April fool: AbleComm forgets what day it is, retracts Panasonic plasma cellphone release
Alright everyone, let's review: If you're going to put out a joke press release for April Fool's Day, it's important to make sure it's actually April 1st. That's a little lesson the folks at AbleComm apparently didn't get, because the company's April Fools press release about Panasonic putting partially-Ablecomm-sourced plasma screens in cell phones went out yesterday, April 3rd -- and got subsequently picked up by a variety of news outlets, including us. Yep, we got punked, we'll admit it. Unlike us, however, AbleComm hasn't yet had the stones to issue its own retraction, instead ordering PR Newswire to completely pull the release and put out a new, PRNewswire-written three-line retraction elsewhere. Yikes. We'll probably live without plasmas in our cellphones, but c'mon, people, at least admit it when the joke goes bad. Check out the retraction and the original fake press release after the break.[Thanks, David]
PRNewswire -- April 3, 2008
We are advised by AbleComm, Inc. that journalists and other readers should disregard the news release, Panasonic To Put Plasma Video Displays in Cell Phones, issued earlier today over PR Newswire, as the entire news release is completely false.
_________________
PRNewswire -- April 3, 2008
MILFORD, Conn., April 3, 2008, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- At a press conference on Tuesday, Panasonic revealed major changes in its telecommunications and high definition television divisions. New low-voltage plasma technology, partly sourced from AbleComm, Inc., is uniting the two divisions in new product initiatives, including plasma video displays for cell phones to use with AT&T's recently announced Mobile TV service.
The service will provide full-length television content and sporting events from CBS, Comedy Central, ESPN, FOX, MTV, NBC and Nickelodeon. It will be available in May.
Panasonic Communications and Networking Division Vice President Hiroshi Mitsukoshi told of a leadership shift in business phone systems, and Robert A. Perry provided a look at the future of Panasonic's HDTV business.
Larry White, who had been National Marketing Manager of the Communication Systems Group, has left the company. White will be replaced by Mark Balsama, who had been Group Manager of the Communications Systems Division until his retirement last summer.
Mitsukoshi told reporters gathered at AbleComm headquarters in Milford, CT, "I am extremely pleased that we have been able to convince the beloved Mark-san to come out of retirement and return to his desk. He worked at Panasonic for nearly 35 years and has an unmatched reputation and a special relationship with our dealers and distributors, and he will be a vital part of preparing the division for the future."
"We have defined our future as the dominant seller of plasma televisions, even though other display types have taken away percentage points in some screen sizes. We know that plasma is still the magic word that excites most buyers, and recent decisions by Pioneer and Fujitsu to exit the plasma display panel business offer us the opportunity to gain market share."
Mark Balsama then addressed the group and revealed plans to incorporate newly developed, miniature plasma displays in telephone products. "This is my first official day back at work, and I have a very exciting announcement to make. For nearly a decade, Panasonic's engineers have been secretly working on a thin, lightweight low-voltage compact plasma display. We have recently reached a licensing agreement for some key technology with product developer AbleComm, Inc. -- the same company that conceived our very successful KX-TVS50 voicemail system over 10 years ago. We will be able to incorporate miniature plasma displays into both consumer and business telephone products starting this fall. They will rival OLED displays for brightness, contrast and thinness, and can be manufactured for much less money."
AbleComm president Michael N. Marcus said, "This is an unexpected and happy coincidence for all of us. Our company has had a long relationship with Panasonic. Several years ago we developed a family of high-efficiency headsets for use with Panasonic business phones, and it turned out that a proprietary component used in those headsets was exactly what Panasonic needed to complete the development of their low-voltage miniaturized plasma displays."
Balsama continued, "Many of our new phones will have vibrant color plasma screens that can run on just 1.5 volts and won't require any additional wiring or special power supplies. We'll be able to put plasma in cell phones, business phones, consumer phones, corded phones, cordless phones, and even door intercom monitors and fax machines. We will revolutionize the consumer electronics business, as Panasonic has done many times before."
Robert A. Perry, the new Senior Vice President of Panasonic Consumer Electronics Company who is responsible for marketing plasma and LCD HDTVs, also addressed the meeting. He said, "Our plasma expertise and our large- scale, efficient manufacturing will allow these new small Panasonic plasma screens to replace LCDs in many applications -- gasoline pumps, automated teller machines, camera viewfinders, MP3 players, vending machines, automotive displays, digital photo frames, appliance touch screens and even the little pop-up screens on printers. In fact, I am pleased to announce that we will be supplying mini plasma screens to HP for an exclusive two-year period for use in their printers. We view our thin low-voltage PDP technology as a pre- emptive strike against OLED technology."
He pointed out that despite Panasonic's strong belief in the superiority of plasma displays, "We can't afford to ignore the growing demand for LCD HDTVs. At the same time that we are OEM-ing plasma for Pioneer, we will be quickly adding many models of LCD TVs to our line, buying OEM LCD display panels from Sharp, our good neighbor in Osaka."
