Having anything stolen is a drag, but having your pride and joy bicycle
go missing is a real kick in the pants. Maybe that wouldn't happen if you had the B.O.N.D. -- "Built of Notorious Deterrents." That's something of an acronym stretch, but we'll let it slide after getting a load of this cycle's ample assets. The most striking additions are of course the caterpillar tread on the back and ski on the front, in theory enabling this thing to manage a man-powered escape across land or snow. It's the ejector seat, however, that will really catch would-be thieves attention, self-armed and rigged to go off if unapproved cheeks make contact (as shown in the video below). Also of note is the bar-mounted flamethrower, designed for singeing the mirrors of commuters who don't make room. Or of SPECTRE operatives who get too close. You know, whichever. This is sadly not a model you can buy, a one-off created by UK bicycle insurer ETA, who we're hoping also offers premium discounts for frame-mounted miniguns and baskets full of grenades.