Giant Swiss Army Knife offers 85 tools

Wenger, the manufacturer of the classic Swiss Army Knife, has revealed a 9-inch long, 2-pound "knife" which carries 85 instruments, or: almost every tool that has ever been on a Swiss Army Knife, ever. The list includes seven different knives, a golf shoe spike wrench, a bike chain rivet setter, and a laser pointer with a 300ft range (but where's the freakin' USB flash drive?). Presumably this is so seasoned golfers can tune their bicycle's rivets before heading off on a deer hunt / cycling trip armed with blinding lasers and an entire collection of 3-inch knives. An equivalent "indoor" do-it-all gadget would feature Apple's entire iPod line-up, a SCSI to Parallel adapter and the collective consciousness of the Engadget staff in BBS form, contained in the form factor of a combination Bluetooth headset / wristwatch.

[Thanks, William S]

[Sander Scamper @ Aug 24th 2006 6:41AM]

Not so much a knife as a giant board of flick-out gadgetry.

[Bryan @ Aug 24th 2006 6:44AM]

That must be a joke, right?

[Chris @ Aug 24th 2006 6:56AM]

The flash drive is in competitor (now owner) Victorinox's product range ...

[Ades @ Aug 24th 2006 7:03AM]

That logo doesnt look like the Real Swiss Army Knife logo.

[Stephen Almada @ Aug 24th 2006 7:04AM]

sweet
now i can brush my teeth,
wipe my ass,
and check my tempature.......
in that order

[Ben @ Aug 24th 2006 7:20AM]

Saw a comment here before that has now vanished about this not being from Victorinox so its not real. I sort of felt the same way but I just did some googling and it turns out that Victorinox bought Wenger in April 2005. You could still consider Wenger a lower end brand or something but its one company anyway.

[Gary M @ May 7th 2007 9:47AM]

Happen to be looking at your response from last year, and you are incorrect about the standing and quality of Wenger knives vs. Victorinox.

1. Both are the only ones approved by the Swiss Confederation(Swiss Army) to manufacturer a specific unit for their soldiers(called the Standard Issue).
2. Victorinox was always a larger company in worldwide sales, but Wenger sold more knives in North America.
3. As the quality of both companies products are equal for the most part, Wenger tools are superior in design and function; ie. scissors is serrated and has no spring to fail. Screwdriver is self-locking and will not fold back in to the body of the knife while in use.

Always a matter of personal tastes, Wenger is equal(if not superior) in form and function.

[Daking @ Aug 24th 2006 7:20AM]

the company is wergner, which makes swiss army knives. that is why the logo looks different, Ades.

I think its not practical unless you go living in the woods and you need a bycicle rivet setter for some reason...

[Ihar `Philips` Filipau @ Aug 24th 2006 7:36AM]

Hm. I have counted 86. Did they forgot to include "throwing brick" into the list of tools? ;)

[Z @ Aug 24th 2006 7:48AM]

Stephen Almada wrote:

"sweet
now i can brush my teeth,
wipe my ass,
and check my tempature.......
in that order"
____________________________

Or if someone's a butthead, they could do all that at once.


But joking aside, this thing apprarently is very real and can be all yours for $1200 USD. What are they, nuts?!? How on earth is a person supposed to hold this clumsy thing in their hand? The ergonomics are all wrong. This thing would be unusable. I think rethinking it and scaling back with a redesign are in order.

And I thought my SwissChamp XLT was big. Crikey. I mean, I wouldn't mind seeing some additions to the XLT, but this thing is ridiculous!

[reed @ Nov 16th 2007 10:48AM]

some sites offer them for less: $950
http://theknifewarehouse.com/catalogz/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=21742

[mike @ Aug 24th 2006 8:23AM]

if macguyver had that the episode would last 5 minutes.

