Crapgadget Crapdown, CES: the best of the worst

We didn't notice nearly as much crap at CES 2009 as we did last year, but what we did see was pretty stunning in its mediocrity -- and then there was the amazing Dragon gamepad, which in our opinion was single best product of the show. Pick your favorite of the contenders below, then hit your local dollar store to see 'em in person.

Gallery: Crapgadget Crapdown, CES: the best of the worst

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The nominees:
Crapgadget CES, round 1: Elvis Presley Plug 'n Sing
Crapgadget CES, round 2: Stereo Bluetooth Sunglasses
Crapgadget CES, round 3: The iCap
Crapgadget CES, round 4: kinetic energy charger
Awesomegadget CES: Dragon Fire Breather
Crapgadget CES, round 6: New Generation Video Game System
Crapgadget CES, round 7: the furry phone
Crapgadget CES, round 8: Remote Control Cooler
Crapgadget CES, round 9: pimped Segway KIRF
Coby's MP836 hands-on

Crapgadget Crapdown, CES 2009

Elvis Presley Plug 'n SingStereo Bluetooth SunglassesThe iCapKinetic Energy ChargerDragon Fire Breather gamepadNew Generation Video Game SystemThe furry phoneRemote Control CoolerPimped Segway KIRFCoby MP836Vote

[mitchell @ Jan 12th 2009 5:28PM]

So hard to chose.

[Smart People Play Tuba @ Jan 13th 2009 9:59AM]

I thought the Dragon thing was originally filed under AWESOMEgadget, not Crapgadget.

[Kristopher Windsor @ Jan 13th 2009 4:51PM]

So hard to spell!

[Java Man @ Jan 15th 2009 2:16AM]

Drink a cup of Java Janes coffee from JAVAJANES.COM and everything will look better. It distorts your vision. Good stuff! 7 days without Java JAne's Coffee makes one weak!

[Wolfticket @ Jan 12th 2009 5:28PM]

Will the remote control cooler also be in the best gadget poll?

[__smooth__ @ Jan 12th 2009 5:43PM]

It was a hard decision, but I don't understand why so many people are voting for the gamepad. At least it has SOME utility. What the hell are you going to do with a "new-gen game system" or a pimped out segway (as if a stock one wasn't bad enough!) I went for the Elvis mic because it wreaks of copyright infringement and bad voice-over quality.

[Clueless @ Jan 16th 2009 2:07AM]

That one's obvious: you can pick the one in the picture, or you can go exploring and make a decision. And we all know how much engadget readers enjoy doing work.

[STINK @ Jan 12th 2009 5:43PM]

Massaging a dragon's googlybits? The horror!

[Christian @ Jan 12th 2009 5:46PM]

Anyone who went to the CES convention, did anyone see some of the booths already showcasing DSi accessories even though DSi isn't sold in retail here yet?

[telepheedian @ Jan 12th 2009 6:02PM]

I think that's kinda the point of a trade show, also, CES is international.

[Ellianth @ Jan 12th 2009 6:11PM]

I know right? Did anyone notice all those other booths that had products that weren't even available?!?!?

That one booth by that one company that was showing off that one phone that wasn't available yet was especially awesome!

[bobby @ Jan 12th 2009 5:48PM]

So you noticed crap at CES 2009 last year?

[Flashpoint @ Jan 12th 2009 5:53PM]

bite me !

[The WC @ Jan 13th 2009 1:17AM]

*Chomp*

Mmm... a bit stringy, but it'll do.

[Jubei @ Jan 12th 2009 6:00PM]

The Zune should always be a default choice for these types of polls. Its a well know fact that this "me too" product is the butt of all jokes when it comes to PMP.

[tonymrep @ Jan 12th 2009 6:18PM]

plonker

[Fernando G. @ Jan 12th 2009 6:21PM]

two PMPs walk into a bar, one says to the other...

[auricom @ Jan 13th 2009 7:23AM]

"women pay me to give them pleasure.."

[bokeen @ Jan 16th 2009 7:29PM]

Really? So you're saying that it is bad for other companies to try to compete with Apple? Because where I come from, competition is considered a good thing.

