See how easy it is everyone? All that's required to snag a BlackBerry Bold well before its public release is to become a Grammy award-winning artist, sell out shows worldwide, date a smattering of superstars and convince Fender to create and sell your own branded guitar. While you're off working on step one, John Mayer is living it up with his brand new BlackBerry Bold. Granted, he can't claim to be the very first with said handset, but it's likely the first completely legitimate edition let loose. Of course, once you've landed the Curve and MacBook Air before everyone else on the planet, snagging a Bold is just child's play.

We wouldn't bet the farm on this being true -- after all, it's a celebrity rumor -- but Us Magazine has it that Apple's Steve Wozniak may be engaged to loudmouth Kathy Griffin. Apparently, Kathy was spotted rocking "what appeared to be an engagement ring" at the Emmys, and when questioned about it, she simply stated that she doesn't "kiss and tell." Of course, Kathy has made known that the two are in some sort of relationship, but whether she's well on her way to becoming Woz's wife (or if she's the elusive genius behind Apple's next cash cow) remains to be seen.

[Via The Raw Feed]

Joining the growing list of celebrities who can't quit using their cellphones to beat up on others is Foxy Brown, who was recently "charged with assault and possession of a weapon" after allegedly hitting a neighbor with her BlackBerry. Of course, this isn't the first time Foxy's temper has flared up, but when she was confronted over the volume of her stereo system, the handset came out (a few days later, mind you) for purposes other than texting, talking, or capturing the impending battle for future viewing. So, you may be wondering how much damage a flung BlackBerry can do, and if that's the case, here's your answer: the victim was left with a cut lip and a loose tooth.

We've been a little bummed that since Google's launch of its Patent search engine we haven't had the time to pore over it yet, but thankfully not everyone is preparing for CES. Ironic Sans unearthed no less than 18 bizarre and unusual celebrity patents by entertainment A-lisers not normally renowned for following in the footsteps of Dean Kamen. Obviously our pick for favorite was Eddie Van Halen's "musical instrument support" which makes two handed shredding that much easier (really though, did the patent drawing need to be shirtless too?), although other curiosities include Hedy Lamar's "secret communication system", Jamie Lee Curtis's "infant garment" diaper design, Lawrence Welk's "Welk ash tray", Goerge Lucas's patent on a demonic Yoda toy figure design, Penn Jillette's sexually jilted "hydro-therapeutic stimulator" hot tub (what? possibly NSFW), and perhaps the mostly slyly odd, Michael Jackson's "Method and means for creating anti-gravity illusion". We highly recommend perusing these patents -- much is to be gained from peering into the minds of the world's greatest celebrity / inventors, whose creations may one day truly touch the lives of the everyman.