[zuricher @ Aug 24th 2006 8:32AM]

actually there are two companies that produce swiss army knifes... one is wenger http://www.wenger-knife.ch/ with the pictured army knife above, and one is victorinox http://www.victorinox.ch/

the original swiss army knife is produced by victorinox (which also supplies the swiss army, but all you get is a real basic-basic knife, nothing fancy)
victorinox and not wenger produces the usb-flash army knifes, along with altimeter-knifes, etc.
but both companies produce very high quality knifes. if you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact mr. guyver

[Joe Mamma @ Aug 24th 2006 8:50AM]

This would be great for a back alley surgeon/dentist. If the cops catch you in the middle of a job, you'd only have one tool to grab before you ran. (I'm assuming it has a coat hanger in it?)

[Perrey Z. @ Aug 24th 2006 8:57AM]

Try sneaking this baby inside an airplane, you'll be escorted out faster than you can say "paranoid frenzy".

[Dan @ Aug 24th 2006 8:59AM]

One would have to use two hands to hold it when using it.

...Let me just tighten this screw here using this two pound chunck of metal...unf.

[Gumjo @ Aug 24th 2006 9:30AM]

I thought the company made "pocket" knives. This is ridiculous!

[jason @ Aug 24th 2006 10:27AM]

Holy Cow that's more tools then I have in my tool box!

[Alcoholic Zombie @ Aug 24th 2006 10:35AM]

I just wonder if it can open human skulls so I can get to the juicy brainy center faster! Yum!

[Spiritwolf @ Aug 24th 2006 10:39AM]

At Geneva's airport, there was a pocket knife (as we call them here in switzerland) on display that had 2000 blades. It was for sale of course but can't remember the price.

As I read in another comment, Victorinox is the official Swiss army knife supplier for the military in Switzerland and they bought Wenger not so long ago...

[Antonio Hernandez @ Aug 24th 2006 10:44AM]

This thing is only like a collection item, there is no way you can use it. If have the cash I will love to buy it, I have like 80+ knifes of Wenger and Victorinox and still like to buy more!

[Kevin Sedgley @ Aug 24th 2006 11:06AM]

Kitchen sink?

[Rob Sayers @ Aug 24th 2006 11:53AM]

This is obviously not meant to be useful, just a collectors item. Having a swiss army knife fetish myself, I'd love to own one.

And I have to disagree with the quality of Wenger knives. I own several from both Wenger and Victorinox, and the Wenger knives seem to be made very cheap in comparison.

[riley @ Aug 24th 2006 12:41PM]

Can you imagine how bumbed you'd be if you showed up at an airport and someone took that away!

You'd probably try to fight them off...

[Wyatt_Z @ Aug 24th 2006 1:49PM]

Is that a dental probe near the middle?

[jnasato @ Aug 24th 2006 3:09PM]

AHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's great.

[phreel0aderr @ Aug 24th 2006 4:50PM]

So with all this have they figured out what the hook "tool" is for yet?

[Dave @ Aug 24th 2006 7:46PM]

For all of you talking about how pointless/useless this is, you should probably know that this is more of a promo item to show all the different stuff that's been on swiss army knives through the years, not a serious attempt at making a useful knife.

[Jasper @ Aug 24th 2006 11:34PM]

Wow, I wonder if you could wire tap phone lines with that; someone should let the NSA know.

[Drealoth @ Aug 25th 2006 3:00AM]

That's 86 tools - in addition to a screwdriver, it can be used as a club.

[Pepe @ Aug 25th 2006 1:05PM]

Check out the offerings at http://www.victorinox.ch/index.cfm?site=victorinox.ch&page=9&lang=E They even have one with IT tools "CyberTool" (without USB) and it is quite useful. Phreel0aderr, the "hook" is used for carrying things and for helping in tying nots with twine...

[Onibus @ Aug 25th 2006 3:19PM]

Sweet, does that Swiss Army Knife come with Thief Deterant?

