#Ridiculous, or why the French have renamed the hastag a play in no parts

FADE IN:

INT. L'Académie Française -- DUSK

A group of forty immortels, dressed head-to-toe in YSL Rive Gauche robes en velour, are seated upon several dozen Maurizio Galante Mother-in-Law sofas. Saint Etienne's Good Humor can be heard playing in the background as the soundtrack to their wordless debate. Forceful exhalations and heavy sighs punctuate the lounge-like ambiance. Suddenly, the eldest of the group stands, silences his Mobiado Grand Touch Executive and speaks.

IMMORTEL No. 1

Let's have a kiki. I wanna have a kiki.

IMMORTEL No. 31

Lock the doors, tight!

IMMORTEL No. 1

A kiki is party for deciding on new words. We're drinking Chablis and dishing des bons mots to be absurd. And though the sun will soon be rising, no one may get up to leave. So tweet that ish and we'll all bid adieu to le hashtag.

Kiki! Hashtag?! Oui Oui ou Non?

ALL IMMORTELS (in unison)

NON, NON!

IMMORTEL No. 1

Let's call it a 'mot-diese.'

IMMORTEL No. 40

This kiki is marvelous!

IMMORTEL No. 31

Dive, turn, work!

IMMORTEL No. 1

And so, it is done. Fin.