Alright, we'll leave all the zingers for you and our mercurial staff to deliver, and just use this space to dish some info on the hardware. Ivor Kovic, an emergency physician from Croatia, has recently demoed a new iPhone cradle that turns the already multifunctional handset into a CPR assistance device. By using an app titled Pocket CPR and the built-in accelerometer, he can get audio and visual feedback to tell him if he's doing it correctly, while his basic (but awesome) cradle allows for longer CPR sessions if necessary. Check out the video after the break, then hit the comments with your finest witticisms.

Paul: "Come on Luke Wilson's Career, stay with me now, you're not going to die on me!"
Darren: "Man, I could really get a better look at what's going on if this thing had a 9.7-inch IPS panel..."
Chris: "Everyone is either dying or staying alive these days, and we began to ask ourselves: is there room for something in the middle?"
Nilay: "He then died."
Vlad: "Our other cradle also measures rhythm and depth, though its purpose isn't entirely medicinal."
Andy: "A rare case where a lack of multitasking is actually helpful to the task on hand."
Thomas: "Can you stop dying for a second, I have to take this call."
Joe: "This actually adds an intriguing level of complexity to Super Monkey Ball 2."
Richard Lai: "Come on... COME ON!! Wait a tick... AT&T? No wonder it isn't working. Dammit."
Tim: "Looks like this guy's heart (puts on sunglasses)... has dropped its last call." Yeeeaaaaaahhhh...