We've seen some pretty fancy cans in our time, but perhaps none as tricked out as Kohler's latest $6,400 john. The Numi does just about everything for you, aside from the stuff that, well, only you can do. Looking something akin to a fancy pop-top waste bin, Numi comes complete with a self-opening and closing lid so you never have to touch the toilet seat; a self-cleaning bidet with adjustable controls for temperature and water pressure; heating elements to keep your toes and tush toasty; an illuminated panel for nighttime rendezvous; a built-in speaker system that connects to a remote docking station to ensure only you know exactly what you're doing in there; and a deodorizing element that sucks air from the bowl through a charcoal filter. Of course, no connected appliance would be complete without a touchscreen, and the Numi's no exception; it has a touch panel remote that you can use to set to your specifications. Now, that's what we call a porcelain throne. Check out the ridiculously lavish promo video after the break.