German users claim MacBook Air can cut through bread, flesh

Now, we know that the MacBook Air is one thin laptop, but some Apple forum members in Germany are claiming that the edge of the laptop is not only sharp -- but downright dangerous. According to "Apple Talk" reader Bajuware, his MBA went kill-crazy all over his elbow while he was cold-chillin' on his couch. The details are a little hard to suss out due to the language barrier (and machine translation), but it would appear the Air's bottom edge made nasty work of the human flesh like someone had insulted its mother. Another MBA owner claims his computer is sharp enough to slice bread, though we assume it's not used for buttering. Honestly, we're not sure what kind of danger an innocent MacBook Air could really pose besides causing you to throw out your back constantly plugging in the AC to charge that not-quite-as-advertised battery.

[Konrad Posted May 27th 2008 12:42PM]

His hands are paler than my Dreamcast.

[Samurai Jack Posted May 27th 2008 11:34AM]

Marine Boy called, he wants his boomerang back.

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 12:31PM]

it's the new Swiss MacBook Air

[bbake18 Posted May 27th 2008 12:36PM]

this is so ridiculously stupid that even the guy who is making the accusation is hiding his own face so that no one can pinpoint just who this truly stupid person is

[(Unverified) Posted May 29th 2008 10:17AM]

I think Apple should raise the price since it does other things apart from being a laptop.You know, a 3 in 1 laptop.Slicing your bread, a handy weapon and a portable thin laptop.Great technology.

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 2:29PM]

seeing the price is already that expensive I think they have already risen the price for the other 2 uses.

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 1:06PM]

thats clever, if someone sees you with one of them your gonna need something to protect yourself from the mugger.

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 1:12PM]

Can it cut a tin can and if so, how well does it slice a tomato afterwards?

[iMattchu Posted May 27th 2008 1:29PM]

If a loaf of bread has enough mass and is dense enough not to give under the pressure, then anything could cut thru it. I promise you, if you were to take MBA, and try to cut into a loaf of sunbeam bread or something that isn't dense, the bread would give, and would not actually cut it..

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 1:57PM]

Hello... I'm Jensche from Switzerland. The Pictures from the Breadcutting MBA are from me. The pics are Just Fake. I had precut the bread.

Here:
http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/4222/photo6ib2.jpg

[Mile Posted May 27th 2008 2:00PM]

Did you hear about the guy that brought an EEE to a Mac Air fight?

I'll stick with my Alien desktop replacement...it's great as a shield and when swung will stop any attack...permanently.

[psyclotron Posted May 27th 2008 4:34PM]

awesome! i also heard that Alien empties your wallet. permanently.

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 2:13PM]

Is it just Germans that are stupid enough to cut themselves with a laptop, or has this happened to other nationalities?

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 2:23PM]

I think it's you that is stupid enough to post this comment.

[psyclotron Posted May 27th 2008 2:34PM]

funny jokes y'all. srsly. open mike night is special.

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 2:50PM]

Actually the article say: the cut is from a MacBook, not MBA.
And the MBA cutting the bread is just a joke.

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 3:01PM]

http://www.coopers-driving-school.com

driving school

...................


nice cut...

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 4:07PM]

Cutting edge technology :-)

[psyclotron Posted May 27th 2008 4:10PM]

wow that's a great pun that someone already made here!

[Californian Posted May 27th 2008 4:45PM]

TRANSLATION
of "Scharfes MacBook" on Apfeltalk

Damn, I knew that the MacBook was sharp, but not that sharp...

...Incurred (?) on the edge of the MacBook, which runs around the bottom edge of the case, how?
I put it on the couch, then turned, and I was cut by the edge on my elbow...

...It looks harmless in the pictures, and probably is (I'm not especially whiny),
but the cut broke skin, and my couch is ruined. Blood stains everywhere.

Thanks Apple.
____________________________________________________________

Sorry it wasn't perfect, only in fourth year German, but that's the jist. Have fun Apple lovers! Wouldn't touch one myself anyway.

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 4:44PM]

Hmmm... Perhaps, if hurled like a frisbee, MBA could be a suitable high-tech replacement for "Odd-Job's" iron-brimmed tophat. Too bad Mr. Broccoli isn't around anymore to run with the ball... ;-)

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 5:09PM]

Let's NOT ban them.
After all, computers don't kill people; people kill people.

[Smacky Wolf Posted May 27th 2008 5:17PM]

Just an FYI:

I understand german, and reading over that page, the last few paragraphs denounce the fact that either of those things were caused by a MBA.

The elbow one was apparently caused by a Macbook, but not a MBA. Also, the one with the bread is a "dramatic reconstruction".

Though I do like the idea of using a MBA as a very expensive and hot shuriken. Expensive way to kill someone.

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 6:07PM]

That is sooo awesome!

[ZeroCorpse Posted May 27th 2008 9:12PM]

Yeah, and my old clamshell iBook was capable of causing some serious blunt-force trauma. So what?

Ask a master of jiujitsu- Anything is a weapon if utilized properly (or improperly!)

Disclaimer: I am not a master of jiujitsu.

[(Unverified) Posted May 28th 2008 9:51AM]

um, dont saw your damned arm with a MacBook Air. that should stop the injuries, you grossdumkauf.

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 10:14PM]

Those Germans is crazy. I heard there was a moyel doing circumcisions with a Mac Book Air. check it out http://www.rejectionism.com

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 10:22PM]

Oh Yes, I have cut myself with my new thin Apple Keyboard, and the Mighty Mouse, My MacBook Pro too, and my friends MacBook Air, wow, they are all little fiends aren't they now.

[(Unverified) Posted May 27th 2008 11:03PM]

someone make an iMac compatible sharpener, lets really get it super sharp


http://www.painful-back.com/

[(Unverified) Posted May 28th 2008 1:33AM]

this is bullshit... i can cut flesh and bread with a piece of paper :-/

[(Unverified) Posted Jul 24th 2008 7:06PM]

Well then. If you're scared of the MBA, then why the hell did you buy it? Its not like someone forced it on you.

Grow up and quit complaining about your decision that didn't turn out as well as you hoped.

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[ebowen Posted May 28th 2008 3:49PM]

My iPhone can cause a concussion if I throw it at someone's head and my MacBook Pro can decapitate a babies head.

[Mister Snitch Posted May 29th 2008 12:50PM]

The perfect tool for the techy terrorist. Command! Delete! Escape!

[(Unverified) Posted May 30th 2008 12:55AM]

Imagine a pack of them taught to kill on command...

[(Unverified) Posted May 31st 2008 8:48AM]

As a german I have to tell you that the cut in his arm was caused by an MacBook (NON Air) and the picture with the bread is dramatized! The MBA can NOT cut bread!

But the edges can be quite sharp at the MacBook, that's for sure.

[(Unverified) Posted Jun 2nd 2008 8:52AM]

Run your finger over the edge and tell me if it hurts. :oD