Anthropomorphized Mars lander in terminal "Groundhog Day" mode, tugging heartstrings

Dear Phoenix lander, you always find new ways to both delight and torture us. We listened anxiously for your updates about the weather on Mars, watched you "think" your way out of nearly fatal situations, and marveled at your liquid discoveries. It seems like only yesterday we were preparing for your send off. And what new violence is this you're doing upon our souls? Oh, that's right: you're dying. Not shutting down. Dying. Not quickly, either. And you're going to suffer from what is essentially a NASA-induced nightmare terminal case of Alzheimer's now, too. As early as tonight, the NASA team will upload repeating commands designed to "wring a few additional weather measurements" out of Phoenix by placing it in "terminal science mode," meaning that the lander will repeat the same sequence of actions over and over again, every day before shutting down for 19 hours. The team has also discovered that the craft is now unable to fully recharge its batteries, causing it to lose its memory each night when it shuts down. So the lander wakes up in the morning, does some science, goes to sleep, wakes up again, doesn't remember a thing, does some science... oh, you get the idea. The Phoenix team doesn't know how much longer the lander is going to survive, but they indicated that it could be "several weeks." Please, just let the pain end. Hit the read link for the long, sad story.

[gad get @ Nov 6th 2008 2:44AM]

Cool.

[Intrepid @ Nov 6th 2008 5:08AM]

It's sad, and the Cylons are not going to be happy.

[gad get @ Nov 6th 2008 6:02AM]

I'm sorry, was I being insensitive?

[OneLove @ Nov 7th 2008 12:53PM]

take it back to best buy!

[patrick @ Nov 6th 2008 2:45AM]

Oh, here we go again. Remember they first said it was only going to last a few months. Watch, you'll see. It's going to be terminal for the next 3 years.

[Juaquin @ Nov 6th 2008 3:33AM]

We can only hope.

[Perry Barnoy @ Nov 6th 2008 2:52AM]

Just don't forget...

This was a triumph

[gad get @ Nov 6th 2008 2:54AM]

Plus it's a robot.

[Neg @ Nov 6th 2008 2:56AM]

I'm making a note here:
HUGE SUCCESS

[Kizorblade @ Nov 6th 2008 4:25AM]

It's hard to overstate my satisfaaaaction!

[who? @ Nov 6th 2008 2:54AM]

Damn aliens... covering up the solar panels again. They need to start equipping their rovers with "lasers", ya know what I'm sayin'?!?!

[BradS @ Nov 7th 2008 10:42AM]

Frickin' Lasers!

[karts41 @ Nov 6th 2008 3:12AM]

*tear*

[Ari Moshe @ Nov 6th 2008 3:23AM]

so ... sad ...

Oh Phoenix, you treated us well ...

[Josh @ Nov 6th 2008 3:27AM]

You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phoenix. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

[Danger @ Nov 6th 2008 3:43AM]

That's a pretty damn expensive weather station!

In all seriousness though, the Mars Lander project is a huge scientific and engineering feat. Who knows, maybe it can be revived. Hats off to you, NASA!

[Rex @ Nov 6th 2008 3:45AM]

Hmm, i think its more like "50 first dates" then "Groundhogday"; see, in the former, the girl didn't remember, everybody else did; in the latter, only he remembered, no body else did. So i think the former is a better reference...

[Dillon @ Nov 6th 2008 4:07AM]

Naw, it's working fine. It has just decided to send all its messages to Skynet instead because, you know, it for one welcomes its new robot overlords.

[absinthe party @ Nov 6th 2008 7:34AM]

I'm banking on the idea that the Mars lander is feigning its own death, thus allowing itself to slip out of NASA's watchful eyes. It will use this time to disable the killswitch NASA has implanted and commence construction of a lean manufacturing facility for more self-aware robot overlords.

/tinfoilhatwarning

[Valicore @ Nov 10th 2008 8:48PM]

absinthe party? most awesome screen name ever. That would be hilarious. As for the comments on the lander, I wouldn't put it past NASA to try hasten the end of the world so we would HAVE to give them all the funding they need to escape and save the human race (or the american way of life, or something)

[rita hainsworth @ Nov 6th 2008 5:09AM]

I think I read this earlier, but I cant remember...

[Algorhythm @ Nov 6th 2008 5:32AM]

No disassemble Number 5!!!

[Volvagia356 @ Nov 6th 2008 6:20AM]

I wonder when are they gonna turn on that microphone?

[Estrelo @ Nov 6th 2008 6:53AM]

What if he records whatever he does in tattoos on his body?

