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Crapgadget: 'All hope just might be lost' edition

Tell us, readers -- haven't you dreamt deeply about shoving your hand into a toasty, moist hamburger at work in order to warm your digits without cranking the thermostat and irritating the Antarctica-born top brass? And tell us, haven't you always wanted a USB hub that doubled as an airplane toy? And honestly, don't even try to act like you've never longed for a fine-toothed comb that would stick out from your MacBook Pro whilst waiting at an airport. Amazingly, all of these radical fantasies can now be your own personal reality, as an unknown amount of faceless companies have inexplicably produced these very items and listed them for sale. Sure, the recession may be "over," but "hope" is still a long, long way from being found.

Read - iPhone chocolate case
Read - Crab earphones
Read - 4-port USB Aeroplane hub
Read - Hamburger USB warmer pad
Read - Monkey USB warmer pad
Read - Metallic car USB flash drive
Read - Fine-toothed comb USB drive

Which Crapgadget would you take if your life depended on it?

Super Talent introduces world's first USB 3.0 flash drive

USB 3.0 devices are just now starting to peek their heads out at retail, and it looks as if Super Talent is doing its darnedest to not be left out of the spotlight. Said company has just introduced what looks to be the planet's first USB 3.0 thumb drive (or "RAIDDrive," as it were), promising transfer rates of up to 320MB/sec when relying on a separate UAS Protocol driver with a USB 3.0 port. If you're using a stock USB 3.0 socket, you'll see speeds as high as 200MB/sec, while those bold enough to slam this into a USB 2.0 connector will see it slow to USB 2.0 speeds. There's no mention of a price or release date, but it should ship relatively soon in 32GB, 64GB and 128GB flavors.

[Via Hot Hardware]

NVIDIA confirms Intel chipsets won't support USB 3.0 until 2011

What was once an unverifiable rumor from an anonymous source has now, sadly, become a confirmed fact. Intel won't be integrating USB 3.0 support into its chipsets until at least 2011. Motherboard makers such as ASUS can still opt to add discrete 3.0 controllers at an extra cost, but Intel -- already accused of dragging its heels on the standard's development -- won't be. NVIDIA spokesman Brian Burke has expressed, in no uncertain terms, his company's disappointment with Intel, while also claiming that chipsets by NVIDIA are more feature-rich and just plain better than Intel's own efforts. We'll add this to our ever-growing collection of things NVIDIA doesn't like about Intel, but we also hope that the immature outburst doesn't obscure the real issue. NVIDIA is correct in noting that Intel needs competition in the chipset space, and the new interconnect's dependence on Intel's whims demonstrates the market-altering powers that reside in Santa Clara, CA. Unless another chipmaker gets serious about competing with Intel, we could face plenty more of these seemingly arbitrary delays in tech rollouts.

IronKey ships uber-secure D200 USB flash drives

IronKey has never been one to shy away from sensational claims, but for whatever reason, it's announcing its newest secure drive in a rather low-key fashion. Or, somewhat so. The D200 range of USB flash drives are said to be more manageable and secure than ever, offering up the peace of mind necessary in government and enterprise scenarios. The new devices include policy enforcement, usability and field-maintenance capabilities, a dual-channel architecture for rapid transfers, the ability to double as an authentication token and a self-defense mechanism designed to resist "physical, malware and password attacks." It's available in 1/2/4/8/16GB capacities and should withstand most encounters with water and shock, though it's on you to dig up the presumably lofty MSRPs.

USB 3.0 and SATA 6G put to good use: benchmarks

The fine folks at both HotHardware and PC Perspective have run the new ASUS P7P55D-E Premium motherboard through its paces, which has the particular distinction of handling both USB 3.0 and the up-and-coming SATA 6G through controllers by NEC and Marvell, respectively. Lucky for us, both sites' tests came to similar conclusions. The Seagate Barracuda XT SATA 6G drive has almost zero improvement over SATA 3G, other than in some burst speeds due to the fancy cache on the 6G -- the bottleneck here is the drive, not the controller. Meanwhile, USB 3.0 has speeds that are roughly 5 to 6 times faster than USB 2.0 with the same drive, a huge win for fans of external storage the world over. Perhaps even better news is that an ASUS US36 controller card with USB 3.0 and SATA 6G support is a mere $30, so this stuff is already basically within reach to the average desktop user.

