Puppy Tweets will turn your Pooper into a world-class twitterer (Updated: with hands-on pictures!)

If you thought the downfall of Twitter began when Oprah said it was the best thing ever, well, you're probably right, but this latest toy from Mattel won't help to improve the situation. It's called Puppy Tweets, a little clasp that hangs from your pooch's collar and detects what it's up to -- presumably making wild guesses based on accelerometer and microphone readings. It was announced last month and is being shown off at the NY Toy Fair, where Mattel is pledging it can detect 500 different activities and turn them into 140-character witticisms, like: "It's not the catching of the tail, it's the chase," and "Guess what I'm licking right now." Yep, a real product, and $30 will get you yours in either pink or blue.

Update: We had to check this thing out for ourselves at the Toy Fair today. Unfortunately, there wasn't a real pup on hand to demo, but we did confirm that this lightweight plastic collar can, as previously mentioned, tweet everything from licks to resulting carpet stains. Included in the box is a matching USB dongle which contains software that works with the collar to enable the Wi-Fi updates. It won't hit shelves until June, but check the gallery below.

Mattel Puppy Tweets

[crapNstuff Posted Feb 13th 2010 3:52PM]

I hope the sensor can't smell peanut butter.

[MoonWalkerCTE Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:10PM]

@crapNstuff Do you smear your dog in peanut butter?

[paul34 Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:14PM]

@MoonWalkerCTE

I think he smears... something else of his.. in peanut butter.

Yea, we definitely don't want to read those tweets.

[shoxite Posted Feb 13th 2010 7:38PM]

Great a puppy that TWEETS! lol

[Dori Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:03PM]

Hope they make one for human too.

[KRISC123 Posted Feb 13th 2010 6:51PM]

@Dori well i dont need to tweet when im taking a dump. i just shout out the window what size it is and what i ate to produce it

[MikeZ Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:03PM]

So if one of those annoying little mutated rats barks at you and you kick it over the next fence what will the Twitter message read like?

[Dafrety Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:12PM]

@MikeZ
"He knocked that one out of the park!"

[FallenArms3 Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:16PM]

@MikeZ "I hope all dogs do go to heaven"

[weirdo557 Posted Feb 14th 2010 12:27AM]

@MikeZ
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER

[Ignotus Posted Feb 14th 2010 6:38AM]

This further strengthens my argument against twitter: WHO CARES WHAT YOU OR YOUR (fill in the blank, in this case, dog) IS DOING?

Also: How does this connect to the Internet to even send the tweets in the first place? I mean, I doubt any twitter user would actually be stupid enough to pay for 3G to....
Scratch that, the TwitterPeek feels otherwise

[ndrwme Posted Feb 15th 2010 2:04PM]

@Ignotus Despite Engadget saying it's WiFi, it looks to me more like a proprietary radio connection between the USB dongle and the collar, which means you'll have to limit your dog to your room. Or you could carry a 3G netbook whenever you walk the dog.

[Bublik25 Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:06PM]

looks like some kind of sex toy

[Ignotus Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:11PM]

@Bublik25
Is one of the "300" actions it identifies, dog sex?

Dog sex, with such funny tweets as:
"We're keeping it"
"Hey everybody, look what I just made"

[FallenArms3 Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:17PM]

@Ignotus "I don't even know this b*tch"

[kopmis Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:08PM]

@pachi72 Whatever is notable. Even if it's crap.

[Dafrety Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:10PM]

I need one for a guinea pig.

"OH HEY HE HAS A HAMBURGER WITH TOMATO GIMME GIMME GIMME"
"WHAT IS THIS MY CAGE IS CLEAN I NEED TO CRAP IT UP AGAIN AUGH!!!!!!!!!!"
"I BITE FINGERS AND DRAW BLOOD OM NOM NOM NOM."

[Valicore Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:48PM]

@Dafrety Somebody is regretting getting a hamster?

[Dafrety Posted Feb 13th 2010 6:32PM]

@Valicore
I've fine with guinea pigs, it's just my most recent one is particularly evil. The red eyes should probably have tipped me off though.

[sweet greggo Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:41PM]

Looks like Lady Gaga's dog.

[Seven Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:53PM]

@sweet greggo

more like, that dog looks like Lady Gaga

[c w j Posted Feb 13th 2010 4:59PM]

There are at list two wrong ways my mind processed that title.

