Engadget's Holiday Gift Guide: for enemy
By Engadget staff 
posted Dec 24th 2008 3:46PM
posted Dec 24th 2008 3:46PM
$0 - 50
Punk Skull Belt Buckle - Your disdain for the person you're shopping for surely won't match the disdain he or she is bound to meet with once sporting this skeletal beast, it's that simple. Part fashion faux pas, part multimedia overload, this LED / MP3 player is sure to let your special, special friend know just how you "feel" about them.
$50.75 - Buy from Inesun.com
Awethumb - This one's basically like a kick in the teeth, without the mess or icky violence. The Awethumb will make the same point -- "I don't like you and you're awful" -- without breaking the bank, either. Designed for heavy texters to give some relief to their thumbs and ostensibly make typing "easier" on a QWERTY keyboard, we're pretty sure it (they?) fails in both respects. But you know, we give it a "thumbs up" on making people look like asses.
$11.98 - Buy from Awethumb
Scosche reviveLIGHT - An iPod charger / nightlight doesn't sound like a completely terrible gift, until you get a look at Scosche's take on the concept. It's ugly, it's clunky, and to be honest, a little steep for what you get! So, yeah, perfect for someone you don't like at all. Just be sure to not give them a receipt -- we wouldn't want any returns lightening the load around your enemy's abode.
$39.99 - Buy from Scosche
Fake iPhone - We don't know how much one of these costs, or where you can possibly get one, but by all means: if you have someone you really, really want to diss this holiday season, you absolutely cannot go wrong with a fake iPhone. This one, in particular, seems to have a real (albeit 1st-gen) iPhone casing, although it lacks innards or the ability to do anything beyond turn on. All the better for your not-beloved, right? Imagine the disappointment!
$?? - Somewhere in Russia.
HD DVD player - Yup, any HD DVD player will get the job done. While you're at it, maybe throw in an HD DVD copy of Battlefield Earth to seal the deal. Oh, that's right: you can't get Battlefield Earth on HD DVD. Your cruelty will be truly, undeniably on display with this one.
$55-$100 - Shop for HD DVD players
$11.98 - Buy from Awethumb
$39.99 - Buy from Scosche
$51 - 100
$?? - Somewhere in Russia.
$55-$100 - Shop for HD DVD players
Scale Mouse - It's a mouse, but also a pocket scale. In our opinion, most senseless hybridizations of devices result in super awesome gifts for people you can't stand, but this one is surely a standout example of pointlessness. And yes, it also adds insult to injury if the enemy you're buying for has chubby hands.
$59.95 - Buy from American Weigh
Celio REDFLY - Oh, the REDFLY... the Windows Mobile equivalent to Palm's (intelligently) abandoned Foleo gets right to the heart of what you're trying to say: I dislike you enough to get you this expensive, terribly unexciting, and borderline useless companion for your WinMo device. Hey -- at least their phone will have a friend, right?
$229 - Buy from Celio
Solid Alliance 2GB USB Skull Ring - This is a distinctly non-holiday-spirit-inducing gift sure to underwhelm or horrify the recipient. Unless your enemy is Lemmy Kilmister, you probably can't go wrong with this "gift."
$206 - Buy from Geek Stuff 4 U
CherryPal Cloud PC - "Hey, I got you this really great PC by CherryPal! Yeah, I've been hearing great things about it for years -- it's not out yet, but I pre-ordered it for you. You'll be one of the first to own it!" That's right -- CherryPal's been promising this one for ages, and it's not likely to appear anytime soon, so if you want to really let someone down, just tell them you got them this doozy. It's pretty likely they'll be waiting a long, long time for the gift to materialize.
$249 - "Buy" from Amazon (Warning: woefully, eternally "out of stock")
$59.95 - Buy from American Weigh
$101 - 250
Celio REDFLY - Oh, the REDFLY... the Windows Mobile equivalent to Palm's (intelligently) abandoned Foleo gets right to the heart of what you're trying to say: I dislike you enough to get you this expensive, terribly unexciting, and borderline useless companion for your WinMo device. Hey -- at least their phone will have a friend, right?
$229 - Buy from Celio
$206 - Buy from Geek Stuff 4 U
$249 - "Buy" from Amazon (Warning: woefully, eternally "out of stock")
$251 - 500
$?? - Shop at one of Meizu's retail stores
Crystal Icing - Everyone secretly wants their expensive gadgets aggressively bedazzled, right? We recommend something with dragons, flames or skulls, like a flaming dragon skull. Go with your douchebag gut.
