Battlefield-ready iRobots roll into Washington

Considering India, South Korea, and Germany are apparently already stocking up on robotic replacements to man their respective armies, we Americans better get on the ball. We've known the Pentagon has been on a quest to find autonomous replacements to tried and true human soldiers, and it looks like help is on the way from our favorite floor-cleaning supplier, iRobot. Holding true to prior expectations, the company's products were out in full force at the Association of the United States Army show, as a myriad of self-directed 'bots induced frightening thoughts of mutiny and widespread anarchy. The "armed and dangerous" bevy of creations boasted automatic shotguns, bomb launchers, precision sniper rifles, infrared cameras, and even a 30-caliber chaingun. The machines were touted as "lifesavers," insinuating that their presence on the battlefield would allow soldiers to hang back out of harm's way -- but we aren't exactly certain how these deadly automatons actually distinguish between friendlies and foes. Nevertheless, we're working under the assumption that unlike more "chore-friendly versions," these iRobots won't be seeing any shelf time outside of maximum security armories -- but it's for our own good, anyway.

[Via MobileMag]

[Splitime @ Oct 13th 2006 1:59PM]

How about another Engadget relaunch prize? ^^^^^ hint hint....

[Kaze @ Oct 13th 2006 2:01PM]

I for one, welcome our chaingun toting, lifesaving overlords.


So when everyone is using robots to fight wars, what's the point?

[CJ @ Oct 13th 2006 3:43PM]

@Kaze

Whats the point of war all together?
The guys that start it never fight in it... they use humans as their drones instead of machine no?

[sunz @ Oct 13th 2006 2:08PM]

The True Victors in the Robot Wars will be the Ones that Master the Integration of Man and Machine. Adaptabilty and Human Ingenuity will (i think) never be surpose by even the most intelligent Computer. This is simply because of our ability to think outside of logic (the box).

-sun

[Yoyodyn @ Oct 13th 2006 2:25PM]

"So when everyone is using robots to fight wars, what's the point?"

Exactly. We should just go back to playing chess to solve land disputs.

[Chris Moroz @ Oct 13th 2006 2:09PM]

"Let's add some machine guns to our robot."

"But what about eyes?"

"Good question... I know, grab that Logitech WebCam and stick it between the guns!!"

And hasn't the Army seen Short Circuit?

[Chris @ Oct 13th 2006 2:08PM]

I like the logitech camera.

[sunz @ Oct 15th 2006 6:12PM]

yeah i meant surpassed ..lol .. 'will never be surpassed'
-sun

[R @ Oct 13th 2006 2:31PM]

I, for one, welcome our- HOLY %$@&! GET DOWN! GET DOWN!

[Greg Thompson @ Oct 13th 2006 2:17PM]

I can't wait till these things start getting corporate sponsorship and we can track their kills on-line. I see a whole new product line of toys, sports betting, and "celebrity" controlled bots. The world will be run by us geeks, like WoW raids, but on real targets with iRobots! I for one look forward to not knowing who's at my door, death-weilding-rival-"clan"-controlled-bot, or friendly human?

Leaderboard:
Fata1ity Bot has 5127 confirmed kills
Wal-Mart Bot has 140 confirmed kills
Geico Bot has 109 confirmed kills
AT&T Bot has 124 confirmed kills

[Jim @ Oct 13th 2006 2:25PM]

Might as well build in an iRobot Roomba vacuum and make it twice as useful. You can do the floors and kill intruders at the same time.

[JS @ Oct 13th 2006 2:26PM]

Depending on their OS underpinnings and how the bot reacts open loop, blue screen of death could take on a whole new meaning.

[Kyle @ Oct 13th 2006 2:33PM]

Remember, our mission isn't to stop Judgement Day, it's only to survive it.

[octoberhungry @ Oct 13th 2006 2:34PM]

Remember ED-209 from the film Robocop? Well this looks like we're on the way to Mk1 version of it! :)

[The Jeremy @ Oct 13th 2006 2:35PM]

They'd look meaner if they added a toilet plunger for an arm. Bring on the Daleks!

[AlexD @ Oct 13th 2006 2:44PM]

All we need is pep-talk from Robin Williams in front of some classic toys with Tom Selleck at his side and, VOILA, crisis averted.

[Eric L @ Oct 13th 2006 2:59PM]

Okay, this calls for a comment thread product naming competition.

Unfortunately, I have no good entries.

ShooBa? StreetsweeperBa?

[Mark @ Oct 13th 2006 3:05PM]

Where's Azimov's Three Laws of Robotics? Automated to do what exactly? Move anything that shoots? Next, there will be a floating syringe with an instant death injection floating around trying to kill Muadeeb, err wait.

