Steve Ballmer's shocking autograph of MacBook Pro caught on video
By Joshua Topolsky 
posted January 22nd 2010 11:24AM
posted January 22nd 2010 11:24AM
But, no. He pretty much just signs the laptop. See it all happen after the break.Steve would fly into a blind fury, grabbing the laptop and smashing it against a far wall with the force of ten men, laughing as the computer shattered and sparked out of existence. He would then leap towards the young man who'd made the request and pin him to the floor, pulling out a Bowie knife while whispering that he would like to "Gut [him] like the pathetic animal he is." Next Ballmer would dash out of the room only to return with a canister of gasoline, some hairspray, and one of those long lighters, all while shouting that he would "Show the world what [he's] really made of." Ballmer would escape from this scene of utter destruction in a helicopter, but not before circling the college campus (or wherever this took place) and dumping toxic waste on hundreds of students.
Wonder what would happen if you asked Steve Jobs to sign a computer (nonapple made) that was running Windows.
@Kmobs He probably wouldn't even respond and act like it never happened.
@Kmobs That was my first though as well. Ballmer is a pretty cool guy, intense but pretty cool next door neighbor kinda guy (with a few hundred million more but hey).
@Kmobs
An yes, but was the mac running Windows? And can anyone tell what he wrote on there?
@Kmobs big screen showing exponential increase in blood pressure
@Kmobs He'd probably sign it, but show him a PC running OS X and he'd go bat-shit crazy
@Kmobs I don't really think Ballmer is thrown up in this fanboi war like the rest of the internets. I don't think Steve is either; I too want to see him sign my VAIO to confirm my thought ^^.
@d0mth0ma5
Haha!
@Kmobs Steve would fly into a blind fury, grabbing the laptop and smashing it against a far wall with the force of ten men, laughing as the computer shattered and sparked out of existence. He would then leap towards the young man who'd made the request and pin him to the floor, pulling out a Bowie knife while whispering that he would like to "Gut [him] like the pathetic animal he is." Next Ballmer would dash out of the room only to return with a canister of gasoline, some hairspray, and one of those long lighters, all while shouting that he would "Show the world what [he's] really made of." Ballmer would escape from this scene of utter destruction in a helicopter, but not before circling the college campus (or wherever this took place) and dumping toxic waste on hundreds of students.
@Kmobs
That's pretty cool :)
@prometheus1981
Cool story, bro!
@Kmobs It would bluescreen and need to be hard reset.
@prometheus1981 if you want to copy and paste some text to sound fun, at least replace every "ballmer", not only the first one. fail
@sibyy
Pretty cool guy!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvsboPUjrGc
@Kmobs Microsoft makes software they do not care about computer comapanies.
@Kmobs I'd rather see what he does when you ask him to sign a non-Apple machine running OSX...
@Dreamscape86 I believe he'd go "bat-shit crazy"
@Kmobs c'mon, engadget... Every other tech blog (MacRumors, Apple Insider, and even Giz) have confirmed that Ballmer signed a Macbook Pro running Windows 7. Where is that little nugget of info in your story? Ballmer and Microsoft should be thrilled that Windows is on that there Mac. Since MS doesn't make hardware, they probably don't give a rat's ass what logo is on the lid of the laptop, as long as they get their licensing fee for the software.
And remember, several reviewers say that a Macbook Pro is the best hardware to run Windows...
@jimmylittle
Yes, but don't they all run Windows 7?
@Kmobs
He probably though that since it looked like a PC then it probably was.
It is doubtful that he would even know what a Mac was given that it has less than 10% of the market and even then only about half of that miniscule number is reserved for vertical apps like audio and graphocs applications.
@rederikus
I think they probably know what macs are, given the fact that they responded to the PC/Mac advertising with the I'm a PC billion dollar ad campaign...
@IUKonstantin. the guy claimed it was. and Ballmer wrote something like "need a new computer" along with his name.
@sibyy
Oh, look! Homer Simpson is signing a MacBook Pro. D'oh.
@Kmobs
It might be worth even more now.
@Kmobs He'd sign it while telling you how the new Apple XYZ, is so much faster, doesn't get viruses, and is uber cool for the hip new generation. Oh, and it makes coffee too. Does you laptop do that?
@Kmobs I'm more interested in someone asking steve jobs to sign on psystar.
@IUKonstantin .. the guy said, "Mr. Balmer, can you sign my laptop?" ... Steve wrote "Need a New One?", after signing his name "Steve Balmer" exactly over the mac logo.
@Kmobs
He would have a heart attack and go into remission for several months simply because he was approached by an 'unclean.'
@jimmylittle Even if it wasn't running Windows 7, lots of people run expensive (more expensive than Windows) Office suites on their Macs so why wouldn't Ballmer sign it. Microsoft isn't a laptop manufacturer themselves.
@Kmobs
Has any normal person ever been near jobs? Someone not on his payroll, I mean I don't recall seeing any pictures of that nature, not one from the last few decades at least.
So I don't see anybody get near enough to ask for any signings.
@MarkAnderson Actually, this is not the first time Mr. Ballmer used a macbook pro to promote some windows 7 stuff. Last october, on the debut of Windows 7, it was said that MS used macbook pro as a background streamer loading the Win logo.. Lol, see video: http://bit.ly/macbook-promoting-windows-7-ballmer
@IUKonstantin "Need a mac care? Steve Ballmer" I think.
@IUKonstantin
From what I can tell, he wrote "Need a new one? Steve Ballmer"
@Kmobs If you go to El Jobso and ask him to sign your notebook, you will somehow get to throw it away and buy the latest macbook instead.
I heard it's called a reality distortion field, I wouldn't mess with it.
@IUKonstantin He wrote "Need a new one?" as well as signing his name... Just thought I would answer you...
@N900
I'd like to see you get close enough to Stve Jobs with a Vaio in your hand, without getting lynched by a bunch of fanatical Mac users.
@Kmobs
Woz signed a Dell Mini 9 hackintosh. He thought it was cool.
@Patriot
DROID does
What did he write on it?
@Dilpickle1 "eat shit and die, your pal Steve"
@Dilpickle1 "need a new one?"
@Dilpickle1 "try rubbing this out bitch!"
"Need a new one? Steve Ballmer"
@Dilpickle1
Looks like he actually wrote "Need a new one?".
Bit rubbish.
@stopfire Yeah he definitely wrote "Need a new one?"
@Dilpickle1 "This is now worth $100,000 on eBay"
@Dilpickle1
"Need a new one?"
It's definitely worth a lot on the irony meter. Like getting the Pope to bless your favorite pr0n DVD.
@Dilpickle1
Heres an enhanced image of it http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/5462/stevesbalmmeronamac.jpg
@Dilpickle1 http://uselessuniverse.com/?p=50