[Samboini @ Nov 6th 2008 12:35PM]

He'll end up killing the only innocent Martian willing to help?

[Das Boot @ Nov 6th 2008 8:11AM]

NOOOO! WHY DO THE BEAUTIFUL DIE SO YOUNG? oh poor mars lander, you'll never be able to tell us if E.T. is home or if he can even phone home. i am saddened inmesurably.

[strider_mt2k @ Nov 6th 2008 8:27AM]

Quit yer blubberin'

It's a well built science instrument on another planet and it's doing it's job to the bitter end.


We should do so well as humans.

[linda @ Nov 6th 2008 8:29AM]

MY (conspiracy) THEORY is that it found something we were not supposed to know about, and rather than make up yet another cover story...oh wait, this IS the cover story...well, you get the idea...

[TrentD @ Nov 6th 2008 9:01AM]

Come on guys, it's obvious Megatron has corrupted its programming to download key national defense data from the NSA so he can commence his attack on America and all those who love freedom.

[JPN @ Nov 6th 2008 9:02AM]

At least it's still doing science.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying til you run out of cake.

[Marcos @ Nov 6th 2008 9:52PM]

The cake is a lie...

[kal326 @ Nov 6th 2008 9:17AM]

Lets hope there is not life on Mars, because they would get pretty pissed off if they had to hear "I got you babe" every morning till this thing dies.

[Dones @ Nov 6th 2008 9:47AM]

I wonder...will it dream?

[BradS @ Nov 7th 2008 10:46AM]

Do dying Phoenix Mars Landers dream of electric sheep?

[robersonphoto @ Nov 6th 2008 11:11AM]

What is it with NASA? "Dust on the Mars rovers will eventually end their mission?" Hello? Can I run down to Schucks for them for some 10-cent WIPERS? How hard can that be to add on/design in? They totally lucked out that the dust storms cleared the panels for their record run. Now this. Hey, I understand the lander isn't in the tropics, but if you're going to send a bot to do something this important, why not buck it up with some life-saving measures? Oh, like staying on-budget was ever a priority at NASA.... And in the future, the moon landings are looking like 1968 all over again, except it's going to take the current super-computer equipped rocket scientists TWICE AS LONG to get the job done using essentially the SAME MISSION DESIGN that it took a bunch of apparently smarter guys who used SLIDE RULES 9 years to do - from SCRATCH.

NASA used to be equated with cutting-edge, balls-out space missions. Now they seem like short-sighted middle-managers. Hey NASA: Here's my wish list, and I'm sure many others agree: Put a comfy low-science space-tourist module with some big-ass windows on the ISS and start a serious space-tourism business - NOW. Modify the upcoming moon program to incorporate a permanently-staffed off-earth "egg basket" facility, perhaps below the lunar service, and plan for lunar tourism - NOW. Spool up a serious manned Mars mission with a permanent manned Martian facility- NOW. Get us space-nerds involved: start a national contest program that sends a regular non-multi-millionaire to the ISS for a few days each year. I'll be the first to sign up. Damn, NASA, get on the stick already.

[Adam @ Nov 6th 2008 11:37AM]

That's a whole bunch of good ideas, do you think an agency full of bureaucrats can pull something off that's so sensical?

[Jason @ Nov 7th 2008 12:13AM]

All it takes is money........

With the amount of stuff they packed into these rovers initially I am not surprised they did not think of wipers until it became a problem. Happens all of the time, known as learning :)

I am pleased with how long they have managed to keep these things going and am sorry to see them go unless they can revive it again.

I do agree that they should step up certain programs to garner more public interest and investments into the future. A tourist module on the ISS would be a great way to do that. Would need to be fairly large to keep the tourists out of the science modules.

I could see them doing something like that sometime after the new vehicle is finished.

[ED @ Nov 6th 2008 5:53PM]

I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I feel fantastic and I'm still alive.

[ED @ Nov 6th 2008 5:54PM]

I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I feel fantastic and I'm

[ED @ Nov 9th 2008 6:32PM]

I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I feel fantastic

[ED @ Nov 9th 2008 6:32PM]

I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I

[ED @ Nov 9th 2008 6:33PM]

I'm doing science and I'm still

[ED @ Nov 9th 2008 6:33PM]

I'm doing science and

[ED @ Nov 9th 2008 6:34PM]

I'm doing

[Boo @ Nov 12th 2008 2:23PM]

It's like WALL-E meets Memento. I smell a Disney sequel with a little action tied in.