They're creepy, they're kooky, they're your favorite Frankengadgets and they've invaded the latest issue of Engadget Distro. But fear not, this edition of our fine weekly isn't all about chopping and screwing the devices you love, we've got plenty of other real-life gadgets on hand as well. See that tiny silver sliver on the cover? That's ASUS' Zenbook UX31, perhaps the most viable candidate for the Ultrabook throne. It may not be as thin and light, but we're also bringing you a review of Dell's lightweight XPS 14z, an ergonomically sound laptop with a sizable asking price. On the mobile front, Myriam Joire says hello and goodbye to Nokia's N9 MeeGo phone and Zach Honig gets his hands on its brother from another operating system, the Lumia 800. Nokia's claiming its latest is the "first real Windows Phone," but Sharif Sakr's review of the HTC Titan might just prove otherwise. We'll also bring you a look into Tech News Today host Iyaz Akhtar's geeky upbringing, our latest installation of In Real Life and an exclusive comic from Ed Piskor. So what are you waiting for? Hop on that iPad or hit the PDF download link below, and soak up all that Distro goodness.