Michael: "Pen > sword, but car > keyboard. Hope the owner's got life insurance."
Brian: "Fortunately the victims just walked away with whiplash and a bad case of carpal tunnel."
Tim: "Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever send off any sweet TXTs?"
Don: "Here's that bike messenger you asked for, boss."
Terrence: "When Billy told his friends he got a new bike they asked, 'but can it play Crysis?' Little did they know..."
Richard Lawler: "Now potential thieves have to decide between using bolt cutters or rainbow tables."
Zach Honig: "Hey Giant. Yeah you holding the grocery bag. You're not so big anymore, now are you?"
Billy: "What? No one said anything about biking while typing."
Jon: "Q, you've really outdone yourself this time."
Mat: "Data from the Goonies may have grown up, but his choice in bikes hasn't."
Dan: "At least they weren't lying when they called it 'an unprecedented mobile device.'"