Probably not coming soon: the sperm-killing cellphone

We weren't able to catch the big 3GSM trade show in Cannes, France, last week, but after hearing about some of the crazy cellphones that surfaced there, we really wish we'd been able to make it. Some of the oddities include: The Encyclo-phone, which has the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica stored on it; the Defenderfone, which has a built-in stun gun; the X-PandaCam, which can project a slideshow onto a wall from as far as 10 meters away; and most disturbingly (and we hope this is some sort of hoax), the Nippit 3000, a special chip from Prophy-Lectric meant to be installed into cellphones. The Nippit 3000 can project a ultrasonic beam that supposedly kill any sperm within a range of 18 feet and is supposed to be used as a form of birth control. What's terrifying is that anyone crazy enough to employ such a bizarre method of birth control probably shouldn't be reproducing anyway.