You know, there are some things in life you never expect to do twice: get divorced, fall into the same puddle, write a post about scalp massagers. But here we are, looking at the OSIM uCrown 2 -- an AA battery-powered "soothing head massager" that will jingle your worries away while using "patented air pressure technology, vibration, magnetic therapy" and heat to make your cranium a warm and cozy place to be. We give it credit for looking less like it came from the set of Spaceballs than your typical fare, but quickly take it back because of the ridiculous asking price of $200 and the fact neither model is brave enough to wear the uCrown with their eyes open.