This crapgadget installment features things that would get you immediately fired from most right-thinking American corporations, HR Department be damned. Seriously: if Morty over in Accounts Receivable ever rolls into work with a USB fan tie, fingerless USB powered hand-warmin' gloves (or, failing that, a mouse that also heats up), or starts fussing over the goldfish in his desktop USB aquarium, it's time to start working out escape routes (or at least look forward to a mention in a revised edition of Mark Ames's Going Postal). But what about the landline telephone shaped like a large set of lips? Oh, that one's totally awesome.

Read - Thanko USB Necktie Cooler
Read - Kitty USB Hands Warmer
Read - Cartoon USB Warmer Optical Mouse
Read - USB Desktop Aquarium Holds Real Fish Along with Your iPhone
Read - Grimacing Mouth Phone
Which of these would you characterize as a 'desperate cry for help'?
USB Necktie Cooler1000 (25.1%)
Kitty USB Hands Warmer292 (7.3%)
USB Warmer Optical Mouse70 (1.8%)
USB Desktop Aquarium336 (8.4%)
Grimacing Mouth Phone534 (13.4%)
All of 'em, duh!1757 (44.0%)

This Android android runs Android, eats humans