Prices vary - Buy from Crystal Icing
Prices vary - Buy from whatever bastion of big box commercialism your enemy hates the most.
$501 - 1000
~$501 (includes free Storm) - Buy from Mystic Impressions Tattoo Studio: "4 years in business with 0% infections reported!"
$599 - Do you really care enough to track one down?
$250 with contract, endless monthly payments - Buy from Palm
$1001+
$1,533 - Shop for Hello Kitty laptop
An envelope of Anthrax will suffice.
Anthrax is so deliberate...
get them a bunch of wii accessories - when you know they don't have one. Then they'll spend the next 3 years wasting time trying to find one for a reasonable price.
cold waits outside of Best Buy.
sweaty hot waits outside of Toys R Us...
and the sad thing is, they'll think you care about em.
Is there like a shortage of Wiis or something? cause my costco had like 30 or 40 for 240 each. So that's what me and my dad got my mom for christmas.
Costco/ BJ's might have Wii's because they force you to have a $100 a year mmembership to join - thus making it so they will be able to guarrantee special purchase abilities to their club.
but REGULAR stores around like Gamestop and Toys r Us are bone dry of Wii's.
They forgot the neck massager!
Yeah, they also need to add the Hallmark Jumbo-sized Snowman Snowglobe, which, when placed in a window apparently catches your furniture on fire.
First they'll think you hate them. Then, they'll know it.
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE4BM4HH20081223
this article is pointless.
Wii isn't hard to find if you TRY. If you don't have the time to call areas stores (where I've seen them here in Dallas), you've been able to get them for limited markup on eBay for weeks. Sometimes the sellers are loosing money on them with the "free" shipping, and generally don't make more than $20 on a transaction. Same goes for Wii Fit.
I have absolutely no idea where there is a shortage of wiis near me. I keep hearing bitching but at the Frys, 2 bestbuys and a gamestop I saw a shitload of wiis. Not to mention my family got one the christmas it came out by literally walking in a gamestop and picking one up. Im sure shortages exist but still...
@Glenn Tobey
lol i wish i lived near you
my costco was sold out every weekend since November (weekends are the only time i can go cause of school)
OK...but who's the real loser here? The one receiving the lame gift, or the idiot who spends money to buy his enemy a fricking present? Fail!
Failing to see that this article is a joke is a bigger fail ...
Well...if you buy your ENEMY a gift, they'll think you care and they'll reciprocate.
You meant to be mean - they might get you something you like...then you stop being enemies. I'd rather have enemies than friends.
Except for neocons..I could give a fk what they think.
It's so fail, it might just be a win.
A "gift for an enemy" might be a better joke on a friend than some lame present they don't really need.
At least if the friend has a good sense of humor and can understand the joke and not get upset because of it.
Irony:
The $1001 Epson Hello Kitty laptop has more ports than the MacBook Air (base $1799)
because part count really makes a laptop better. I'd worry about the quality of those parts. I definitely don't buy a macbook air. For friend, for enemy, for self, its a waste.
oh, and btw the hello kitty laptop is $1,533. READ.
@Matthew C:
Port you idiot, he said port.
Why does everyone feel it's their job to be a jack@ss online.
Self-referential irony! Love it, Bowser! Love! It!
Sorry my bad... I just read the $1001+ above the laptop. Nonetheless, I can't believe something that looks that ridiculous has more ports than the MacBook Air.
Haha avirji you have nothing to be sorry about. It seems as though Matthew is just an idiot. So busy giving you shit for not getting the price correct and not "READ"ing, his dumbass doesn't even correctly read your post. I laughed.
M8's pretty darn powerful though. If it didn't look exactly like an iPhone, i'd buy it.
Truth be told, I don't really understand Engadget's hate of the M8. It's a slick looking device that serves its purpose quite nicely. Is it an iPhone? No. Is it ripping off the iPhone? Yes. But does that make it any less of a capable device? No. I'd love it if my enemy gave me one.
By the way Engadget, what's up with posting a gift guide on Christmas Eve? Last week would have been nice.