"This strategy," Perry concluded, "will position Panasonic as the world leader in television sales among first-tier brands, capitalize on the economy of scale and cost savings of both LCD and plasma technologies from our new business partners, minimize future production risks and stabilize long-term profitability in a chaotic market."
SOURCE AbleComm, Inc.
http://www.ablecomm.com
















Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Anonymoose @ Apr 4th 2008 3:37PM
whew. it's a good thing i don't actually read engadget posts and just make stupid comments barely having to do with anything posted at all.
John @ Apr 4th 2008 5:24PM
You've both read this engadget article and posted a stupid comment barely having to do with anything posted at all. What do you have to say for yourself?
phanbouy @ Apr 4th 2008 3:39PM
pass the Balsamic, Mark!
Eric M. @ Apr 4th 2008 3:44PM
AbleComm, clearly your the weakest link. Goodbye.
Anonymoose @ Apr 4th 2008 3:47PM
*you're
don't worry, ablecomm, i got your back.
martin @ Apr 4th 2008 3:44PM
that, my friends, is called lying.
Esat @ Apr 4th 2008 3:55PM
I belive it's more commonly called a 'fuck up'.
3rdsun @ Apr 4th 2008 3:56PM
Maybe they have a slow ass connection and tried all Tuesday to post thhe ddarn thing but couldn't get enough bandwidth. Or maybe they slept all day tuesday and woke up with a boner and started blogging
GenericWhiteGuy @ Apr 4th 2008 4:27PM
April Fools jokes should be absurd and funny. For some reason April 1 has become a day to make plausible lies and then feel superior when people believe it.
Plasma screen technology in cell phones-- believable, not funny.
50" plasma screens in cell phones-- not believable, but funny.
iphone dev team sells out for millions-- believable, not funny.
iphone dev team develops application that allows boot camp to run xp on iphone-- not believable, but funny.
couchpundit @ Apr 4th 2008 4:42PM
I didn't read that post--I thought to myself, "WTF? A plasma screen on a cell phone? That's crazy."
I still think Windows Vista is the worst April Fool's joke yet, though.
ssuk @ Apr 4th 2008 5:28PM
I agree, pie does taste better than cake.
ssuk @ Apr 4th 2008 5:29PM
God damn, the reply to link is broken... Disregard this.
Anonymoose @ Apr 4th 2008 5:31PM
uhh, who said i actually read the article? crikey, look at my posts, who says i can even read?
StreetStealth @ Apr 4th 2008 5:34PM
At least you haven't responded to your own post yet.
Yet.
StreetStealth @ Apr 4th 2008 5:35PM
Weblogs Inc, your reply system is BROKEN!
TubeTop100.com @ Apr 4th 2008 5:49PM
I read the post and thought: MILFord?! I want to spend the rest of my life there.
phanbouy @ Apr 4th 2008 5:50PM
good lord, there's about 14 different names in that article. how about a clif notes version? k thanks a whole bunch
John Stracke @ Apr 4th 2008 6:25PM
I'm sure Panasonic and the SEC were thrilled.
Chris Macdonald @ Apr 4th 2008 7:18PM
who tf is ablecomm?
Bryan Thornsberry @ Apr 5th 2008 2:12AM
...fail.
Jamar @ Apr 5th 2008 6:46AM
That press release did remind me of one thing, though- America desperately needs a decent TV phone. It also brought to mind the P905iTV, something that should definitely cross the Pacific to America.
database @ Apr 5th 2008 8:34AM
*I
Oskin @ Apr 5th 2008 12:54PM
At Jamar,
I agree, we do need a good Tv phone! The iPhone would be perfect for that... Hopefully the iPhone take 2 will do just that!
AbleComm @ Apr 6th 2008 10:14PM
Be sure of your facts (and non-facts). We didn't forget the date, or anything. We deliberately distributed the spoof on the third because we knew it would get better pick-up then if it was sent out on the the first. There's no law limiting hoaxes to any one day of the year.
I did include a give-away that SOME media (not you) caught. I said that the mythical press conference took place on Tuesday, which was April Fools Day. Only one writer was suspicious enough to call and I told him that the "news" was April fooling.
As for stones, the retraction was sent with our full knowledge and approval a few hours after the spoof was sent out. I also sent an email with a confession, congratulating the first website that was publicly suspicious.
mike @ Apr 7th 2008 5:32AM
Oh... HAHAHAHAHAHA yeah that really was funny! What a great prank...seriously where did you come up with this? A Plasma in a phone... HAHAHAHAHAH... God you really are funny... seriously maybe you should just quit the phone business and do standup, cause... man, HILARIOUS. My stomach hurts from laughing! Seriously.