Tycoons of the world, get out your pocketbooks. Actually, wait, scratch that -- kick back, relax, and let your butler do it for you, because Vertu has a new multi-thousand dollar toy for your enjoyment. The FCC has revealed that Nokia's ultra-luxe division has finally updated its flagship Signature model to include 3G, and they've taken the opportunity to completely redesign it to make it slimmer, hotter, and presumably, pricier than ever before. The all-new Signature features quadband EDGE, HSDPA on the 850 and 2100MHz bands, and WiFi -- a Vertu first -- which means we should probably expect a fabulous browser to go with that generously-proportioned OLED display. Well, we can't, since we'll never get closer than a thick sheet of security glass to this thing -- but someone can.

Update: The phone's officially been unveiled on Vertu's site as the Signature S Design, hitting a boutique you can't get into unless you're dressed to impress near you come next month.

See, here's the thing about Vertu phones: anyone who's wealthy enough to afford one probably wants (and can afford) more than one, probably doesn't care about newfangled goodies like 3G or a large, high resolution display, and probably keeps a Ferrari or two in the garage. On that note we give you the "Ascent Ferrari 60," the Nokia division's second Ferrari-themed handset. Unlike the first -- which happened to also be an Ascent -- the Ferrari 60 features a shift gate on its posterior instead of a brake pedal, which clearly makes it worth the €18,000 (about $25,370) asking price. Of course, that hefty cost of admission also nets you an elaborately fashioned storage box, a Vertu Aerius headset, and an actual valve out of a Ferrari F1 car, so the 60 lucky sons of guns that grab this thing are in for a treat (if valves and outdated Bluetooth headsets are your thing). Check it out at Nokia's London, Paris, Singapore, and Hong Kong locations.

[Via Autoblog, thanks Kane]

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You've gotta give credit to Vertu for maximizing the life of its Signature and Ascent models by tweaking colors and precious metals ad nauseam, but at some point, you knew they had to just gut the thing and start anew. This here "Ascent Ti" just passed through the FCC, taking the Ascent formula and updating key specs to bring the luxury phone well into 2007. Namely, the Ascent Ti offers UMTS 2100 (for 3G data pretty much everywhere but here), a whopping 3 megapixel autofocus camera with flash, and what appears to be a well-updated, Vertu customized build of Series 40. No word on release date, but unless your last name happens to be "Rockefeller," you may need the time to save the dough anyway.

Stealing £3 million ($5.94 million) worth of mobile phones sure sounds like a risky way to may a buck, but if you're going to jack mobile handsets, you might as well swipe the ones that depreciate the least, eh? A crew of four men in Europe apparently agreed with that mantra, as they got up the nerve to run a Vertu van off the road with their Subaru and reportedly swiped a fair amount of handsets before darting off. There was no word on just how many phones were actually stolen, but we're sure the boys in blue found a fully stocked trunk after it located the crashed vehicle in Slough, Banks. Two of the four masked bandits were later captured and arrested for their part in the heist, but the other duo is probably trying to figure out how in the world they would unload hordes of these highly sought after mobiles without garnering suspicion in the first place.

[Via BGR]

When you think about it, Vertus and Ferraris have a lot in common: just as Ferraris give a select few the opportunity to spend an insane amount of cash on an object that provides little more value than a, say, $1,000 used car, Vertu offers a product with little additional value (and in some cases, less value) than phones offered free from carriers. Of course, you can't put a price on status, so getting these two status symbols to hook up and co-brand a device seems like a match made in heaven (more appropriate than a Ferrari-branded Moto, for example). The "Ferrari Challenge" rendition of the Ascent -- in red and black leather -- is limited to 1,947 examples (can that many people in the world really afford this thing?), each featuring a couple well-placed Ferrari logos and some weird thing on the back that's apparently supposed to look like a brake pedal. Look for it to grace your local Vertu retailer in July -- but please don't use it while driving, lest you destroy your real Ferrari, k?

[Via Autoblog, thanks to everyone who sent this in]

What's there really to know here? Small luxury phone manufacturer goes insane, slaps a pair of hugemongous diamonds, two emeralds and 439 rubies on to an absolutely garish cobra, glues it to a lame-ass phone and sells the setup for $310,000? Pretty much. We can only take solace in the fact that only 8 of these Signature Cobra phones will be made by Vertu and its partner in crime, French jeweler Boucheron. There's also a "cheap" version, the $115k Signature Python, which is due for a production run 26 strong, but if you're actually going to spring for something this ridiculous, why not go all the way, right?

[Via SlashPhone; Thanks Trae M]

Purchasing a single Vertu handset probably qualifies as conspicuous consumption in most social circles. What term, then, can be used to describe the act of purchasing every model in the company's limited-edition "Racetrack Legends" series along with a matching, handcrafted, carbon fiber display case? We're not sure, but needless to say, we've added this puppy to our "things to buy when we make our first billion" list. As a refresher, the Racetrack Legends handsets hail from Vertu's Ascent line of phones / fashion accessories; with a tri-band GSM radio (no EDGE) and no camera, the meager tech specs have no bearing on the MSRP whatsoever, but you'll get six of the world's greatest race tracks neatly engraved on the handsets' posteriors -- which is more than we can say for pretty much any phone we've ever used. For the record, the last two handsets to be released in the series are Monaco and Nürburgring, which can also be purchased independently of their lavish case. We don't have the list price for any of these goodies in front of us at the moment, but we're not sure we want to know.

[Via Autoblog]

Ever since their Ascent Motorsport Edition withstood five rollovers by a Porsche Boxster, we've taken Nokia's Vertu luxury handset division much more seriously, and you'll never again hear us questioning the logic of spending $X on one of their products (where X = some obscenely large number). The company's newest designs, called the Racetrack Legends series, each pay tribute to one of six of the greatest circuits on Earth and are limited to 1000 units apiece, with outlines of Italy's Monza and Britain's Silverstone etched onto the back of the first two releases. When you're in the market for a Vertu phone, features are surely not your top priority, and the Legends series meets those expectations with nary a notable spec other than the inclusion of Bluetooth and tri-band GSM connectivity. Likewise, if you have to ask about pricing on these, you're probably not part of the target demographic.

[Via Luxist]