Continuing the trend of wild
Cupertino-related rumors, while simultaneously bringing to mind an old joke about Microsoft and GM, a German magazine is claiming that
Apple and
Volkswagen have entered into discussions over a concept vehicle to be dubbed -- you guessed it -- the iCar. If you believe what they say, the two companies are in the early stages of planning for an
entire line of new VWs that would incorporate Apple-sourced designs and features. Given that we've seen the firms
collaborate in the past, this isn't too far out there -- though we wouldn't go wagering on this rumor, either. As you can see below, the Engadget gang chimed in on the news, but what do
you think the iCar would be like?
Ryan: "Can hit 100Mph, can't hit 100Kbps."
Evan: "The scroll wheel would be hard to steer in sharp turns."
Paul: "Give it a few weeks and you should be breaking 25Mph no sweat."
Nilay: "It only uses one kid of gas!"
Josh: "I hear it doesn't have 3G either."
Chris: "Internal combustion engines were stupid until we decided to use them."
Dante: "White."
[Via
AppleInsider, image courtesy of
Chris3D]
posted Aug 29th 2007 8:26PM
Prevents you from removing family from back seat and transporting them in any other kind of car...
Yea, it would also be much like a Civic: overrated, overpriced and somehow still popular.
also comes with a non-user refillable gas tank. must be sent into service for replacement. Loan iCar available for a nominal fee.
I bet it wont be at all "creative"
It would have an assortment of widgets on the dashboard. :)
@mikey
If the gas tank didn't need to be refilled for over 2 years with normal driving habits, I'd be sold in a second.
If you get into an accident (even fender bender) it cannot be repaired, only taken in and replaced for 1/3 of what you paid for it.
It would run at 120mph and get 300mpg, but would only allow you to drive on 3% of the roads, many of which aren't connected.
Everything from your driving gloves to the clothes you wear while driving must be Apple or Griffin branded.
It will come in white and black.
The headlights will be Apple-logo-shaped headlights. They turn themselves on at 7pm and off at 7am without fail, even if it's dark earlier, or you aren't in the car at the time. But that's one less switch you need to deal with!
Anybody care to explain why the picture says 1999 on it? That might lead someone to believe that it was drawn 8 years ago. It wasn't... right?
multi-touch HD windshield :D
Chris, it is designed in the likeness of a clam shell which is no longer in production. Probably was drawn in 99. Good catch.
It will have only one pedal, which is the brake.
You'll have to push down on the horn while pressing the pedal to accelerate.
Does it have to be shipped to China to fill the gas tank?
Yankees368: Sound system only has 1 speaker (for those of you who don't get it, no A2DP)
Well it could be an analogy for a one-button mouse.
Leopard=A2DP
No fm radio cuz who needs radio
No removable battery.
Will it blend... yes the whole thing.
There's only one pedal to accelerate, brake, and shift.
Ha Ha!
The gearbox is completely automatic - it guesses when you want reverse.
To brake, you have to hold down the horn and then press on the gas.
Will it be OSX based? Will it be announced September 5th!?!?!
Breaking from tradition, includes 2 button horn.
It will probably come with a nice translucent flower vase next to the steering wheel.
Every time you use a feature for the first time, the synthesized voice of Steve Jobs says "BOOM!"
synthesized? who are you...do you still play micheal jacksons moonwalker on your sega genesis and love the "micheal" sound bites?
wtf! im a king again!
zoot ziit
Only turns right, because also turning left would be too complicated... and who needs to turn left, anyway?
"I turned left!" - Derek Zoolander
NASCAR, that's all they do
Before being able to drive off, the iCar will check for the latest Firmware upgrades, that don't guarantee backwards compatibility with existing roads.
Running bootcamp, your family will be locked in the car and can't find a way out.
Correction... why turn left when you can make three rights, instead?
sounds like FEDEX to me.
Maybe you mean UPS?
No, it's DHL. And while there... why delivery a package by setting it on the porch, when you can just toss it in the driveway and break it for sure.
I can't say much for the car,
but I'm sure it would only come in a few colors, be only available at 1 dealership
and anyone who waits in line to buy one wont shut up about it
Hmm... Sounds familiar:)
Comes in white, and black... only black paint adds a 7% premium on the price.
you guys are choads. Does Microsoft get this kind of treatment for all it's automotive collaboration?
I guess you all just got apple envy. It's really very sad.
Cripes, Billy... if you lighten up a bit, you might actually get a chuckle out of some of these. Go on... give it a try! You can do it!
Billy, Billy, Billy!
i'm a "fanboy" and i still find these hilarious.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYY!!!!!
(Jim Carey in The Cable Guy)
Are you kidding, If Microsoft did a car it would get MORE attention...
OF course it would be stuff about only driving for 5 minutes before having to restart. Or the car coming with 12 different floormats that are only partially usable until you pay an activation fee and can only be partially removed if you don't want them.
And don't even get me started on a zunecar.
fyi, I dig the image engadget used. Any car that looks like it was designed by Dr. Suess is ok by me.
AWww, look at teh pwetty fanboyyy
A microsoft car? Oh, wow. I'll start this one off for you:
"AAAHHHHH MY TIRES ARE FRAGMENTI-WHAMWHAMCRUNCHWHAPBAM."
"No, officer, seriously-- the _car_ crashed, not me! No really, see first the.."
... @50mph:
Your car has failed the Microsoft Genuine Advantage test. Now initiating reduced functionality mode. "What the-- MY BRAKES DONT WORK!! AAAAAAAAAA---"
Wow, that car looks niiiiiice. Hey, what kind of engine does it have?
--A two stroke V3, why?
Yeah, my back windshield got cracked...
