Shinobu-chan potty-friendly ringer

There you are at the office. It's 8:55 AM; only 5 minutes remain before you have to start your day. Thanks to the fiber, just like any other day, you decide to make your trip down to the Porcelain God. Normally, you'd be concerned about making embarrassingly loud noises while you drop your friends off at the pool. But not today.

For today, you have your mobile phone loaded with the "Shinobu-chan" ringer from Japan's "Scoop Music." Assuming your handset is powerful enough, the Shinobu-chan ringer can make "flushing sounds" of up to 100 decibels for as long as 32 seconds. According to Scoop Music, "some women flush two or even three times to cover up embarrassing sounds made while on the can." It's easy to  imagine the laughs they had when collecting this data, but they also say normal "john sounds" fall in the 55 – 65 decibel range; a 100 decibel ringer would easily take care of these. And that says nothing about how much water will be saved. But even more interesting is Scope Music's disclaimer: "please be aware that the volume of sounds made can vary from person to person."