[Tom @ Oct 13th 2006 3:05PM]

I figured out how to kill one of these things if you see it - run like buggery towards it, ducking a weaving (Ever seen footage of how slow they are to aim?) jump on top of it, prize one of its own guns off, and give it hell!

Or, if you are feeling more creative, leap on top of it, and somehow fiddle it so you can control it yourself, hence having your own mini battle tank.

[Cypheros @ Aug 9th 2007 10:32PM]

"I figured out how to kill one of these things if you see it - run like buggery towards it, ducking a weaving (Ever seen footage of how slow they are to aim?) jump on top of it, prize one of its own guns off, and give it hell!"

So all that ducking and weaving I learned from counterstrike works afterall?????? Awesome!

[Mark @ Oct 13th 2006 3:07PM]

Wait, strike that. Shoot anything that moves...

[Ari B. @ Oct 13th 2006 3:24PM]

The Cylons were created by man...
They rebelled...

:-)

[sammy mazola jr� @ Oct 13th 2006 3:20PM]

Let's pray our enemies don't discover stilts.

[nabicht @ Oct 13th 2006 3:31PM]

Johnny Five Alive!

[Naegling @ Oct 13th 2006 3:41PM]

is that a $30 logitech camera in the middle? Man talk about sophistication...

[k3n85 @ Oct 13th 2006 3:42PM]

We should just build a bunch, get some wireless controllers, and have CounterStrike LAN party. Could wipe out a Iraq base in no time... Korea, bring it.

[The Rev @ Oct 13th 2006 3:50PM]

why, why did they have to flip the guns to make it look like two big eyes

[christomapher @ Oct 13th 2006 3:51PM]

myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad myriad

There. I used "myriad" for the rest of the articles you guys will write for this week. Now you can use a different word.

[Ed T @ Oct 13th 2006 4:12PM]

This thing would last about five minutes in a real battlefield. A ten year old kid with a rock could render it useless.

[Todd @ Oct 13th 2006 4:13PM]

Just for an idea as to how this is all going to end I highly recommend the following reference material:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/08/29

http://imdb.com/title/tt0133093/

http://imdb.com/title/tt0088247/

[emceay @ Oct 13th 2006 4:20PM]

"So when everyone is using robots to fight wars, what's the point?"

When the country that lost is faced with waves of soul-less stares from the vacant cameras of thousands of killbots... They'll realize a point - To keep killbots off their soil.

"Exactly. We should just go back to playing chess to solve land disputs."

When a sore loser loses at chess, they spill all the pieces instead of acknowloging they lost. When a gladiator loses, he dies. No questions about who lost. Although it's a massive game of chess, at the end, the loser is stuck with the winner's pieces in their yard. You don't have to take a life to make a threat, having masses of dual assault rifle toting machine up close and personal with the enemy is threat enough to make political change.

[Wyatt_Z @ Oct 13th 2006 4:44PM]

This'd pwn in Battle Bots.

[Scott @ Oct 13th 2006 4:55PM]

Who knew 1984 would be so delayed?

[kyle allen @ Oct 13th 2006 8:46PM]

so there guna have a bunch of battle bots fight eacgoter, and they think thats guna stop people from killing eachother?

[Ivan Kirigin @ Oct 13th 2006 11:53PM]

"but we aren't exactly certain how these deadly automatons actually distinguish between friendlies and foes."

100% of deployed unmanned ground vehicles are fully teleoperated.

There will only possibly be automated firing on systems used for extreme security, like nuclear weapon storage.

Automated target detection and tracking will certainly help the effort though. With the time lag and difficulty of remote operation, automated aiming will literally be a life saver -- for friendlies.

[Oddmanout @ Oct 13th 2006 11:50PM]

Yes...the ammo cans. They rather do evoke eyes.

If they absolutely had to use a Logitec camera for this machines sight, they should have used two, and placed one in the center cavity of each ammo can. Not only would the 'eyes' have been higher for a better field of vision, having two would allow this thing to have some depth
perception. Not soooo important for sighting (since you only tdo it with one eye) but it would help this bot negotiate terain better.

Of course, if they did that, the temptation to put a white and red applique on the ammo cans, thus simulating two grotusquely huge and blood shot eyes might have been irresistable.

"Meth 'bots up FRONT!"

As for the robots eventually running amok...


'Take a chance...'

[interlard @ Oct 14th 2006 1:23AM]

The other comments were funny.

But I see that I am the only one to be a little bothered that the Roomba they bought (and encouraged their friends to buy) was used to fund a weapon that allows the murder to never see their victim.

The end is truly here.

[Monsieur Pearly Pig @ Oct 30th 2006 4:03PM]

Looks like you'll be alright if you're upstairs, or behind it. Or to the side of it. Or in a forest. In fact if you're not stood still at the end of a shooting range this thing won't get you.

I don't think it'd hear you sneaking up on it either...