Chris: In an unprecedented cash and stock deal valued at over $1.7 billion, Comcast acquires your '89 Festiva.
Thomas: Steve Jobs will announce a pair of tablets, then smash them to bits on account of Android idolatry.
Laura: Jeff Bezos will continue to predict the "death of the book." The book will continue to exist merely to spite Bezos.
Don: The world breathes a sigh of relief that the Large Hadron Collider will never create a black hole... after it is destroyed by zombies.
Dan: Apple's stock will plummet when a TUAW investigative report reveals that Steve Jobs actually died in 2002, and has since been portrayed by talk show host cum surreal performance artist, Arsenio Hall.
Nilay: Google finally flips the switch and creates Skynet.
Joanna: The OLPC XO-3 gets an early release date - in the form of the Apple Tablet. Ends world hunger, illiteracy and violence. Saves the world.
Ben: Microsoft agrees that CableCARD is a failure and Media Center along with it and introduces Zune Center.
Josh F: Adult entertainment will kick-start yet another media market, this time in the form of 3D Blu-ray porn.
Richard Lai: Tamagotchi resurrects with 3D monochrome screen, and then dies.
Darren: Intel considers making an Atom that's actually fast, but its bottom line delays the launch until December 31, 2012.
Vlad: Sony Ericsson delivers an Xperia handset on time... nah, just kidding.
Richard Lawler: Nintendo surprises everyone and releases the Wii 3D.
Josh T: Google upends the landscape of the mobile phone market when Eric Schmidt says Apple can "have one of these unsubsidized" while emphatically pointing to his crotch.