I have a dirty mind.

Thanks, Prince.

[c w j Posted Feb 13th 2010 5:11PM]

@c w j

list = least


:-/

[CapnShiner Posted Feb 14th 2010 6:37AM]

@c w j After reading your comment, I read the title again and laughed my ass off. If that's the first place you went with it, you are a sick bastard, but it's still funny.

[c w j Posted Feb 17th 2010 2:43AM]

@CapnShiner

somebody, somewhere,

has already instituted the use of pu**y tweets.

wow. it just happened again.

replace "tweets" with "treats".

(sigh)

[kabloink Posted Feb 13th 2010 5:04PM]

I can't wait for the cat versions.

"Your cat is sleeping"
"Your cat is eating"
"Your cat is sleeping"

[weirdo557 Posted Feb 14th 2010 12:29AM]

@kabloink
"Your cat is throwing up somewhere"

[Ignotus Posted Feb 13th 2010 5:05PM]

@graeperry
Your ridiculous self-promotion makes me want to personally destroy your stupid website. What? Do you think people AREN'T going to notice your BLATANT attempt to traffic your site?
"Oh look, its a random link to a website, despite the fact that the commenter has the same name as the URL, I doubt they're connected...I'll just click on it!"
NO

[Ignotus Posted Feb 13th 2010 5:09PM]

Still more useful than the TwitterPeek

[MowDownJoe Posted Feb 13th 2010 5:15PM]

Did they tagged this thing as a crapgadget? If not, they should.

[Edobe Posted Feb 13th 2010 5:32PM]

But....will it blend?

[Joe McG Posted Feb 13th 2010 5:43PM]

Signs the apocalypse is upon us

[THJ Posted Feb 13th 2010 5:47PM]

@pachi72 one mans crap is another mans hat.

[Sparky Posted Feb 13th 2010 5:59PM]

Looks like the dog is tweeting "I want to go home".

[Yankfan81 Posted Feb 13th 2010 6:04PM]

Look Squirrel

[ckorhonen Posted Feb 13th 2010 6:05PM]

For $30 it isn't bad at all, great price point for a geeky novelty that might actually be useful.

As a dog owner, it would be nice to have a bit of insight into what they are doing while you are at work. My only worry would be if the dog somehow managed to eat it!

[pvito Posted Feb 13th 2010 6:11PM]

This is getting ridiculous

[BigD145 Posted Feb 13th 2010 6:16PM]

Now dogs are just as intelligent as every other being on twitter.

[Samurai Jack Posted Feb 13th 2010 6:19PM]

"Squirrel!"

[KRISC123 Posted Feb 18th 2010 11:27PM]

@Samurai Jack

ahahaha yes :D i get you :) very funny :) my favourite movie :)

[edf Posted Feb 13th 2010 7:03PM]

"Guess what I'm licking right now."

See, Tiger's wife jumped to conclusions. That was a Tweet from the dog.

[voodoochild70 Posted Feb 13th 2010 7:11PM]

this is almost as big a fail as lady gaga and miley cyrus

[weirdo557 Posted Feb 14th 2010 12:31AM]

@voodoochild70
considering they both make shitloads of money...i'd say a bad analogy.

[Gas Posted Feb 13th 2010 7:33PM]

Ironically, the dogs will be more interesting than 90% of the attention whoring that goes on on Twitter.

[Spiky haired boy Posted Feb 13th 2010 9:39PM]

Can't wait for twitter on Life Alert!
"help I can't get up!"

[tweak Posted Feb 13th 2010 10:44PM]

"Pooper" may not be the best choice in words. Unless I'm missing some reference here?

[drewcp Posted Feb 13th 2010 11:00PM]

Where have I heard of this before?
http://www.engadget.com/2010/01/26/puppy-tweets-lets-your-puppy-tweet/

[bigfatpanda Posted Feb 14th 2010 12:15AM]

Oh shit..

[bigfatpanda Posted Feb 14th 2010 12:16AM]

@bigfatpanda Get it?

[trevoreon Posted Feb 14th 2010 3:26AM]

Im not sure if this is the most asinine thing ever, or something that I would buy for my future puppy simply for entertainment.