--Oh, you probably got hit by a bug.
Isn't the iCar the Mercedes SL500 without the license plate?
iCar: a new motivation for hackers to hack OSX. "Warning. A security threat has been discovered that will allow 3rd parties to take control of your iCar while driving it."
Someone would try and unlock it to let you use your honda keys for it
No, they would try to unlock it to let you use non-shell gas.
Sunroof-500$
turbo-1800$
smug atttitude-priceless
There will only be one pedal, and it will by default brake. If you press a button on the dashboard at the same time, it will accelerate instead.
Great one!
People will make long lines when iDealers start selling them, even though most people on the lines don't even know how to drive.
Driving wheel will be tiny and awkward. But if you can't use it, you're just an idiot or something.
More iCar features:
- has a Shuffle function that automatically drives you to random locations from your Address Book;
- replaces the wheel with a touch screen;
- comes in a sport package with *-liter quad-turbocharged W16 engine (Car Pro);
- can emulate the Windows engine (but the reverse is not possible);
- can reverse the course of time to claim having invented everything from the windshield wipers to the lateral airbags, and more;
- oh, and one more thing...
It'll require you to sign a 3 years contract with Exxon (or Esso for us canadians)! hehe
It will have the option when you key the ignition to start-up as another car.
"So you can drive to all your movie houses, record stores, keynotes and contemporary art festivals in your iCar, and then you can reboot it as a Pontiac GTO or Hummer to go to anywhere else or have some fun! And with Parallels or VMWare you can do these at the same time!"
It would include several revolutionary, never-before-seen features including:
1. 4 wheels
2. a steering wheel
3. doors that open
and, of course, it would have no windows, and wouldn't allow a GPS to be installed.
It comes in black and white choices, but black costs more.
Also, any other car that ever incorporated any of these features would be a copy of the iCar, regardless of when the other car was made. Anyone who drove the iCar would never shut up about how it is the best car ever.
These are all really funny. But I can't get with the knock on colors... are the people here too young to remember when apple was the first to break out mainstream computers in the multitudes of colors?
The iMac G3? was that it? way back when?
No knock on you, Natedog... yours just happened to be the one I replied to...
thin, really thin.
I bet you can control it with your mind. Multi-touch is so last year.
It'll be $15000 more expensive than other cars and inexplicably, it'll be the best-selling car ever.
oh its explicable... it'll be better than all the others, especially the zunecar.
It's inexplicable because it will have less functionality than competing cars at 2x the price and be the best-selling car in the world.
Just because of the "i".
Just think what this car would be called in French speaking countries: Le iCar > Le Car. Wasn't that a car that flopped like in the 80's?
The LeCar was sold in France as the Renault R5 and sold well.
The Le Car might have sold well in France but it didn't do that good here in the states. Not to say that anything Apple/VW won't be good...
Apple's big announcement:
Volkswagen is proud to adopt the iPod scroll wheel as the new interface for that old analogue steering wheel. Don't panic, it's normal for this car to click. Oh and it will be available in a "Brushed Steel" to blind everyone else on the road with your 'hip-ness'
Microsoft's Reply:
Collaborating with [drum roll please] Toyota and Toshiba we have made a semi-transparent car with crippled WiFi... wait for version 2 for good stuff.
eh besides Microsoft Windows XP embedded is used on all new GE trains :-P
Griffin will have decorative hubcaps ready one week before the iCar goes on sale.
and an almost matching seat cover made of nylon, to guard that sexy plexy racing seat from scratches
My goodness. I'm beginning to think Apple is slowly trying to take over the iWorld.
I wouldn't say "slowly" :)
and the budget model - the iCar Shuffle - lets you drive to random locations cause you can't see where you're goin!
Built using state of the art technologies all into a small sports coupe with a rocket engine, but you can only use 60mph of it, using 1 pedal.
it will be powered by a Reality Distortion Engine
Only one gas pedal, though there's a button on the dashboard you press and use the pedal at the same time to brake.
But buried in a configuration screen somewhere will be an option to brake by using both feet on the pedal. All those who don't configure their iCars that way will be flamed as idiots.
It'll never crash.
Or so Apple claims, which is why it doesn't include seatbelts or airbags.
Yeah, but can it play doom?
Silly deep, the iCar doesn't play games!
only if it is hacked and modded to include Linux, and only if it contains an intel core...
all the seat covers will be sheepskin.
naturally.
What about the easily scratched windshield??
Nokia is thinking of a RIPOFF!!!
iCar is a revolutionary motor vehicle.
iCar is a windowscreen iPod.
iCar is a breakthrough interlocation transportification device.
Dunno, but I hear Think Secret has already been sued for posting its MPG.
Microsoft will quickly release its Zunebuggy, bigger and browner than the iCar, with a D-pad in place of the steering wheel.
and
Due to the rise in iCar theft, owners will begin parking inside, displacing millions of GarageBands.
Probably one of the wittiest comments ever...
non-replaceable battery lasts only 18 months
Chris: "Internal combustion engines were stupid until we decided to use them."
ROFTL, good one Chris!
only comes in black and white. eventually a U2 model will be released, only difference a red steering wheel.
If your windshield cracks, the service is so expensive you might as well just buy a new iCar.
I would be quite an unusual shift from Apple's usual markets. But, if it does come to pass, I hope the cars are at least electric or otherwise non-polluting.
And very, very small, because otherwise those hip coffee shops are going to get kinda crowded.
It would be manufactured in Chinese sweatshops which test them using buggy Windows software.
2G will have bigger trunk space than the last
Can only drive on roads created by Apple
a million an one patents and only a few get implemented
every Apple employee will get one