We Interrupt Your PSP Hype Programming for a Dose of Reality

By Vladimir Cole

Media coverage of the North American launch of Sony's PSP has been overwhelmingly positive, and that bodes well for the unit's long-term success. "Fans Finally Get Their Hands on Sony's PSP" gushes PC World. "Game fans clamor for PSP"
says CNET. And so on. You get the picture.

But in the interest of balance, let's round up some of the glitches we (with the help of our eagle-eyed readers)
have observed in conjunction with the PSP launch.

  • Lines in Inclement Weather: We understand that it?s good publicity to line fans up outside your stores many
    hours before the launch of a new product that you spent millions developing, millions marketing, and will spend
    millions more shipping to landfills if it?s not successful, but really, you had the space to move some of those
    poor, huddled masses indoors where they wouldn?t be at risk of hypothermia or other bodily injury. One man waiting
    in line last night told us, ?I?m so cold, I can?t feel my [reproductive organs] anymore!? Is impotence really one
    of the side effects you want to have listed on your PSP boxes?

  • Playing the ?it will be sold out in no time!? card too heavily: Yes, we know nothing sells quite so well as the
    promise that some product will be out of stock soon, but PSP launch party host Carson Daly?s repeated invocations
    of the great Tickle Me Elmo shortage of ?96 were a shallow ploy to goad the crowd into buying (now!). We saw
    right through it. Reader Chris Norman reports, ?I walked by a Gamestop in midtown Manhattan this morning, that also
    had a midnight opening, and they had a stack of PSPs up to the ceiling.? Yeah, the weather kept some people away.
    But references to a craze for dolls don?t exactly stoke the fires of gamer lust. If Daly knew anything about
    games or gamers, he would have mentioned the shortage of PS2 units accompanying that console?s North American
    launch.

  • Busted PSPs: The gaming theater setup at the launch event consisted of hideous movie-style seating bolted to
    plywood. The whole contraption sat atop slate floors, that?you guessed it?didn?t exactly provide much cushion when
    PSPs fell from one of the chairs (see photo). The president of SCEA says that the penalty for referring to the
    PSP as a gaming device is death. What, then, is the penalty for breaking one of them?

  • No beer makes Homer something something: The weather was wet, the event was dry, and the only intoxicating
    substances present were the models (and they weren?t beer flavored). What gives? If you want us to find The Tool
    entertaining, you had better help us out a bit, chemically speaking. Can I get an Amen?

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