House passes Cellphone Contraband Act of 2010, prisoners go back to writing letters
By Joseph L. Flatley 
posted July 21st 2010 4:39PM
posted July 21st 2010 4:39PM
Oh, we know all about doin' time. We watched both Oz and The Wire in their entirety, and have seen Let's Go To Prison, like, eight times. For instance, we know that you only do two days in the joint: the day you go in, and the day you go out. And we know that tattoo guns are readily available (if you have access to an old walkman or Playstation).We also know that cellphones are contraband, and rightfully so: you wouldn't want an inmate ordering a hit on someone, or running their record label from in "the stir." That's why we stand with the CTIA in support of S.1749, or The Cell Phone Contraband Act of 2010. Approved in April by the Senate, and passed by the house yesterday, this amendment to title 18 of the United States Code prohibits "possession or use of cellphones and similar wireless devices by Federal prisoners." And once it's signed into law by the President, we're sure that the no-goodniks will stop sneaking handsets in and we can forget all that silly talk of prison cellphone jamming once and for all.
Man Oz gave me nightmares
@fais
I'd love to see someone updating their facebook status in prison from their cell.
"OMGz totally just dropped the soap. Toodles!"
@fais
HEY JOEY, I NEED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF THAT THING !
- What thing?
YOU KNOW, DAT THING OVER IN THE BRONX !
- You mean you need me to SEE a guy?
YEAH, I need you to SEE EM... PERMANENTLY.
@armus360
They smuggle cell phone parts in, and reassemble them to create a working phone. It's not like they are allowing them to bring cell phones in.
Sometimes by carrier pigeon:
http://www.engadget.com/2009/04/16/devious-carrier-pigeon-caught-trying-to-smuggle-cellphone-parts/
Kudos for shouting out Oz and The Wire!
@jj1814
Hello? Prison Break?
Now how will Michael Scofield be able to record the movement of the guards underneath the infirmary window?
@Dr Yusuf AlKindi
the mistresses get replaced with misters. clearly you haven't seen Oz :-P
They will still smuggle them in..
@MoonWalkerCTE
Even if you smuggle in cellphones, I simply can't believe there are sockets for the prisoners to use to charge them...wouldn't that make it possible for them to commit suicide via electrocution?
Thing is, alot of these unwanted cellphone problems could be solved using a CELL PHONE JAMMER like the one I purchased from Ebay.
When I'm in the theater, NOBODY IS INTERRUPTING ME.
CAUSE I SAID SO.
@MoonWalkerCTE I doubt it. This new law will make a huge difference because as we all know, prison inmates have great respect for the law and obeying it to the fullest extent.
Let's go to jail good movie. Do you want some toliet wine.
@Gavin M
Sure, Pruno rules!
@grumbles
You sound upset.
Would you like some Merlot? I made it in the toilet.
let's go to prison SUCKED!
pick better movies, Will. you're funnier than that movie xp
@grumbles
I think it's funny.
"In fact, he'd been terrified of the very notion of prison since, as a young boy, he accidentally watched HBO's Oz, mistaking it for the classic Judy Garland musical."
There goes my Google Voice Texting...
Ummm, you're allowed a mobile phone in prison??
"Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted."
I'll give you guys one guess where this is from.
@grumbles
wikipedia?
@Cicadymn Blast... you took my joke. It's a good one. Keister-stashing a Droid X would be enough to keep it out of prison. But damn you for your speed and everything else. Well done.
prisons in US make crime attractive
I actually know someone in federal prison. They're allowed 300 minutes of phone usage per month (that's less than 10 minutes a day). The reason they smuggle in phones (which, although until now wasn't criminal, would still lead to loss of good time and other 'benefits') is simply to keep in touch with family and friends. The whole story about these "dangerous felons" calling hits from inside is dumb nonsense. Its already a crime to order a hit, why make it a crime to have a cell phone.
@wagoosh there used for video guards fucking with other prisoners and then to black mail the gaurds into bringing them contraband or they will have the person they sent that video out to the world or whomever needs it to take care of the gaurd.
@wagoosh What??? SO you are saying prisoners a just good people and taking away child molesting murderers already know ordering a "hit" is wrong so they should be allowed cell phones to talk to their families and they shouldn't have any priveleges taken away from them? Just because they molested children, robbed people and murdered them, they would never use a phone in prison to organize a shiving, a riot, a break or to run illegal activities outside/inside of prison with their posse? Besides they might need to order delivery from chez henrie's if the evening meal doesn't excite them.
@wagoosh You, sir, deserve the Annual Darwin Award for ultimate stupidity and ignorance.
