We know what you're thinking: The only thing missing from my ridiculously expensive, excessively tricked-out toilet is a USB port. Well it's time you welcomed your posh posterior to the 21st century, because Kohler's just released the second edition of its now $6,000 throne: the aptly named Numi Comfort Height. In addition to the aforementioned port, which will enable quicker software updates, the outfit has enhanced the commode with a Bluetooth receiver for streaming tunes to your tush; SD card reader for importing playlists and personalized welcome greetings; an accessible battery pack for flushing in the dark; and ambient lighting so you can keep the party going when it's time to take care of business. If that wasn't enough to elevate your toilet time, Kohler's lifted the seat to a more comfortable 18 inches, which it says "makes sitting down and standing up easier for most adults." So it still doesn't come in gold and you can't pay for it in Bitcoins, but those precious currencies have hit the skids anyway, right?