Caption contest: iPhone as a CPR device
By Vlad Savov 
posted February 12th 2010 10:54AM
posted February 12th 2010 10:54AM
Paul: "Come on Luke Wilson's Career, stay with me now, you're not going to die on me!"
Darren: "Man, I could really get a better look at what's going on if this thing had a 9.7-inch IPS panel..."
Chris: "Everyone is either dying or staying alive these days, and we began to ask ourselves: is there room for something in the middle?"
Nilay: "He then died."
Vlad: "Our other cradle also measures rhythm and depth, though its purpose isn't entirely medicinal."
Andy: "A rare case where a lack of multitasking is actually helpful to the task on hand."
Thomas: "Can you stop dying for a second, I have to take this call."
Joe: "This actually adds an intriguing level of complexity to Super Monkey Ball 2."
Richard Lai: "Come on... COME ON!! Wait a tick... AT&T? No wonder it isn't working. Dammit."
Tim: "Looks like this guy's heart (puts on sunglasses)... has dropped its last call." Yeeeaaaaaahhhh...
i think tim ran away with this one
@jaalin Have to agree with you there.
@jaalin Thanks. Personally Nilay's had me rolling.
@jaalin
Yep. I was excited to be all witty, and then he just walked in and stole the show.
@TimStevens Yeah, I L'edOL at Nilay's, but then would expect nothing less after all the podcasts...
Listened to Ep. 180 again last night, to see how acurate iPad predictions were, I quote Nilay on that night, this was before the launch:
Nilay: "I tell ya one thing, it's not gonna be called the iPad, I tell ya that right now."
I laughed so hard.
@jaalin
Caption? I can do better
http://www.explosm.net/comics/1797/
iHeart
@jaalin
My vote is for Thomas though Tim's is a close second.
@jaalin What if someone call you?
@jaalin
Friend goes into cardiac-arrest? There's an app for that!!!
@jaalin
QUICK we're losing it...place the iPhone on top of the iPad and press the button. Too late...the iPad is dead. :(...
@jaalin
Step 3: Place the device on the center of the chest.
Step 4: Wait four more weeks for the app to get approved and become available in the app store.
Step 5: Download the app and press the button to save this guy.
@jaalin
Crap MacGruber...this life saving app you wrote is flash based!!!
@jaalin
Alright I have the emergency defibrillator. Who has an iPhone to make it work? iPhone anyone? Helloooooo. No YOU IDIOT, that's Android: O-P-E-N S-O-U-R-C-E. I need closed loop.
Sorry dude, no everyone seems to have switched.
Game over.
I bet this app is killer on battery life.
"Come on, stay with me, I got the slingbox app working, and the super bowl is almost on!"
"And with Labyrinth 3's augmented reality, you can sink tiny metal balls into the patient's cardiovascular system to revive them while having fun too... a win-win!"
@Sg Grant
"Transportation App" was still buggy when applied to complex organic objects - torsos freezing to carbonite, limbs reattaching randomly, etc.
Yeah this is so clever imagine oops my battery life is dead or oops where is the app i cant find it than followed by a crash. This is simply too risky to wait for as every second counts.
The Crash-Pad, Only available with Windows
"If only I could listen to some inspirational music on Pandora while I save lives."
@flextopia "...Pocket CPR now comes with a free mp3 of "Pump It" by Black Eyed Peas!"
@Nzad
or Breathe by Prodigy/Fabolous/Faith Hill
@Nzad I'd go with "Push It" by Salt n Pepa myself.
@flextopia Or "Stayin' Alive"?
Ironically it's used in First Aid training, it's the right amount of BPM for compressions, the "uh-uh-uh-uh, stayin alive" bit. Along with of course Nelly The Elephant, Jack and Jill and Match of the Day.
@flextopia
HAHAHA very nice, hats off to you
I'll be thinking about this all day...
My playlist in order
"Pain in my heart" By Otis Reading
"Beat Again" by JLS
"D.O.A" by the Foo Fighters
"Oh What a shame" by The Incompetence
"I Stolen your Wallet" by the Neebies
@FORDY Or, "Another One Bites the Dust".
The Battery Died... Guess we can Call it.
Heartbeat rejected for duplicating core functionality of life.
@ChazClout
LOL
"I tried swiping his face and got nothing. CPR was my only other option."
Dying? There's an app for that!
"Apple shows off its latest multi-touch gesture"
This has to be a joke.. right?
..so this is how they teach CPR at iTunes University.
Hey now, Luke Wilson is a fine actor, a gentleman, and a scholar!
"Whoops. Wrong app. This one just makes farting noises."
@User Formerly Known as Dave
^^ This.
@User Formerly Known as Dave
Woah, its the Gman.... I think my heart just stopped.
@User Formerly Known as Dave
Wake up Mr.Freeman, wake up and smell the ashes.
(I think the battery just exploded)
We've only got EDGE coverage, we're gonna lose him!
Too bad you have to jailbreak to check for a pulse, assess breathing, assist ventilation, give drugs, defibrillate...
@booone0
LOL nice.
I call dibs on iPad defibrillator CPR thingy!
Dying? There's an app for that!
"Shake to resuscitate"
"Everyone is either dying or staying alive these days, and we began to ask ourselves: is there room for something in the middle?"
I couldn't possible say it better!
@Jakob Thank you! I was wondering why nobody mentioned Chris's. All of them were funny, but this one was way funnier than the rest imo.