Sprint's announced that it'll carry the Kyocera DuraPlus -- a rugged cellphone that recalls a lifetime of tedious internet memes. It's certified to "Military Standard 810G," for its resistance to dust, shock, vibration, temperature extremes, humidity and it's able to withstand water depths of one meter for, erm, up to half an hour. You'll also find an embedded LED flashlight capable of lighting the darkest of very dark rooms. Using Direct Connect, you can push-to-talk to other subscribers or use Group Connect to chat with 20 at a time. It'll ship with a 1650 mAh battery (9.5 hours of talk time) with an additional 2300 mAh battery for those long trips round the secure compound. You'll also be able to buy an external charging port to juice multiple units at once -- if you're running your own private militia and need to swap out devices on the go, for example. It'll be available in the first half of the year for an undisclosed price, but we'd wager it'll be something really manly, like the teeth of a wild animal you've vanquished or in exchange for capturing Denis Leary.