I agree, if you can get one for a reasonable price it seems like a nice phone.
they hate it because it's not an iPhone
In the literary world, copying another person's work is called plagiarism. It's met with career-ruining consequences and has a horrible connotation.
For some reason, in the tech world, copying another person's work is called a ripoff and somehow garners praise for companies "sticking it to the man."
Quite simply, the M8 is the perfect example of the sad state of intellectual property rights and global copyright laws in the tech field.
@John:
There's more to the M8 than it's external design, whose similarity to the iPhone is denied by no one. Check out some of its specs before labeling it a ripoff.
Engadget oughtta release a "for procrastinators" Holiday Gift Guide at 11:00 PM eastern time today (Christmas EVE)
(excuse the Freudian slip)
Any digital gift card will suffice or downloadable application/game.
i actually want that palm treo 800w...
so anyone wants to be my enemy now?
I will send you a half a giant centro glued to half an iphone.
..and then COD you for the value of both.
actually i have the Sprint SERO plan, and i am loving it.
The BEST, I read BEST "For:" list engadget has ever done. PERIOD.
hahaha.
Like Buck Nasty would say some 3 years ago, "Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!"
Make love not War-craft!
Ordering a bunch of pizzas to their house works too, especially with toppings they despise.
why does no one like the scale mouse?
for someone who frequently sells small packages on ebay, it could be great!
No, silly. That's what the watch scale is for.
http://www.engadget.com/2008/08/21/watchscale-attempts-to-become-the-new-calculator-watch/
And don't forget the people that sell small packages...not on ebay ;)
i'm with ya, i'd love that scale mouse! sell some "small packages" and use the money to buy some swag online, it's a win win!
cool stuff
i see what you did there
What about all those crappy crystal earbuds?
because do you really want to spend 10 grand on your enemy?
Because then they will have to spend 10 grand on ME!!!
***grins***
For Enemy: Apple iPhone and it's craptastic virtual keyboard, software, and network.
Muahaha.
Ehh... I thought it would be better. The whole series has been mediocre honestly. Better luck next time. The website is still godly though!
Not a very great list. I'm confused as to why an inkjet printer is on it. And the Scale Mouse would be perfect for the drug dealer/hardcore gamer.
Keep your (real) drugs outta my vidya games!
But yeah, I don't know how much I'd appreciate a cloud of coke going up every time I play Fallout 3.
A HP inkjet is not good enough. It has to be some real shitty no name brand inkjet printer that has proprietary inkjet cartridges that can only be bought online from Nigeria, a paper feeder and crappy rollers that manages to turn your portrait feed paper into a landscape output every second page and a manual that has been poorly translated from Chinese to English.
I think this list was a bit over the top...
Don't really see the point of this article, many parts of it are quite a stretch...I guess I'd count this the same as one of those holiday filler programs on TV...
Thanks!
I didn't know what to give my enemies since http://www.spamyourenemies.com/ is down.
Promise them you'll get them Duke Nukem Forever. You should be able to get that in another 10-12 years.
hey, how'd you get that picture of Flashpoint wearing the Punk Skull Belt Buckle?
Annoy-a-tron FTW!!!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8c52/
i avtuallt hoy teh awrtgumns
translation.
i actually got the awethumbs
thad
i sssee wjat you dod therw
I love the Gift Guide for enemy. It's my favorite part of the year. OOoo, I used to have an HP 540. What a POS! lol
I bought myself a hd dvd player (add on for 360) on saturday for 30£
and some movies for around 3£ each
not bad if you ask me.
You must really hate yourself.
Although I must confess that I am no Sony fan by any stretch of the imagination, but you can't argue that Blu-Ray won the war, and HD-DVD has gone the way of the dodo.
Or the Treo.
engadget...please update this with the new "sexy" vertu in the latest post
Hey, you must LOVE your enemy to spend that much on him, even if it's a prank.
yeah talk about the $2m Bioscleave House listed
I wouldn't mind getting half those items -.-
Hey, if you don't know how much the fake iPhone costs why you put it in between $51 and $100?
I bought myself an HD DVD/BD combo drive and $120 worth of HD DVDs for Christmas, what does that say about me?
That you are your own enemy?
ho ho ho
You are a genius of epic proportions, and possibly a vulture in a previous life.
Buying a load of "exactly-the-same-as-the-bluray-version-but-a-fraction-of-the-price-hd-dvds" and a bluray/hd-dvd combo drive is an ideal way to kick start a hidef collection while still waiting till bluray disks get down to a sensible price.
