"Nothing gets you up in the morning like the things that keep you up at night." So goes a tagline on ALARMclock's Kickstarter page. Sure, we've seen other bedside timepieces that encourage alertness by making you use brain or body, but as its creator Fig says, ALARMclock doesn't wake you up, it "efficiently ends dreaming." Hazy images of flying unicorns will soon dissipate as ALARMclock reminds you of your "financial instability, social insecurity and fear of death." Simply made from a bamboo enclosure and 32 x 8 LED display, the heart of the sadistic clock is a WiFi-connected Raspberry Pi. Using a computer or mobile device, you can ask ALARMclock to pull your bank account balance (or other depressing personal finance info), aggregate the number of (virtual) friends you have or, worst of all, estimate your remaining life expectancy. A "morning dose of cold hard reality" is available for the next 20 days to pledges of $85 or more over at Kickstarter. While Fig is listed as the maker of ALARMclock, we can't help but think Aperture Science is involved somehow. Check out the pitch video to see what we mean.