Read - HotHardware
Read - PC Perspective

Kids Guard USB stick is guaranteed to frustrate, encourage circumvention

The concept here is far from new, but that doesn't mean that the latest iteration isn't way more frustrating. For kids just looking to "discover themselves" somewhere on the world wide web, the Kids Online Guard USB Stick is a nightmare of the worst kind. Designed to keep your offspring away from files, websites and folders that you deem inappropriate, it seems to work by triggering limits when plugged in, and when unplugged, the whole PC likely locks everyone out. Of course, we're guessing that this is just the thing to train your kid to become the planet's next great circumventer / hacker, so if viewing this as a "training tool" makes you sleep easier, you can get one headed your way for $21.69.

[Thanks, Frank]

GlideTV Navigator gets a thorough hands-on and critiquing

If you're not down with snapping up an HTPC-centric keyboard with an integrated trackpad or trackball, controlling the likes of Hulu, Boxee and ZeeVee's Zinc TV viewer can be a real chore. Dave Zatz was able to wrap his paws around the problem-solving GlideTV Navigator, and while he deemed the actual remote trackpad "the best he'd ever used," he couldn't unequivocally say that this beauty was worth a buck-fifty. He also found that the remote could be used one-handed with a bit of practice, and he expressed understandable concern about this thing's ability to stay functional as the software around it evolves. If you've been waffling on pulling the trigger here, you owe it to yourself to give the read link a look.

Samsung LTE USB modem winds up in FCC database

Samsung's made some lofty boasts regarding its LTE support before, and here we go with some official documentation of US-bound products care of the FCC. The agency's database lists device A3LSLCU100 (catchy name, eh?) as a pre-production LTE USB modem from the company -- and that's about it. As for the usual fun of looking at over-saturated internal / external photos, good ol' Sammy's got a window of 180 days of confidentiality that started September 24th, so by our count, we've got potentially quite a while before we see something. The best we get now is this label outline above -- one more, equally nondescript shot after the break, if you're curious.

Bose Wave SoundLink wireless music system goes on sale today

Bose Wave SoundLink, the too-expensive, yet pretty OK looking wireless music system by the "too expensive, yet pretty OK looking" consumer electronics people over at Bose, has gone from rumor to reality as of today. Expect to pay $599.90 for the whole McGillicuddy or -- if you've already bought into the Bose Wave thing -- pick up that SoundLink upgrade kit featuring a USB Bluetooth dongle for a mere $149.95. A steal at a fraction of the price! PR after the break.

USB 3.0 held back by lack of Intel chipset support?

Ruh roh. A senior tech manager at a "top tier PC maker" has come out with some entirely unofficial and equally ominous thoughts on what he (or she) sees as the tough road to proliferation for SuperSpeed USB. Pointing out that the new interconnect "won't get real traction until it gets integrated in the chip sets," the source opines that Intel won't be offering motherboard integration before 2011 -- an assertion Intel has declined to comment on. AMD and NVIDIA have been vocal critics of what they see as purposeful delays by the Pentium maker, and if this latest scuttlebutt is accurate, their wild finger-pointing will have been at least somewhat vindicated. Although Intel did release the 3.0 controller spec eventually, this wouldn't be the first (or probably last) time when it has been seen to drag its feet where doing so is in its interest (eh hem, Light Peak). For our money, plenty of people who've been waiting for the new standard to show up in machines before pulling the trigger on an upgrade will be disappointed by such news, especially as 3.0 devices are just beginning to ship.

[Thanks, Jacob]

Dell SX2210T adds touchscreen functionality to 1080p panel (Update: multitouch!)

