Posted Dec 3rd 2009 10:08PM]

@(Unverified) Good slogan, but why the f.... will the droid not pinch zoom? We all know it's capable... so is it Verizon, Google or Motorola that has their head shoved up their a....?

[djt Posted Dec 3rd 2009 10:22PM]

@spikebrain it DOES pinch and zoom. Just add the Dolphin browser.

[spikebrain Posted Dec 4th 2009 12:55AM]

@djt So does it pinch and zoom with a different browser? What about maps and pictures? I just find it mind-blowing that companies just leave out features like that... personally I have a shitty LG dumbphone that I like to throw at people, but I have an iPod touch that I use at school and stuff for email and browsing over the wifi...
The pinch zoom thing isn't really a deal breaker in my book, but I cannot comprehend the reasoning behind the people that left out that feature. It's like coming out with an awesome new multitouch mouse, and then letting users have absolutely no customization. Side note btw, the sensitivity on the magic mouse is soooooo shitty. It's probably the least sensitive mouse i've ever laid hands on. Even the highest setting is nerv-rackingly slow for me...

[OG Phenix Posted Dec 4th 2009 2:20AM]

@spikebrain It was a conscious decision. Apple still owns the patents on multitouch interfaces like pinch to zoom. Considering this is basically becoming Apple vs. Google (especially after the whole Google Voice thing), the manufacturers probably didn't want to take the risk that Apple would press charges.

If the phone is multi-touch, and the programs that run on it are multi-touch, there's probably a good reason the browser was left without it...lawsuits are a pretty good reason.

[kadajawi Posted Dec 4th 2009 6:17AM]

@spikebrain I'm sure it's legal reasons. Though HTC AFAIK adds pinch zoom on their Sense UI... without being sued. But maybe they have a deal with Apple. In anyway, Cyanogen e.g. has pinch zoom in his ROM for the browser. Works fine on my Magic.

[recharged95 Posted Dec 4th 2009 12:32PM]

@(Unverified)

Hairdo == gel case cover or plastic case protector. Cause we know it's required for that OTHER phone to prevent scratches and from drops.

[butcherchop Posted Dec 4th 2009 11:26PM]

@spikebrain uh, i was at the Verizon store in Porter Ranch, CA and i told the salesman....
"i have an iphone. im so use to it. Would be great if it pinch zoomed. This Droid doesnt"
and for fuck's sake..... i showed him on the Droid and it pinch zoomed!! WTF?!! I wonder if one of the salesman did that for the display model on purpose.

[doobster Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:19PM]

hmmm.... tat was actually a lame ad.

[yulebellow Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:20PM]

@doobster

tuck you

[jmcburna Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:23PM]

@(Unverified)

top it yo to

[Bleek Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:40PM]

@doobster Better than anything apple has come up with, sadly. I hope they never make another PC vs. Mac commercial... They are so awful.

[AM321CAN Posted Dec 4th 2009 12:41PM]

@Bleek
those pc vs mac ads are classic, i love them and i'm die hard pc lol, windows 7 adds are fairy tales lol

[Sisyphus Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:22PM]

Verizon just Eminem'ed the Droid.

[cloud858rk Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:23PM]

Very nice ad, good job Verizon. Now, can we get a Droid without the keyboard? I haven't heard a ton of good things about it. Fill the extra space with another battery.

[pcwolff Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:45PM]

@cloud858rk Don't think the Eris has a keyboard ;)

[cloud858rk Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:49PM]

@pcwolff The Eris, unfortunately, doesn't have a big 3.5 inch 854 x 480 screen or a Cortex processor. To me those are the main points for getting a Droid.

[WixosTrix Posted Dec 3rd 2009 10:32PM]

@cloud858rk

Eris also isn't running Andriod 2.0

[JeremyBenthem Posted Dec 3rd 2009 10:42PM]

@cloud858rk
1. slide out the keyboard
2. dab super glue on the keys
3. slide in the keyboard
4. ???
5. Profit!

[cormin Posted Dec 4th 2009 1:37AM]

@cloud858rk just take out the original battery, youll be more satisfied

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 4th 2009 11:10PM]

@cloud858rk DROID screen is 3.7 inches and yes there is a non keyboard version on the way. Although, I still prefer the real keyboard.

[PBB Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:24PM]

Well, at least they admitted its not one of the prettiest phones out there, but I still like mine just as well.

[maveric101 Posted Dec 3rd 2009 10:34PM]

@PBB

am i seriously the only person that likes the look of the Droid?

[trippisme Posted Dec 3rd 2009 10:55PM]

@maveric101
I like how the droid looks, so at least there's 2 of us now. ^_^

[Andir Posted Dec 3rd 2009 11:21PM]

@trippisme I love it... it has a solid look and feel.

[jupigare Posted Dec 4th 2009 3:05AM]

@Andir
The Droid is sexy.

[rj7855 Posted Dec 4th 2009 4:30AM]

@jupigare

I love the looks of the Droid.... the iPhone looks so 2007, I am really tired of that design.

[Sanskrit Posted Dec 4th 2009 9:14AM]

@maveric101
I personally think it's a bareknuckle bucket of awesome.

[levilynned Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:24PM]

This commercial will really brought the man out of you. lol, "it's not a princess it's a robot".. Now that's we are talking about.

I wonder what will iPhone and Luke Wilson (AT&T boy) react on that manly ads? It's not like "there's an app for that" can beat that on a jiffy.

AT&T needs help last week: http://bit.ly/att-is-calling-their-big-daddy-apple-for-help

[ImDaIllest Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:25PM]

and there you have it, if anyone out there was actually waiting for an explanation as to why its ugly. will they ever stop with these ads...?

-im a fanboy of good ads!

[TareG Posted Dec 3rd 2009 9:27PM]

Why can't Motorola just do a beautiful phone that "can do". It's not exactly mind numbingly difficult to make a non-fugly phone.

[Sanskrit Posted Dec 4th 2009 2:03PM]

@TareG
Because there's this thing called "different people like different things." I personally like the Droid the way it is.

[Ngamer Posted Dec 4th 2009 4:58PM]

@TareG

I think the Droid looks way better than the iPhone personally.