You probably think that all those illegals are just coming here to get jobs that Americans won't do, right?
@camronm21 - bwaaahahahaha! That just made my night man, awesome!
"A Dwight Correctional Center prisoner referred to by the Chicago Tribune as Jane Doe was repeatedly forced to have sex with prison guards even though she had diminished lung capacity and was hooked up to an oxygen machine.
Doe filed a lawsuit on March 3, 2008, alleging that guards would come to her cell in the middle of the night and force her to have sex in the guards’ bathroom. Doe, who is afflicted with obstructive pulmonary lung disease, became pregnant from the rapes. She was an ex-beauty pageant winner, and apparently attractive enough that the guards did not care that she had to tote her oxygen tank with her to the bathroom where they would rape her.
“You can’t fight them because they grip you from behind the neck,” she said. “You don’t know if they’re going to kill you.”
Doe tried to report the attacks on numerous occasions. But instead of help, a prison administrator threatened to have a year added to her sentence. She was placed in segregation and her letters to her attorney and the media were intercepted or blocked. She was sexually assaulted 29 times, both before and after she was put in segregation.
In January 2007, after she was released, Doe gave birth to a baby boy. Her lawsuit names the warden, assistant warden, two lieutenants and eight prison guards who allegedly participated in a “rape squad.” [See: Doe v. Denning, U.S.D.C. (ND. Ill.), Case No. 1:08-cv-01265]."
Hey guys, is prison rape still funny?
@grumbles
No grumbles there are people here with a sense of humor. Its well known that our prison system is in massive disarray. That it does not rehabilitate but instead fosters and grows hardened criminals. That there are people who abuse the system throughout including some prisoners themselves.
However humor is a way of talking about issues that would normally make ordinary people squirm or at least shutdown. People don't like hearing uncomfortable stories. If some stories are too strange or different for an outsider it wil most likely be brushed off or ignored.
Humor is just as much of thought and speech as any other style. Loosen up a little. It won't hurt so much.
@redspear
Actually, it's not well-known, and attitudes like those above do nothing but perpetuate the problem(s).
@Wiggy Fuzz
Like the guy in the 50$ prison suit is going to smuggle a phone, COME ON!
@grumbles
Yes!
My question is how the hell do they get signal in a huge concrete and steel monolith? I dint get reliable signal in my house for cryin out loud. My wife works in a building with a cell node on the roof but because of the concrete structure can't get a decent signal. Just add a fine wire screening to the outside of the prisons. Faraday cage, voilà! No need for a jamming signal.
Dont tell my son that taking away his tv and xbox was considered cruel and unusual punishment
@jroff
Comment of the week! Your wit and timing is impeccable.
@ grumbles
Why so serious? Yes we all know rape is wrong and bad but the original comment was actually quite funny. Like you've never told a dirty joke.
Pointless if you ask me. -_- I mean honestly, why are these people sent to jail? For doing something illegal. Why would this law suddenly change their heart if they had all intentions of smuggling a phone or something like that to begin with? "I killed this man and I wanna hire a hit on Grissom or Capt. Brass but this law says that it is illegal to be in possession of a cell phone in jail, so I guess I shouldn't smuggle one. Golly, I just don't know...." Yeah. Right.
@Squalor well done my good man, well done.
It amazes me how broken our prison is that you can sneak anything into a prison to begin with. I don't care if you can explain it to me or tell me I shouldn't expect that to happen. You're wrong. The fucking place should be locked down 24/7. Period.
If you're in prison you should be eating bread, water, and vitamin supplements, sleeping on cheap beds, and doing back work of some sort to pay back your debt to society. If you manage not to stab or rape someone while you're in there then you should be able to go to a place of worship or a library of some sort to try and better yourself, and use that as an incentive to be on good behavior. Not fucking televisions and shit. That's ridiculous. My god damn tax dollars are paying for that.
Faraday cages would stop the prison cellphones. But they would ALSO stop the guard radioing for help because there is a riot going on.
Cell-phone jammers are not good either because they could block the cellphones of people who are outside the prison but still within the jamming radius. (although whether its possible to make the jamming radius the right size to cover the prison and nothing else I dont know)
will app downloads go down significantly? or will jailbreaking phones increase?
I love when politicians create laws that criminals are supposed to follow.Last I checked, if they followed the law, they wouldn't be criminals. Cant wait for November!
Now if they could just make this law apply to people in restaurants, movie theaters, and to those driving a vehicle, then we'd have something worthwhile.
Right. Just like more gun laws are going to cut down on violent crime.
Stupid congressmen need to go home and quit messing up our lives.