You asked, questioned and implored -- why, with all these underpowered touchscreen all-in-ones prowling our lands, can we not get a decent standalone touchscreen monitor? Well, somebody somewhere listened, and somebody else, presumably elsewhere, leaked. Presenting the entirely unofficial, but all the same real, Dell SX2210T: a 1920 x 1080 21.5-inch panel that has HDMI and DVI inputs alongside an integrated 2 megapixel webcam and microphone for your Skyping convenience. If its 1,000:1 contrast ratio and 2ms grey-to-grey response time sound familiar, it's because the non-touch sensitive SX2210 has been available for a while already. From the support documentation we're looking at, you'll need to hook up an extra USB connection for the touch interface, which doesnt appear to be multitouch, but we can always hope for a miraculous firmware update down the line, right?

Update: More info has surfaced on this monitor, which can now be purchased for $469 from Dell's online store, and will come with multtitouch panning and zooming when attached to a Windows 7 machine.

[Thanks, Bruce and dennispg]

USB PC Prankster: guaranteed to freak out, enrage your cubicle mates

Oh, brother. As we all know so well, the office can be a draining place. But devices such as these could make even the most burnt-out middle manager excited to clock in. The USB PC Prankster looks like a stock flash drive, but as you can clearly see above, a few toggle switches enable it to become quite the headache. Once plugged in, the unlucky PC that it's attached to will have its Caps Lock enabled and disabled at random, see garbled text splattered about quarterly reports and be victim to uncontrollable, erratic cursor movements. Thankfully, the drive will never activate the Enter key nor close or save documents, so you can rest assured that it's all in good fun. Turning your office up on its head costs just £19.99 ($33), but you'll have to wait a tick 'til it comes back in stock.

[Via Switched]

Clickfree adds hassle-free migration, other features to C2 backup drive (video)

Quite a lot has happened in the world of Clickfree since it went a little crazy at CES, but we're pretty jazzed about its latest effort. The predictably titled C2 is little more than a tweaked and refreshed version of the original backup-inclined external hard drive, but the boost in features makes this one worth considering. Available with a built-in USB cable and an even easier backup interface, the C2 can now handle automatic iPod music / playlist imports, direct-to-DVD burning, improved media sharing and a lovely migration feature that makes the arduous process of moving from Windows XP to Windows 7 a lesson in simplicity. The drive will be available in 250GB (C2 227; $139.00), 500GB (C2 527; $199.99) and 350GB sizes, with the latter to be made available in January 2010. So, are you finally done pushing aside the need to back your digital life up? Has Apple's increasingly lackadaisical software team taught us anything? Bizzare promo video is after the break.

GlideTV Navigator puts Media Center controls in the palm of your hand


Otherwise content users of Boxee or Hulu on the big screen in the living room, the tyranny of the keyboard and mouse may finally be over! GlideTV Navigator is a palm-sized remote control that features a trackpad and backlit AV buttons, just the thing to further enable your YouTube addiction beyond the confines of your computer nook. Works with Windows XP or Vista (we're assuming there's a Windows 7 version on tap as well), Mac OS X, and the Sony PS3, and the package includes a charging cradle and USB receiver. Sadly, the on-screen keyboard and integrated search apps are Windows only for the time being. Look to spend about $149 -- but not before peeping the gallery below.

Cables To Go Wireless USB Superbooster Extender might be as awesome as it sounds

We're not claiming to be experts on marketing or anything, but Cables To Go should really consider a name change. The outfit who's job it is to make your life one that's completely devoid of cables has pumped out yet another cord-free solution in the Wireless USB Superbooster Extender. Said device, which has an admittedly sensational name, is comprised of two pieces: a receiver that connects to your USB-equipped PC via a standard USB cable and a wireless dongle that connects to whatever USB device you'd like to make wireless (a printer, a scanner, a heated blanket, whatever). The kit provides cordless connectivity up to 150 feet (even through walls), though you'll be paying dearly to take advantage. How dearly? $189.99 -- yeah, that dearly.

[Via PC Launches]
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