*cue Sprint commercial*

[TriksR4Kds @ Aug 25th 2006 7:51PM]

Put a hat on it and call it Inspector Gadget. How the heck is it supposed to fit in my pocket now?

[Prester Dave @ Aug 26th 2006 9:23AM]

Now, add a "Hello Kitty" logo, and you've got yourself another sale!

[Afterthought @ Aug 27th 2006 7:35PM]

Victorinox is the "original" or military SAK, Wenger is considered the "scout". Wenger has useful knives too, it just depends on what you use SAKs for. They make watches too...I just came back from Switzerland (where SAKs and watches and chocolates and Audis and Bimmers are abundant) and I got a nice Wenger watch...only 125 francs!

But anyway, i have seen this humongous knife...it's absolutely ridiculous in size and price. But then again, i was in Switzerland...everything is ridiculously priced (except chocolate, most of the time).

p.s. theft deterrant? just swing it in the direction of the thief, problem solved.

[bybybybyby @ Aug 28th 2006 8:33PM]

cool.....i had swiss cheese earlier

[JWellesley @ Aug 28th 2006 9:29PM]

Too bad they didn't show the French Army Knife......no special tools, just six corkscrews......

[robin @ Aug 28th 2006 9:49PM]

they should consider making an ipod accessory version

[John Ruth @ Aug 28th 2006 10:14PM]

Hey great now I wanta patent the pants that have a pocket for this knife!!

[D Draper, Arizona @ Aug 28th 2006 10:59PM]

I'm assuming this is a pocket knife. You better enlarge your pocket size.

[Danny Chilton @ Aug 28th 2006 11:36PM]

Stephen Almada wrote:

"sweet
now i can brush my teeth,
wipe my ass,
and check my tempature.......
in that order"

Yes, Stephen, but which attachment did you use to spell "temperature"? Was it the Swiss Army dictionary or the Swiss Army "Hooked on Phonics" CD?
____________________________

[Tom @ Aug 29th 2006 12:14AM]

Where is the jack that I could use to change a flat tire on my car?

[Dicky @ Aug 29th 2006 1:16AM]

Once you go Victorinox you never go Wenger. I got my first Victorinox over 30 years ago.

[kachina321 @ Aug 29th 2006 1:21AM]

WELL SOMEONE UP ABOVE THIS MESSAGE ASKED "IF HE HAS NOW FOUND THE PERFECT TOOL TO GO CAMPING WITH"? HE SAID HE CAN NOW SCALE HIS FISH KILL A BEAR AND WIPE HIS BUTT WITH ONE TOOL. I AM GUESSING THE KIND OF CAMPER HE IS. HE WILL BE USING THE CORK SCREW TO DO HIS WIPING...GOOD LUCK ON THE DRIVE HOME BROTHER!!!

[George @ Aug 29th 2006 1:43AM]

Good Tool. Lightload Towels is also quite a tool. The swiss and Lightloads can be used in the same breadth.

[Wwejackass12 @ Aug 29th 2006 2:23AM]

And I thought I had seen everythong. This tool is useless and illogical. 1,200 US Dollars for an item that someone would appreciate when they purchase it, and discard it anyways. This isn't a tool. It's a novelty item, and nothing more. Why don't these companies spend their time and money on more useful items? I doubt this will have may sales.

[Justin @ Aug 29th 2006 2:25AM]

Wow Now I Can Become McGuyver with this tool. What a great invention, it's almost like duct tape.

[cory @ Aug 29th 2006 4:44AM]

Damn, I just wanna throw this thing towards someone not looking and yell, CATCH!!!!!!!!

[edward @ Aug 29th 2006 9:07AM]

I don't see a fork and a spoon as was on the original. I still want one just to admire. How much?

[Peter @ Aug 29th 2006 9:30PM]

The Swiss Army doesn't do anything. When was the last time the Swiss Army did anything except to declare being neutral? That is why they have more time to play with gadgets.