Josh T: "Hillary Clinton named president... of AppleCare division. Finally, Universal AppleCare."
Ryan: "Apple announces acquisition of Sharper Image's remaining assets; rebadges flagship product line iOnic Breeze."
Thomas: "iPods, iMacs renamed EeePods and EeeMacs; iPhone launched which is somehow both bigger and smaller than the current model."
Chris: "iPhone Capsule is introduced to thunderous applause, allowing consumers to effortlessly go 'back in time' to retrieve their obsoleted iPhone models."
Josh F: "In a surprise move, Steve Jobs says 'But wait: There's more!' instead of his signature 'Just one more thing,' then proceeds to throw in a Shamwow and two Infinity Razors if you order in the next 30 minutes."
Paul: "Jobs in a white wife-beater tucked into Levi's 501 cutoffs."
[Okay, that last one is more a wish from Paul than a prediction.]