Sniffin' cash money millionaires

We know all the privacy advocates out there have been less than excited about the idea of uniquely identifiable mylar strips, or worse yet, RFID tags, getting embedded in our paper currency. (Seriously though, does anyone use that stuff anymore?) They allege this might lead to all sorts of societal ills and violations of civil liberties, but so long as those crisp greenbacks rolling off the press have that distinctive pungent aroma from those special inks they use (we heard the formula is actually one part formaldehyde, two parts squid ink), it looks like we could still be in for trouble with money detectors: the Idaho National Laboratory has developed a specially tuned sniffer adept at picking up trace signatures of your cash money, even up to 10 feet away, as well as a device which fires energy through matter (like your luggage or pockets) to can detect trace metals in US Mint ink as gamma rays. Of course they claim this will be used to stop people from trafficking drug money in and out of the country, but we really know who's behind these devices: crooked baggage handlers, dude, think about it! Besides, if they were so worried about druglords and their devious goings on, why not just build a super-duper coke sniffing machine? Yes, we know what we just said, ok?
And no, we're not going to follow that up with an easy Paris Hilton joke.