Steve Jobs Leaves Apple to Pursue Other Interests

In a stunning turn of events TUAW has learned that Apple CEO Steven P. Jobs has departed from the company. When asked for comment Mr. Jobs replied, 'I don't talk to freakin' bloggers. And how did you get into my bedroom?'

Strong words indeed.

Phil Schiller, Apple Senior Vice President of Worldwide Product Marketing, likes talking to bloggers and agreed to sit down with me and discuss the situation:

TUAW: Phil, thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk with me.

Phil: Not a problem, Scott. You know I've been reading your posts on TUAW since you started and I think you're the best of the bunch.

TUAW: Oh, Phil, you're making me blush.

Phil: Seriously! And what's the deal with that C.K. character? Why must he hate?

TUAW: I think we're getting off track here. How will Apple deal with Steve's departure?

Phil: What?

TUAW: You haven't heard? Steve resigned this morning.

Phil: Good Lord! Mary [Phil's assistant], get my stockbroker on the phone. I need to unload some of this Apple stock posthaste. And check to see if Steve's parking space is available.

TUAW: Umm, Phil?

Phil: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!

[Phil runs from his office and thus concludes TUAW's first April Fool's Day post].