But at least they made a tv show about you *snicker* starring Christian Slater, bwahaha!
Casablanca, The Departed, A Scanner Darkly, 2001: A Space Odyssey, V for Vendetta, Blade Runner 5 Disc Collector's, Goodfellas, Serenity, Shaun of the Dead, Children of Men, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Pan's Labyrinth
They were a great deal and yea same VC-1 encode as the Blu-Rays
So who wants to be my enemy?
cuz if it is 150+ they can get the 8gb for 200
Not gonna lie, I liked last year's enemy list better. The timing was great, having all those Sidekicks fail and all.
The truth hurts.
Apparently, it really stings, because my comment was deleted again! What comment? A comment I posted twice in which I pointed out that Engadget is biased in a certain way. :P
Engadget is obsessed with the iPhone!
haha i love the first pic - that guy looks like his penis is on fire. now THAT'S a gift i'd get my enemy.
spreading std's is NOT cool man xD
I think that's an arrow that was drawn in, dude.
holy crap.
Hope it works better than the WiFi rabbit. Even the homebrew folks are giving up on that peice of crap. :(
Wouldn't it be easier to punch your enemy in the face?
Inkjet printer (any brand)
GASP!
The humble inkjet printer made the list. Not only that, they were all unfairly bundled into one bad category. THE SHAME! With the price all-in-one (scanner, printer) units go for, I think this was a big mistake.
I reckon it's simply the price of ink here that's the problem. Inkjet printers themselves are awesome wonders of technology, IMO. As are scanners.
The fact that your enemy will have to change an empty cartridge even though they are not using that colour after switching to greyscale (black) printing will be the true insult (and unfortunate trend with many of these inkjets).
The maintenance costs budget will be hit hard, but can you live with the guilt of lining the pockets of those who perpetuate such crimes at Joe User? That is the question :)
Printer Ink for an incompatible / un-owned printer; the perfect "I hate you" 'gift'. (preferably made by a third-party because you're cheap like that). Best 'accidentally' spilled on shirt. Oops.
Yeah and wouldn't you actually be saving your enemy money b/c he didn't have to go out and get more ink for like a whole 'nother week?
The gift guide I was most looking forward to. Gifts for the enemy, I believe the best one on the list is the HD DVD Player with free Bluray disk, classic.
Where is the popcorn hour A-110? You guys pimped that product and its a buggy piece of crap. It deserves to be on this list.
I love that you put the guide up on Christmas Eve. XD and I just dont give gifts to my enemies.
so what does it mean that engadget was giving out the awethumbs to its readers at the meet up in ny?
How about a copy of windows ME?
Ok, I hate you all! Who's first to buy me a M8 ? :D:D:D:D
When the staff at engadget receives a bunch of Honda Ass Assists, maybe they'll finally start taking my list of demands seriously.
~yours truly,
your mortal enemy
A Sharper Image gift card.
*giggle, snort*
iEye, clak, jubei, and Zak, I'm getting you guys some Zunes. But keep an open mind. You just might like it.
dude, I think iEye and clak just killed themselves.
lets leaves zunes ontop of their graves!!!!!!
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1176/1172090604_ec5cccb1c6.jpg
that it my proof of their deaths.
whats wrong with meizu m8? Havent heard anything bad about it in any review... not that there have been any. The point is that it could be bad or great
The M8 costs 2380 Yuan, about 245 € or so. Can't be bothered to convert that to USD.
The M8 has been reviewed several times, and seems to be pretty decent.
I've played with one for a few minutes, and it worked great, was FAST, responsive, the keyboard works fine (probably almost as good as on the iPhone... ok, that's not hard to achieve, but still) and the screen is just amazing. It's as crisp as phone screens go (think Touch HD etc.). Ok, those Japanese phones pack more resolution into smaller screens, but that's Japan. It is very iPhone like, just for half the price (no, expensive contracts don't count in. If you get one of those contracts and let them pay you out what they would otherwise invest in the phone, you will probably get the M8 for free or would even earn money for it) and in some points superior (yes, codec support. I wouldn't want anything that doesn't play Ogg Vorbis, a large part of my collection is in that format. Or in FLAC).
Hate me, Engadget. Hate me.
Ps: Thomas Ricker, was that your suggestion?