Fujitsu P7000

This is the academia remix of Judge Dredd. Berkeley genetics professor Jasper Rine had his laptop nicked by a student, presumably after an exam paper to enable cheating. In the lecture following, Rine calls out the thief in front of the class and unveils some details about all the nasty government and industry heavies he works for when not playing the role of mild-mannered biology professor — and how all those nasties have vested interest in recovering some top secret data on that laptop (audio of the nasty bits of the lecture is available). Returning the computer might get the FBI and the SEC off this kid's back, but you gotta know this won't look good on his permanent record.

[Thanks, Bryan]

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Don't steal laptops from Berkeley professors. Ever.