[tonymrep @ Jan 12th 2009 6:06PM]

Had to go with the icap. The other crap could be amusing, but a cap with speakers is utterly useless. Reminds me of this: http://store.theonion.com/visorganizer-gift-box-p-145.html

[Roger @ Jan 12th 2009 6:47PM]

I bet the polls would be more balanced if the picture was of something other than an item on the list - I don't think that controller is nearly as bad as some of the other things.

[JD @ Jan 12th 2009 7:59PM]

The Controller is by far the worst.
Think about it: if you had to use any of these products to save your life, the controller has to be last on your list.
Can you imagine gaming with that thing and looking down at it? Uncontrollable wailing will ensue.

[BevQB @ Jan 12th 2009 8:34PM]

The Kinetic Energy Charger has (with a few modifications) the most potential to change the world. Think of it, teenage boys will BEG for electric cars; no laptop will ever run out of juice again; indeed, the world's energy problem's may eventually be history.

Besides, I laugh like a loon every time I watch that video. What were they thinking?!

[Tanner @ Jan 12th 2009 9:36PM]

I've vote if we could get the nominees on one frickin' page.

[feraligatr8 @ Jan 12th 2009 9:48PM]

In my opinion.... they ALL suck

[Skor @ Jan 12th 2009 11:15PM]

The kinetic charger is legitimately the biggest piece of crap in the poll simply because it only works vertically. All the others perform their function regardless of crappy/unreasonable/stupid product design.

[The WC @ Jan 13th 2009 1:18AM]

"The best of the worst?" Wouldn't that be simply "mediocre?"

Maybe if you said "the worst of the worst," that would add more clarity.

[Ackbar @ Jan 13th 2009 1:26AM]

I could be here thinking all night long which is the crappiest gadget on the list.

[G @ Jan 13th 2009 4:03AM]

It was a tough choice, but at the end i went with the furry phone.

[roundgob @ Jan 13th 2009 6:42AM]

Nipples.

[NickNick @ Jan 13th 2009 9:21AM]

The pimped segway

"They see me ridin.."

[James @ Jan 13th 2009 10:50AM]

They see roll on my Segway.
I know in my heart they think I'm white and nerdy.

[Zich @ Jan 13th 2009 10:30AM]

Furry phone, hands down. I mean, ts a corded, land-line phone!!
Maybe if we travel back to 1970 CES, it could have been something, and the retro-roto dial look and pink fuzz with rhinestones might even have been fashionable....

[MarbleMind @ Jan 13th 2009 12:41PM]

I'm sorry, what's wrong with corded landline phones?

[KRIS_C_123 @ Jan 13th 2009 4:18PM]

i chose the bluetooth sunglasses, just becuase i feel sorry for the guy on the poster

[Jo @ Jan 13th 2009 4:47PM]

I chose those too but I did because they are so dumb. CRAP! and dorky!

[dirbin @ Jan 13th 2009 10:48PM]

After reading some of the manual, this must come packaged with that "All you base are belong to us" game.

[blizzyb @ Jan 14th 2009 9:10PM]

not cool calling people who play shooters all night nerdy, i play online with the most popular kids in my school

[mom @ Jan 14th 2009 9:20PM]

I choose the blue tooth glasses. I have only seen one real live adult wearing them. Yes you guessed it DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER! Just so we are clear they look stupid on real people to.

[Mork And Mindy @ Jan 14th 2009 9:25PM]

Some of this stuff is just flat out funny as heck it should be filed under what where you thinking category. I mean I am sure some of sold out at first then people looked at and said to themselves am I an idiot or what. So my thing who markets, produces, and try's to sell this stuff should first ask themselves if they are an idiot. But hey what do I know I am sure at one time or more I bought some weird and wacky items and I probably still have them and use thme oh well I am a bit wack I guess. Maybe I just bought it to be the only one to have one because I knew no one else would I guess the jokes on me.

http://www.thelocomonkey.com

[stratohog @ Jan 14th 2009 11:13PM]

All of you people on this board really need to move out of your mothers basement and get a life!!

[Mark @ Jan 15th 2009 1:21AM]

The cooler might sell, if marketed as :For when you are to drunk to walk!